I said Happy Father’s Day to one man and it was my best friends husband.

Loving this

I unmatched with a guy today because he doesn’t read books lol

In college I used text replacement to replace “dad” with “Osama Bin Laden” in my mom’s phone. It was a huge breach of trust and she didn’t let me hold her phone for a long time after that.

Getting ratioed on Hunger Games TikTok

I have a lot of deal breakers for my next relationship but being a pranker has to no 1

My best friend in the whole world

I can’t kill myself until Taylor drops Reputation TV

“Hey kids, want to hear a fun fact?”
“Yeah!”
“No human has ever been killed by a dinosaur”
Legitimately blew their minds. Tiny dummies 💕

My favorite thing is when my friends don’t answer the phone I like to leave crazy voicemails of just a stream of consciousness. And then when they call me back they just don’t mention it.

When it’s real

Unmatched on bumble with a secret cop 👍