Sam Murray
@sammurrayoffical.bsky.social
Pirate after sex: you made me as jolly as a Rodger.
December 24, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Pirate after sex: you made me as jolly as a Rodger.
Conspiracy theories were way more fun when they were all about Elvis.
December 23, 2025 at 4:35 AM
Conspiracy theories were way more fun when they were all about Elvis.
You’re making the Yuletide WHAT?
December 6, 2025 at 1:49 AM
You’re making the Yuletide WHAT?
Schrodonger’s Cocks
November 3, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Schrodonger’s Cocks
(pencil on sketch pad scratches)
She take a nap on my pole, lying on my boner parts.
(exhales)
(erases)
She take a nap on my pole, lying on my boner parts.
(exhales)
(erases)
November 3, 2025 at 5:56 PM
(pencil on sketch pad scratches)
She take a nap on my pole, lying on my boner parts.
(exhales)
(erases)
She take a nap on my pole, lying on my boner parts.
(exhales)
(erases)
I’m throwing out Ad Hoc like you wouldn’t believe
October 27, 2025 at 2:01 PM
I’m throwing out Ad Hoc like you wouldn’t believe
Fuckin love Better Man (2024) there’s one scene where he asks for a song to be taken down a key and I went “yeah, with all the drugs the monkey takes, that checks out” like wtf.
September 26, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Fuckin love Better Man (2024) there’s one scene where he asks for a song to be taken down a key and I went “yeah, with all the drugs the monkey takes, that checks out” like wtf.
Napping is like your own tv except with half-remembered reconstructions of your primary school friend Damion
And wayyyy more blood.
And wayyyy more blood.
September 21, 2025 at 11:26 AM
Napping is like your own tv except with half-remembered reconstructions of your primary school friend Damion
And wayyyy more blood.
And wayyyy more blood.
On a perfect streak of saying the exact wrong thing in any conversation I’ve had in the last two weeks.
September 12, 2025 at 5:07 PM
On a perfect streak of saying the exact wrong thing in any conversation I’ve had in the last two weeks.
Everything should (hypothetically speaking) be coming up Millhouse
September 10, 2025 at 10:47 AM
Everything should (hypothetically speaking) be coming up Millhouse
Can someone order me a chicken royale from @burgerking.com.br?
September 2, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Can someone order me a chicken royale from @burgerking.com.br?
When I die, don’t use Spotify premium, let the ai decide what random slightly similar songs should be played at the service.
September 1, 2025 at 7:10 AM
When I die, don’t use Spotify premium, let the ai decide what random slightly similar songs should be played at the service.
The wright brothers doing 9/11
August 23, 2025 at 10:31 PM
The wright brothers doing 9/11
Really sucks for Trump, he thought that whole Epstein Island was Total Drama
August 8, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Really sucks for Trump, he thought that whole Epstein Island was Total Drama
Imagine being Introverted and Schizophrenic
August 6, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Imagine being Introverted and Schizophrenic
The artist formerly known as Prince Charles
August 6, 2025 at 3:38 PM
The artist formerly known as Prince Charles
I saw people who get up earlier will live on average longer than those who don’t. I mean no shit, they have more hours clocked in total.
August 6, 2025 at 3:37 PM
I saw people who get up earlier will live on average longer than those who don’t. I mean no shit, they have more hours clocked in total.
Need to write better jokes, my set ups are great…
August 6, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Need to write better jokes, my set ups are great…
It’s very difficult to be objective about anything from my point of view
August 6, 2025 at 3:36 PM
It’s very difficult to be objective about anything from my point of view
When did Movies turn into College-humour parody trailers?
March 31, 2025 at 3:49 PM
When did Movies turn into College-humour parody trailers?
Who gave better head? Gollum or Annoying orange?
March 31, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Who gave better head? Gollum or Annoying orange?
I forget the definition for faux pas a lot, if you think im gonna stop saying it, That’s a faux pas.
January 20, 2025 at 7:47 PM
I forget the definition for faux pas a lot, if you think im gonna stop saying it, That’s a faux pas.
What if rationalised was misheard by conservatives as radicalised cus they can’t rationally think of anything.
January 19, 2025 at 1:11 AM
What if rationalised was misheard by conservatives as radicalised cus they can’t rationally think of anything.
If we are ever on a game show. And the word to guess is “Trap”. And you say “booby”. Just know that I will laugh. And laugh, and laugh and laugh. And then laugh some more.
January 12, 2025 at 11:55 PM
If we are ever on a game show. And the word to guess is “Trap”. And you say “booby”. Just know that I will laugh. And laugh, and laugh and laugh. And then laugh some more.
Jehovah’s witnesses protection program
January 12, 2025 at 6:40 AM
Jehovah’s witnesses protection program