Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Doug Savage

@savagechickens.bsky.social

2.5K followers 180 following 620 posts

I'm the creator of Savage Chickens, and Laser Moose & Rabbit Boy.

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 23h

Dog Psychologist. www.patreon.com/posts/dog-ps...

Dog on therapist couch: "Sometimes I just feel like life is pointless."
Dog psychologist: "Have you been chasing your tail again?"

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 2d

Blob Smile. www.patreon.com/posts/blob-s...

Title: Melancholy Blob
A sad-looking blob sits around. "I rarely smile."
"When I do, people can tell that something's a bit off."
"They ask me if I got a haircut."

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 2d

Breath Spray. www.patreon.com/posts/breath...

Panel 1. Dog spraying breath spray into their mouth.
Panel 2. Dog breathing on cat. Cat: "Ew."
Panel 3. Close-up of breath spray label: "Authentic Dog Breath Smell"

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 6d

Empathy. www.patreon.com/posts/empath...

In the background, a chicken consoles a sad chicken. In the foreground, a grumpy chicken says "Empathy? What's in it for me?"

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 7d

Office Thief. www.patreon.com/posts/office...

A panda bear is looking into the office fridge, "Seriously? Somebody ate my bamboo sandwich?"

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 7d

Bad Habit. www.patreon.com/posts/bad-ha...

A chicken is at a bar with Timmy Tofu, who seems quite drunk and has several empty beer mugs in front of him. Timmy says, "It's not so much a bad habit as it is a natural adaptation to a world filled with problems and alcohol."

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 8d

Slithering. www.patreon.com/posts/slithe...

Four snakes in conversation.
Snake 1: "I'm just saying, "slithering" sounds kinda gross..."
Snake 2: "It's better than "wriggling".
Snake 3: "Is it, though?"
Snake 4: "Can't we just call it "snake-walking"?"
Caption: Quarterly Meeting of the Association of Snake Lexicologists

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 9d

Secrets of Business Success 3. www.patreon.com/posts/secret...

Chicken reads a book: "Secrets of Business Success"
View of book contents: "Chapter 3: Take, Take, Take!"

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 12d

Robocat User's Guide. www.patreon.com/posts/roboca...

Title: Robocat User's Guide
1. Sleep mode. (Robocat sleeps. A fly flies by.)
2. Alert notification. (Robocat notices the fly: "MEOW!"
3. Debug mode. (Robocat tries to catch the fly.
4. Upload. (Robocat eats the fly. Nomnomnom.)
5. Download. (Robocat vomits out dozens of flies. Bleck!)

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 13d

Nice Try. www.patreon.com/posts/nice-t...

Two chickens drinking coffee at the kitchen table. One holds up a list. The other says, "A list of pizzerias is NOT a meal plan."

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 14d

Bigger. www.patreon.com/posts/bigger...

Caption: Dream big.
A chicken says "I want a promotion!"
Caption: Bigger.
A chicken in a suit says "I want a fancy corner office!"
Caption: Bigger!
A chicken in a corner office says "I want to understand that all of this is inherently meaningless!"

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 15d

Noise Complaint. www.patreon.com/posts/noise-...

Chicken 1: You just don't understand my music, man...
Chicken 2: "Music"? You only know how to play the airhorn!

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 16d

Curious. www.patreon.com/posts/curiou...

There's a knock at the door. A chicken introduces themselves: "Hi, I'm your upstairs neighbor. I just came down here to see if you were really a moron or if you just sound like one."

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 19d

Another One. www.patreon.com/posts/anothe...

Captain Hook Chicken and Smee Chicken. Smee is holding something and says, "Another doily? Uh... thanks..."
Caption: "Captain Crochet Hook"

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 20d

Pirate Training. www.patreon.com/posts/pirate...

Pirate Captain points at a Venn diagram being displayed on a screen. The other pirate chicken says, "Ar! It be a fine PowerPoint, but I still don't understand the difference between "plundering" and "pillaging"."

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 21d

Left Behind. www.patreon.com/posts/left-b...

A pirate chicken watches from land as a pirate ship sails away. The pirate chicken says "FOMOYOHOHO*"
*fear of missing out on being a pirate

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 22d

Grassroots. www.patreon.com/posts/grassr...

Two pirate chickens with swords surround the pirate captain. One says "We prefer to think of it as a grassroots leadership initiative!"
Caption: "Mutiny" sounds so negative.

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 23d

Short Walk. www.patreon.com/posts/short-...

Captain Chicken points a sword at Eyepatch Chicken, who stands on a small board at the edge of the ship.
Captain Chicken explains: "To improve efficiency, we installed a short plank!"

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 26d

Better Life. www.patreon.com/posts/better...

Two chickens, drinking beer. One says: "When life is at its worst, this means that things can only get better."
The other scruffier-looking chicken says "Or that you were wrong about it being at its worst."

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 27d

No Art Critic. www.patreon.com/posts/no-art...

An artist chicken paints at an easel. An onlooking chicken offers some helpful advice: "I'm no art critic, but maybe if you use less brown paint it will look less like a turd?"

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 28d

Employee of the Month. www.patreon.com/posts/employ...

Chicken working in a cubicle. Another chicken leans in: "Congratulations! You're the Employee of the Month!"
"And now you must fight the previous Employee of the Month. To the death!" A very large chicken has appeared, and the other cubicle dwellers are chanting Fight! Fight!

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · 29d

Conspiring Minds. www.patreon.com/posts/conspi...

Two chickens drinking wine. One says, adamantly, "I'm no conspiracy theorist, but [insert insane conspiracy theory]."

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · Sep 8

Strength and Weakness. www.patreon.com/posts/streng...

Chicken in an interview.
Interviewer: What's your greatest strength?
Candidate: My honesty.
Interviewer: And your greatest weakness?
Candidate: I'm extremely incompetent!

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · Sep 5

Smoky. www.patreon.com/posts/smoky-...

Chicken looks out window at smoke cloud: "Ugh! This smoky air pollution is stressing me out!"
Chicken sits and relaxes: "Time to relax and put on some soothing incense."
A plume of incense smoke fills the air.

Doug Savage @savagechickens.bsky.social · Sep 4

Mayflies. www.patreon.com/posts/mayfli...

A winged insect is watching TV and another one is yelling, "What is wrong with you?"
Caption: "Because mayflies have a one-day lifespan, you don't meet very many procrastinating mayflies."