hmmmm i think the reason i stop interacting with other peoples posts and only yap by myself whenever i feel like shit is that i cannot possibly be annoying others if They were the ones who interacted with Me first instead of the other way around

gotta love the imposter syndrome kicking in at random for no reason

hoping really hard that today is just a bad day and its not the depression getting stronger or the hyperfixation fading

not sure if this is the place to yap about this but

anyone else completely shut down when your privacy isnt respected even if its "not that big a deal" technically and start feeling unsafe and constantly watched in your own space

i fear i yap too much

could the two demons on my shoulders at least come to an agreement?? DAMN
wanna make me feel bad for being annoying and talking too much? alr thats fine
wanna make me feel guilty for forgetting to respond to stuff and not always reading everything people post? okay sure
BUT NOT BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

ok this is it im finally starting the long difficult hardship of getting up
pray for me

this sucks im too feely weird to appreciate hualian stuff
i cant let myself interact with it until tomorrow :) only post-shower has-actually-slept me can have hualian

i love how my body and brain sometimes just decide im not capable of getting up for absolutely no reason at all thats so fun

fuck it im activating the alt

now i cant feel guilty about being annoying bc if you are here its ur own fault not mine