“Hot Dogs for Good Bangs” has gotta be the most clever slogan I’ve heard as someone with bangs walking by a random hotdog stand at almost 1am

They edited Doechi’s song Anxiety to not say homo on the radio but they kept sex tape and maybe im late to the party but is this new cause wtf

Just discovered a new mental health hack it’s called drinking water follow me for more tips

I’m going to *metaphorically* hold your hand when I say this (because you got a little ‘tism in ya and I know how you hate physical touch)

True love is contorting my body in bed to fit around my cat who of course chose the exact center of the mattress to fall asleep

I’ll take “ways to stick your own foot in your mouth” for 1000 Alex

I’m not the right kind of funny for these kinds of apps someone bring back tumblr so I can be on my emo shit

My ability to bring entertaining dramatics to a mundane text exchange would have you begging to be in a groupchat with me