Gwen Rhodes
@scatteredshots.bsky.social
Software engineer, aspiring author, tired of watching the world burn
I'm going to write a book consisting entirely of punctuation. It's going to be a period piece.
December 26, 2025 at 10:04 PM
I'm going to write a book consisting entirely of punctuation. It's going to be a period piece.
All I want for Christmas is cheeeeeese
December 26, 2025 at 1:55 AM
All I want for Christmas is cheeeeeese
Don't deep fry your fingers, kids.
Also probably don't drop fry your finger's kids if that's relevant to you.
Also probably don't drop fry your finger's kids if that's relevant to you.
December 25, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Don't deep fry your fingers, kids.
Also probably don't drop fry your finger's kids if that's relevant to you.
Also probably don't drop fry your finger's kids if that's relevant to you.
Hot dog water...
December 25, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Hot dog water...
I've been labelled a propaganda pusher. Who wants to hear about pizza ball propaganda?
December 23, 2025 at 12:24 AM
I've been labelled a propaganda pusher. Who wants to hear about pizza ball propaganda?
When your seven year old wants pizza balls for breakfast, you get up and start making dough (after multiple clarifying questions to figure out what a pizza ball should be).
December 22, 2025 at 5:14 PM
When your seven year old wants pizza balls for breakfast, you get up and start making dough (after multiple clarifying questions to figure out what a pizza ball should be).
The Grinch Wears Prada
She’s Just Not That Into Grinch
We Grinched A Zoo
December 19, 2025 at 4:49 AM
The Grinch Wears Prada
There's nothing quite so heartwarming as when I tuck my son in at night and tell him that I love him to have him reply "okay" and reach for his phone.
December 18, 2025 at 2:34 AM
There's nothing quite so heartwarming as when I tuck my son in at night and tell him that I love him to have him reply "okay" and reach for his phone.
This morning when waking up my son he immediately hits me with "It's time for YOU to wake up".
I've been countered.
I've been countered.
December 17, 2025 at 2:45 PM
This morning when waking up my son he immediately hits me with "It's time for YOU to wake up".
I've been countered.
I've been countered.
Sometimes shaving products make my skin numb and I don't know if that's a bug or a feature.
December 17, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Sometimes shaving products make my skin numb and I don't know if that's a bug or a feature.
It's not really the holidays until you have to tell a family member to stop eating the tree
December 14, 2025 at 7:10 PM
It's not really the holidays until you have to tell a family member to stop eating the tree
There's nothing like the satisfaction of having a nice clean house and knowing that you only have to maintain it for the rest of your life.
December 10, 2025 at 3:37 PM
There's nothing like the satisfaction of having a nice clean house and knowing that you only have to maintain it for the rest of your life.
Spirals make me happy because they remind me of my mental state and also of ham.
December 8, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Spirals make me happy because they remind me of my mental state and also of ham.
They hate each other but during nap time it's okay for their butts to touch.
December 7, 2025 at 1:37 AM
They hate each other but during nap time it's okay for their butts to touch.
I'm getting ads for RuneScape. What year is it?
December 5, 2025 at 10:12 PM
I'm getting ads for RuneScape. What year is it?
Our first winter weather has been very delayed here in Colorado and while this is concerning for some I find it wholly appropriate that this year even mother nature is saying "Fuck ICE".
November 25, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Our first winter weather has been very delayed here in Colorado and while this is concerning for some I find it wholly appropriate that this year even mother nature is saying "Fuck ICE".
You can't convince me that human laps didn't evolve to be intentionally cat shaped.
November 14, 2025 at 5:01 PM
You can't convince me that human laps didn't evolve to be intentionally cat shaped.
The normal amount of pain is some.
November 13, 2025 at 1:37 AM
The normal amount of pain is some.
Have you ever eaten something so good that you just don't want any other flavor in your mouth after?
October 12, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Have you ever eaten something so good that you just don't want any other flavor in your mouth after?
Having fully functional vision is overrated and my head hurts.
October 4, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Having fully functional vision is overrated and my head hurts.
Just a cat and his emotional support shoe.
July 16, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Just a cat and his emotional support shoe.
It's a special kind of disappointing to get a job rejection from a company whose email template and website look like they were made in 1998 by someone with a penchant for clip art.
July 5, 2025 at 2:42 PM
It's a special kind of disappointing to get a job rejection from a company whose email template and website look like they were made in 1998 by someone with a penchant for clip art.
Well that pretty much sums up how good I am at habits.
June 29, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Well that pretty much sums up how good I am at habits.
I'm the reason why I can't have nice things and I have no intention of stopping.
June 19, 2025 at 2:25 PM
I'm the reason why I can't have nice things and I have no intention of stopping.