Sarah Philip Ray
@sarahdiculous42.bsky.social
AuDHD. Science fiction writer. Sociologist. PhD Candidate. Social Movement Scholar. Leftist af. Chaotic Good. Not dishwasher safe. She/her. 🏳️⚧️
Pinned
I keep my bluesky account pretty secret so that I have a place to talk about my transition without fear that my family will find out before I’m ready.
But I really want to tell everyone. It’s one of the most exciting things in my entire life and I want to SHOUT about it. One day 😊
But I really want to tell everyone. It’s one of the most exciting things in my entire life and I want to SHOUT about it. One day 😊
Starting the first full year of me as Sarah. So excited to see what this year has in store!
January 1, 2026 at 5:20 AM
Starting the first full year of me as Sarah. So excited to see what this year has in store!
Every previous Christmas, my father-in-law has put things like “Dude Wipes” and “Man Soap” in my stocking, so this Christmas, I was praying that I wouldn’t find those things in my stocking.
They weren’t there! I was so excited! A silly thing to be excited about, I know, but still 😊
They weren’t there! I was so excited! A silly thing to be excited about, I know, but still 😊
December 26, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Every previous Christmas, my father-in-law has put things like “Dude Wipes” and “Man Soap” in my stocking, so this Christmas, I was praying that I wouldn’t find those things in my stocking.
They weren’t there! I was so excited! A silly thing to be excited about, I know, but still 😊
They weren’t there! I was so excited! A silly thing to be excited about, I know, but still 😊
All of my coworkers unfollowed and unfriended me on social media the day after my last day and I’m sitting here freaking out wondering if they did this bc they hate me or to distance themselves from me in order to protect the department from further scrutiny.
December 23, 2025 at 5:17 PM
All of my coworkers unfollowed and unfriended me on social media the day after my last day and I’m sitting here freaking out wondering if they did this bc they hate me or to distance themselves from me in order to protect the department from further scrutiny.
You go your entire life building up an immunity to the intrusive thoughts that tell you your friends secretly hate you. Then it actually turns out to be true for a few of them and suddenly all that immunity crumbles to dust and you’re back to obsessing about it all over again. Fuck my life.
December 20, 2025 at 5:47 PM
You go your entire life building up an immunity to the intrusive thoughts that tell you your friends secretly hate you. Then it actually turns out to be true for a few of them and suddenly all that immunity crumbles to dust and you’re back to obsessing about it all over again. Fuck my life.
My toxic trait is that I will befriend someone and then immediately start saving the most loving, encouraging, all-around nice-as-fuck memes to send them once our friendship has progressed to the appropriate point where those memes wouldn’t come across as weird.
December 18, 2025 at 1:26 AM
My toxic trait is that I will befriend someone and then immediately start saving the most loving, encouraging, all-around nice-as-fuck memes to send them once our friendship has progressed to the appropriate point where those memes wouldn’t come across as weird.
Getting dressed this morning. Put on my t-shirt. Wife looks and me and says, "Babe, I think it might be time for a training bra".
Me rn:
Me rn:
a man in a blue shirt is standing in front of a crowd
ALT: a man in a blue shirt is standing in front of a crowd
media.tenor.com
December 15, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Getting dressed this morning. Put on my t-shirt. Wife looks and me and says, "Babe, I think it might be time for a training bra".
Me rn:
Me rn:
The other night I put on a pretty skirt and danced in the kitchen to Lady Gaga’s “How Bad Do U Want Me” and felt sexy for the first time in my entire fucking life.
December 11, 2025 at 12:14 AM
The other night I put on a pretty skirt and danced in the kitchen to Lady Gaga’s “How Bad Do U Want Me” and felt sexy for the first time in my entire fucking life.
Sometimes a person comes into your life in such a profound way that it feels like the universe has come to a halt and slapped you in the face to make you pay attention. It happens rarely, but when it does, I try to follow the flow and see where the universe is directing me.
December 10, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Sometimes a person comes into your life in such a profound way that it feels like the universe has come to a halt and slapped you in the face to make you pay attention. It happens rarely, but when it does, I try to follow the flow and see where the universe is directing me.
Shortly after this, I finally started wearing feminine clothes. Now I can’t get enough of it. When I’m out of the house I can’t wait to go home and put on a skirt. I can’t wait to go actual clothes shopping!
But at the same time it feels like I still have so much left to do. I’m not happy with how often I try makeup. I still haven’t tried wearing feminine clothing. I’m not out socially, or to my mom and dad. I’m still struggling with internalized transphobia (why I’m scared to try clothes).
December 8, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Shortly after this, I finally started wearing feminine clothes. Now I can’t get enough of it. When I’m out of the house I can’t wait to go home and put on a skirt. I can’t wait to go actual clothes shopping!
The period after making a new friend is wild bc there’s the excitement of getting to know the new friend while also panicking that you said or did something to scare them off whenever they don’t respond to a text immediately. Is this just me? 😆
December 2, 2025 at 3:51 PM
The period after making a new friend is wild bc there’s the excitement of getting to know the new friend while also panicking that you said or did something to scare them off whenever they don’t respond to a text immediately. Is this just me? 😆
What really depresses me is that if I had been AFAB, I would have lived my life knowing I was a lesbian and hating myself for it. So I probably would have married a man really young and had kids and just been miserable until I was 40 and had enough and left my husband for another woman.
November 30, 2025 at 4:52 AM
What really depresses me is that if I had been AFAB, I would have lived my life knowing I was a lesbian and hating myself for it. So I probably would have married a man really young and had kids and just been miserable until I was 40 and had enough and left my husband for another woman.
I’m still not sexually attracted to men, but there are some men who talk to me and I get a little flutter in my chest. Dunno what that’s about but I’m sure it’s nothing.
November 28, 2025 at 10:35 PM
I’m still not sexually attracted to men, but there are some men who talk to me and I get a little flutter in my chest. Dunno what that’s about but I’m sure it’s nothing.
It’s only a couple more months until I come out to my parents and I still have no idea what to say.
November 28, 2025 at 10:07 PM
It’s only a couple more months until I come out to my parents and I still have no idea what to say.
I’ve made a few girlfriends lately and it’s made me so happy. But I’ve been struggling to navigate the “women’s friendship” bc I’ve been socialized as a man. I say something nice to them and I’m immediately fearful that they’ll interpret it as flirting.
November 24, 2025 at 7:37 PM
I’ve made a few girlfriends lately and it’s made me so happy. But I’ve been struggling to navigate the “women’s friendship” bc I’ve been socialized as a man. I say something nice to them and I’m immediately fearful that they’ll interpret it as flirting.
One of the unexpected results of hrt is that now I only need to shower every other day. I used to be obsessive about showering. I was so oily. Sometimes I feel like shower twice a day. But now it’s nice to no longer be so oily lol
November 24, 2025 at 4:29 PM
One of the unexpected results of hrt is that now I only need to shower every other day. I used to be obsessive about showering. I was so oily. Sometimes I feel like shower twice a day. But now it’s nice to no longer be so oily lol
It’s funny how for years I was like, “If a witch turned me into a woman, I wouldn’t be that upset. I’d just be annoyed that I now have to figure out makeup.”
And yet it still didn’t click for me 😆
And yet it still didn’t click for me 😆
November 17, 2025 at 11:11 PM
It’s funny how for years I was like, “If a witch turned me into a woman, I wouldn’t be that upset. I’d just be annoyed that I now have to figure out makeup.”
And yet it still didn’t click for me 😆
And yet it still didn’t click for me 😆
I’m so tired of living in the closet.
Only a few more months.
Only a few more months.
November 14, 2025 at 9:09 PM
I’m so tired of living in the closet.
Only a few more months.
Only a few more months.
I think this is going to be my first tattoo. I’m going to get it on my right forearm. It’s Hecate’s Wheel. It symbolizes rebirth, transition, and transformation. Hecate is my favorite Greek goddess.
November 14, 2025 at 4:15 PM
I think this is going to be my first tattoo. I’m going to get it on my right forearm. It’s Hecate’s Wheel. It symbolizes rebirth, transition, and transformation. Hecate is my favorite Greek goddess.
It’s wild that I’m constantly worried I will make an ugly trans girl, because I personally find EVERY single trans woman GORGEOUS. No exceptions. Even the clocky ones.
So I know I shouldn’t be scared.
So I know I shouldn’t be scared.
November 10, 2025 at 5:41 PM
It’s wild that I’m constantly worried I will make an ugly trans girl, because I personally find EVERY single trans woman GORGEOUS. No exceptions. Even the clocky ones.
So I know I shouldn’t be scared.
So I know I shouldn’t be scared.
One of the interesting things about Hades II is that it is showing me that I actually do have the capacity to be attracted to men. But I have a very specific type. Moros and Icarus are really doing it for me.
November 6, 2025 at 5:05 PM
One of the interesting things about Hades II is that it is showing me that I actually do have the capacity to be attracted to men. But I have a very specific type. Moros and Icarus are really doing it for me.
At this point it has been a year since my egg cracked. I vividly remember the conversation I had with my wife when I told her I may not be cis. I vividly remember the moment I saw a before/after post from one of my fav trans women on threads and thought, “I want this more than anything.”
November 3, 2025 at 12:23 AM
At this point it has been a year since my egg cracked. I vividly remember the conversation I had with my wife when I told her I may not be cis. I vividly remember the moment I saw a before/after post from one of my fav trans women on threads and thought, “I want this more than anything.”
Paris Gellar is very transbian coded and I am angery that Gilmore Girls did not capitalize on this vibe.
November 1, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Paris Gellar is very transbian coded and I am angery that Gilmore Girls did not capitalize on this vibe.
I have moments of anger toward my mom, so intense that I want to cut off all contact. But then I get moments where I am just overcome with love for her despite everything. It's hard navigating these feelings.
October 31, 2025 at 1:59 PM
I have moments of anger toward my mom, so intense that I want to cut off all contact. But then I get moments where I am just overcome with love for her despite everything. It's hard navigating these feelings.
Yes I am doing a rewatch of Gilmore Girls Yes it is the first rewatch since transitioning Yes it is speaking directly to my precious trans girl soul Yes it is therapy.
October 28, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Yes I am doing a rewatch of Gilmore Girls Yes it is the first rewatch since transitioning Yes it is speaking directly to my precious trans girl soul Yes it is therapy.
Sometimes I think fuck it, I’ll come out right now and my parents can deal with it. I’m just tired of living in the closet. I’m tired of keeping myself from the world. Why am I adhering to this arbitrary timeline anyway?
October 22, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Sometimes I think fuck it, I’ll come out right now and my parents can deal with it. I’m just tired of living in the closet. I’m tired of keeping myself from the world. Why am I adhering to this arbitrary timeline anyway?