Stephen B. Bagley
@sbb513.bsky.social
Wrote Floozy Goes Forth, Murder by the Acre, Floozy Comes Back, Tales from Bethlehem, Floozy And Other Stories, Murder by Dewey Decimal, etc. Love computers, trains, Godzilla, mysteries, Oklahoma State University. Member Cherokee Nation, OWFI, Prosateurs.
I brewed my own root beer. The supplier said it tasted so good, you didn't need sugar. I had to add a sweetener. Even then, that root beer was strong. Grow hair on your eyeballs, it would. Now use my SodaStream and make carbonated water to use. Why make root beer? Well, why not?
May 21, 2025 at 10:22 PM
I brewed my own root beer. The supplier said it tasted so good, you didn't need sugar. I had to add a sweetener. Even then, that root beer was strong. Grow hair on your eyeballs, it would. Now use my SodaStream and make carbonated water to use. Why make root beer? Well, why not?
I want life to slow down. I want time to read, play, nap, and snack on cookies and milk. Apparently, I want to go back to kindergarten. And I want to go now.
May 17, 2025 at 7:43 PM
I want life to slow down. I want time to read, play, nap, and snack on cookies and milk. Apparently, I want to go back to kindergarten. And I want to go now.
You know, I don't get enough credit for my forbearance and not throat-punching the people who deserve it throughout my day.
May 8, 2025 at 10:22 PM
You know, I don't get enough credit for my forbearance and not throat-punching the people who deserve it throughout my day.
A friend of mine says she's always sincere. That must be a terrible way to live. I find insincerity and sarcasm are quite helpful in many situations.
May 8, 2025 at 10:21 PM
A friend of mine says she's always sincere. That must be a terrible way to live. I find insincerity and sarcasm are quite helpful in many situations.
I like older people because they've weathered life's wild storms and crazy disappointments. So they're going to take me in stride. 😉
May 8, 2025 at 10:21 PM
I like older people because they've weathered life's wild storms and crazy disappointments. So they're going to take me in stride. 😉
When you're discouraged, I want you to remember that somewhere out there is someone who is thinking of you and how you have enriched their life. Not me, of course, but there's someone out there who feels that way about you. Just not me.
May 8, 2025 at 10:20 PM
When you're discouraged, I want you to remember that somewhere out there is someone who is thinking of you and how you have enriched their life. Not me, of course, but there's someone out there who feels that way about you. Just not me.
I want to walk so that I can be healthy. And when I do, I will take a taco with me because let's be honest about who we're dealing with here.
May 8, 2025 at 10:20 PM
I want to walk so that I can be healthy. And when I do, I will take a taco with me because let's be honest about who we're dealing with here.
So...a friend asked me why I didn't put forth Mothra as a candidate for Pope, and I, quite seriously, said the Catholic Church didn't allow female priests, so they wouldn't select a female pope. I don't know why that was so funny. Still baffled.
May 8, 2025 at 10:20 PM
So...a friend asked me why I didn't put forth Mothra as a candidate for Pope, and I, quite seriously, said the Catholic Church didn't allow female priests, so they wouldn't select a female pope. I don't know why that was so funny. Still baffled.
A friend of mine says she's always sincere. That must be a terrible way to live. I find insincerity and sarcasm are quite helpful in many situations.
May 5, 2025 at 7:19 PM
A friend of mine says she's always sincere. That must be a terrible way to live. I find insincerity and sarcasm are quite helpful in many situations.
I wouldn't kill for a diet Dr Pepper, let's make that completely clear, but a bit of minor maiming ... maybe ... depends on whether it had crushed ice or not.
April 21, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I wouldn't kill for a diet Dr Pepper, let's make that completely clear, but a bit of minor maiming ... maybe ... depends on whether it had crushed ice or not.
I don't drink coffee to survive other people. I drink coffee so other people can survive me.
March 16, 2025 at 4:48 AM
I don't drink coffee to survive other people. I drink coffee so other people can survive me.
Some lines in the song are so horribly wise and desperately hopeful that they break parts of my heart.
"...the horizon is all we have..."
youtu.be/Y84AZVdDFMs?...
"...the horizon is all we have..."
youtu.be/Y84AZVdDFMs?...
Islands
YouTube video by Sara Bareilles - Topic
youtu.be
March 11, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Some lines in the song are so horribly wise and desperately hopeful that they break parts of my heart.
"...the horizon is all we have..."
youtu.be/Y84AZVdDFMs?...
"...the horizon is all we have..."
youtu.be/Y84AZVdDFMs?...
It was Pastor Bob’s birthday, so his congregation decided to give him a new, beautiful, expensive suit.
Pastor Bob was overwhelmed in gratitude.
The following Sunday he stood before the congregation, and with tears in his eyes, announced, “Today I will be preaching to you in my birthday suit.”
Pastor Bob was overwhelmed in gratitude.
The following Sunday he stood before the congregation, and with tears in his eyes, announced, “Today I will be preaching to you in my birthday suit.”
March 11, 2025 at 12:54 AM
It was Pastor Bob’s birthday, so his congregation decided to give him a new, beautiful, expensive suit.
Pastor Bob was overwhelmed in gratitude.
The following Sunday he stood before the congregation, and with tears in his eyes, announced, “Today I will be preaching to you in my birthday suit.”
Pastor Bob was overwhelmed in gratitude.
The following Sunday he stood before the congregation, and with tears in his eyes, announced, “Today I will be preaching to you in my birthday suit.”
"But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows." ~ Luke 12:7.
Comparing the value of sparrows to humans, they are quarrelsome, greedy, and lustfully stupid. Sparrows, on the other hand, seem nice, but I don’t know much about them.
Comparing the value of sparrows to humans, they are quarrelsome, greedy, and lustfully stupid. Sparrows, on the other hand, seem nice, but I don’t know much about them.
March 11, 2025 at 12:53 AM
"But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows." ~ Luke 12:7.
Comparing the value of sparrows to humans, they are quarrelsome, greedy, and lustfully stupid. Sparrows, on the other hand, seem nice, but I don’t know much about them.
Comparing the value of sparrows to humans, they are quarrelsome, greedy, and lustfully stupid. Sparrows, on the other hand, seem nice, but I don’t know much about them.
A particular person--for whatever reason--keeps trying to put me in my place. You can do that, you know. But trust me, I won't stay there long, and I will show up in all sorts of places afterward.
March 11, 2025 at 12:52 AM
A particular person--for whatever reason--keeps trying to put me in my place. You can do that, you know. But trust me, I won't stay there long, and I will show up in all sorts of places afterward.
BUMPER STICKERS
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
It's a good thing that I have the Internet instead of having to spend years in medical school.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
It's a good thing that I have the Internet instead of having to spend years in medical school.
February 7, 2025 at 10:58 PM
BUMPER STICKERS
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
It's a good thing that I have the Internet instead of having to spend years in medical school.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
It's a good thing that I have the Internet instead of having to spend years in medical school.
BUMPER STICKERS
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right—only who is left.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right—only who is left.
February 7, 2025 at 10:57 PM
BUMPER STICKERS
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right—only who is left.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right—only who is left.
Dear Winter,
Yes, you are cold. You have impressed us with your cold. Everyone is talking about how cold you are. You've made your point about your coldness. You're cold, cold, cold.
But now impress us with your warmth. Don't let Spring get all our love.
Shivering,
Me
Yes, you are cold. You have impressed us with your cold. Everyone is talking about how cold you are. You've made your point about your coldness. You're cold, cold, cold.
But now impress us with your warmth. Don't let Spring get all our love.
Shivering,
Me
January 21, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Dear Winter,
Yes, you are cold. You have impressed us with your cold. Everyone is talking about how cold you are. You've made your point about your coldness. You're cold, cold, cold.
But now impress us with your warmth. Don't let Spring get all our love.
Shivering,
Me
Yes, you are cold. You have impressed us with your cold. Everyone is talking about how cold you are. You've made your point about your coldness. You're cold, cold, cold.
But now impress us with your warmth. Don't let Spring get all our love.
Shivering,
Me
When I was a kid in school, my teacher was telling us how she didn't date much when she was younger.
Before I thought, I asked, "Was it because you were mean then, too?"
Yes, I got paddled.
Which, I think, proved my point about her meanness.
Before I thought, I asked, "Was it because you were mean then, too?"
Yes, I got paddled.
Which, I think, proved my point about her meanness.
January 21, 2025 at 10:04 PM
When I was a kid in school, my teacher was telling us how she didn't date much when she was younger.
Before I thought, I asked, "Was it because you were mean then, too?"
Yes, I got paddled.
Which, I think, proved my point about her meanness.
Before I thought, I asked, "Was it because you were mean then, too?"
Yes, I got paddled.
Which, I think, proved my point about her meanness.
Dieting is a struggle. When I look at a piece of chocolate pie, I hear two voices in my head.
The first voice says, "Eat the pie."
And then the second voice says, "You heard the first voice. Eat the pie already. Add whipped cream."
The first voice says, "Eat the pie."
And then the second voice says, "You heard the first voice. Eat the pie already. Add whipped cream."
January 21, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Dieting is a struggle. When I look at a piece of chocolate pie, I hear two voices in my head.
The first voice says, "Eat the pie."
And then the second voice says, "You heard the first voice. Eat the pie already. Add whipped cream."
The first voice says, "Eat the pie."
And then the second voice says, "You heard the first voice. Eat the pie already. Add whipped cream."
Life Tip: Forgiveness is a renewable resource that could change the world. Forgive other people if you can. Mind you, if they have done something heinous, take up with the authorities with all godspeed. Otherwise, don't let them live in your head. They'll trash the place and never pay rent.
January 15, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Life Tip: Forgiveness is a renewable resource that could change the world. Forgive other people if you can. Mind you, if they have done something heinous, take up with the authorities with all godspeed. Otherwise, don't let them live in your head. They'll trash the place and never pay rent.
Life Tip: Never trust anyone who won't forgive another person for a slight. If you cross them, they won't forgive you, either.
January 15, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Life Tip: Never trust anyone who won't forgive another person for a slight. If you cross them, they won't forgive you, either.
Sometimes, the first step toward forgiveness is to recognize that the other person is a nincompoop, will always be a nincompoop, can only do nincompoop actions, will only say nincompoop things, and is probably doing the best a nincompoop can do with their limited nincompoop capacities, bless 'em.
January 14, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Sometimes, the first step toward forgiveness is to recognize that the other person is a nincompoop, will always be a nincompoop, can only do nincompoop actions, will only say nincompoop things, and is probably doing the best a nincompoop can do with their limited nincompoop capacities, bless 'em.
Life Tip: A simple "I apologize for hurting your feelings" is better than a long explanation/justification. The latter says "I'm sorry you got upset by the correct thing I said." The former doesn't mean you're wrong; it just says you're sympathetic to their hurt and that was not your intention.
January 14, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Life Tip: A simple "I apologize for hurting your feelings" is better than a long explanation/justification. The latter says "I'm sorry you got upset by the correct thing I said." The former doesn't mean you're wrong; it just says you're sympathetic to their hurt and that was not your intention.
A friend of mine--who is self-admittedly a bit critical of life--was challenged by his wife to go a day without criticizing anything.
"So how long did you go?" I asked.
He sighed. "I immediately said I didn't think it was a good idea."
He's going to have to work on that.
"So how long did you go?" I asked.
He sighed. "I immediately said I didn't think it was a good idea."
He's going to have to work on that.
January 14, 2025 at 5:11 AM
A friend of mine--who is self-admittedly a bit critical of life--was challenged by his wife to go a day without criticizing anything.
"So how long did you go?" I asked.
He sighed. "I immediately said I didn't think it was a good idea."
He's going to have to work on that.
"So how long did you go?" I asked.
He sighed. "I immediately said I didn't think it was a good idea."
He's going to have to work on that.