Sarah Hass
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sarahhass.bsky.social
Sarah Hass
@sarahhass.bsky.social
Playing the violin, competitive swimming, and coin collecting are all things I have decided not to pursue
I won’t be mad if you text in the group chain before texting me back. But I see it. I see it.
May 14, 2023 at 3:34 PM
whenever a computer program crashes and asks if you want to report or ignore it, I always click “ignore” because I’m not a narc
May 13, 2023 at 4:30 PM
oh sorry when I said “I’m open to feedback” I meant you could give me a compliment
May 12, 2023 at 7:00 PM
my therapist wants me to get in the habit of waking up, meditating, and writing down 5 things I’m grateful for in a journal. so every day I wake up, have a mild panic attack, and write “that I didn't have social media in high school” in my gratitude journal
May 11, 2023 at 7:30 PM
they show us what happens before the Met Gala

they show us what happens after the Met Gala

but what exactly happens during the Met Gala?
May 2, 2023 at 6:25 PM
my celebrity recognition rate for the Met Gala is 1 in 9, and it's only that good due to the sheer number of Kardashians
May 2, 2023 at 12:56 AM
every Friday we ask our friends “how was your week?” and everyone says “ugh I need a new job” and we say “omg me too” and we all laugh and then every Monday we go back to work to suffer again
May 1, 2023 at 1:58 AM
whenever I can’t think of the definition of a word I say “you know it’s like…” and then a bunch of sounds and arm movements and hope people still get what ‘alacrity’ means
April 30, 2023 at 8:44 PM
someone really thought “this would be a nice sweatshirt for kids to wear on their first day of camp”
April 30, 2023 at 1:07 AM
going to sleep is a lot like fishing, you try to be very still and patient but then your phone rings and scares away all the sleep and you’ll never get back that peaceful moment
April 29, 2023 at 6:57 PM
me: good thing I'm listening to this podcast on 1.5x speed to save time

also me: dammit I wasn't paying attention again, back to the beginning
April 28, 2023 at 5:19 PM
googling how fast I can get in shape for hot girl summer like:

- “30 day workout routine”
- “two week shredded challenge”
- “abs one week”
- “abs one week 7 min video”
- “does taco bell have a reduced fat crunchwrap supreme”
April 28, 2023 at 3:19 PM
I know I’m almost 40 because I brought a mock turtleneck and pants to Vegas and those are the most clothes I have ever worn in Vegas
April 28, 2023 at 3:17 PM
I know it’s not good but sometimes not brushing my teeth at night is like a little treat
April 28, 2023 at 2:52 PM
are you even sunburned if someone doesn’t say “looks like you got some sun, huh”
April 28, 2023 at 2:43 PM
thought this guy was hitting on me when he asked for my email, like ok guess we’re at the age where exchange emails instead of numbers now, but then got a “New Listing!” email and realized he subscribed me to his real estate newsletter. thinking I can afford an SF condo is actually a huge compliment
April 18, 2023 at 3:09 PM
I can’t remember if jogging on a treadmill or pavement is worse for your knees so I just stay away from both for my health
April 17, 2023 at 7:14 PM
when you’re traveling solo, are your friends texting because they’re genuinely interested in your wellbeing or are they nervous if you disappeared the police would be like, you’re a bad friend
April 14, 2023 at 12:20 AM
living that PJ life

as in I didn’t have to separate my electronics in the TSA security line, nice
April 12, 2023 at 3:57 PM
why do some people look so cool wearing clear glasses but I look like I’m about to mix unknown sample B over a bunsen burner
April 11, 2023 at 9:55 PM