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Lindsey Odom

@sciurusdrey.bsky.social

1K followers 380 following 1.3K posts

She/Her - Living with Narcolepsy • DSPD • AuDHD • EDS • POTS • OCD • ??? • Yapping about MTG, D&D, cats, squirrels, chronic illness (obviously) and more - Chief of Staff @ The Anti-Boring Project + @DaniDonovan ’s Hobbit in Residence

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · Jul 29

EVERYONE AT THE FARMER’S MARKET VERY RECENTLY LEARNED ABOUT MAGIC THE GATHERING FOR SQUIRREL-THEMED REASONS AND DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE I SCREECHED LOUDLY ENOUGH TO SUMMON EVERY DOG IN A 3-MILE RADIUS WHEN I GOT THIS BACK FROM @artofandregarcia.com

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 21h

Running out of time is such a mood. It looks incredible regardless—you did an amazing job.

Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 1d

Oh my gosh this looks AMAZING

Did you order a custom printed suit or is that a standard pattern one? I’m getting more and more determined to get a Sun Spider suit custom printed

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 1d

I probably will message you at some point; thank you 🙏 it’s extremely rare I get the chance to talk to anyone else who is narcoleptic and truly understands just how much the sleepiness feels like….quicksand

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 1d

Note: AMV = “Against Medical Advice”

Translation: they told me “you really shouldn’t take any of your stimulants AT ALL until we know more about what’s going on, because it could be dangerous for you.”

…and I’m taking my Jornay anyway. Because Narcolepsy is a different kind of hell, and I need to.

Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 1d

I missed #worldnarcolepsyday on 9/22 which feels like a DEEPLY on-brand sign to RE-POST.

My doctors are genuinely trying so hard to help, but…I’m still narcoleptic, and being suddenly unable to safely treat it is hell. I’m acting AMV just to wake up at all.

Ergo, video. ⬇️

youtu.be/_yCsJ9fxDsk?...

Please Help Me Through This

YouTube video by Lindsey Odom

youtu.be

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 2d

That’s exactly what I was aiming for 💚

Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 2d

A lot of people tend to have very strong feelings about things like getting a major haircut while they’re in a bad headspace, and I can honestly say…I’m one of them.

I feel strongly that this haircut is awesome. 💅

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

I’m proud of what I managed to accomplish, despite everything…but I am also listening, now.

I’m stepping down, and stepping away, just a bit.

I love you guys. And I promise, I am making a genuine effort to finally take the time needed to care for myself…and to let others take care of me.

💚 🐿️

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

I would not have survived the past few years if it weren’t for this community. And I truly might not have survived the entirety of this past weekend if it weren’t for those specific people, who still chose to believe in and support me even as I put them through hell by not being able to listen.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

I’m so grateful for the opportunity I had, even briefly, to be a part of a group working to create space at the table for players like me.

And I’m every ounce as grateful to the people who believed—and continue to believe—in me enough to support me before, throughout, and after MC Atlanta.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

I finished it, I stopped moving, and as predicted: I am now too drained to try and tune it all out, so…I’m listening now. Even though it breaks my heart to step away from doing everything in my power to support, protect, and uplift the community that has done that for me for so long, I…have to.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

I couldn’t let myself, while there were still events on the calendar at which people I love needed my help, or support. While there were still enough things happening that I had the option to never let myself stop long enough to feel the exhaustion land.

But MagicCon is over now.

I finished it.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

I’ve been forcing myself forward for months on end because “if I stop, I am failing the people I love” has been playing in my mind on repeat. I never even considered that an alternative belief might be “if I kill myself trying to support the people I love, that will also hurt them. A lot more.”

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

I didn’t think I was being unreasonable at all, until they asked me, “how do you think that answer would make the people who love you feel, if they heard it?”

I knew the answer, of course, once they asked me. You’ve all been telling me for a long time that I need to rest—I just refused to hear it.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

Immediately after MagicCon, I had appointments with my psychiatrist and therapist, who asked me “what would actually have to happen to you to get you to step back? To take a break and rest?”

My honest, instantaneous reply was “I mean, I’d need to have been hospitalized.” And I meant it, even then.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

And I did make good on them—at the cost of my body, which screamed my limits at me non-stop whilst I put on a pair of noise canceling headphones to block out the constant refrain of “I can’t keep this up much longer” in my own head.

Commitments now. Rest later.

Forget to define “later.”

Repeat.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

The pattern of “cry, collapse, recover, run, repeat” continued all weekend.

My friends accepted I could not be deterred, so instead did their best to support me, feed me, prop me up, and (in some cases, literally) lift me up as I bullheadedly did my level best to make good on those commitments.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

@pastaghettii.bsky.social, @sameerjoseph1.bsky.social, and @greensuitgirl.bsky.social kept me company while I regained the ability to stand. Eventually, I got there.

And then I got up again at 7:30am Fri without my narcolepsy meds, since I still can’t safely take them.

Because I made commitments.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

I didn’t.

But I went anyway, because I had made commitments.

Thursday evening—the day before MC even started—the worst POTS flare I’ve had since being diagnosed in 2021 literally cut me down in GWCC’s lobby.

Rapid-onset unscheduled floor time, no option to decline, only to recline.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

I hoped I’d recover from my new medical complications in time to make it to PAX West as-planned. I didn’t. And I went anyway, because I made a commitment.

I fell apart a bit at PAX as a result, and still learned no lessons. Surely, I could recover from now-two health crashes in time for MagicCon.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

When I had my hysterectomy done in July, I hoped that my recovery would be relatively short, and simple…but I prepared for less-ideal outcomes as best I could, because EDS.

But no amount of preparation would have made up for just how much of a turn for the worse my health made post-surgery.

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

Hi, friends. 💚 It absolutely breaks my heart to have to announce this, but…I told Bobbie it was important to me that I be the one to do so, now that MagicCon: Atlanta has ended.

Earlier this evening, I officially resigned from Birds of Paradise in order to focus on my worsening medical state. 🧵 1/?

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

Thank YOU for listening to my zero-prep sleepy ramble about her 😅 I’m sure there will be more later, but I still appreciate you following me on the meandering journey to my point. Please accept this cat-tax of Annie for Arahbo comparison as my thanks 🙏 💚 🐿️

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Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

Anyway. I’ll stop yammering about her now (in your replies, at least—this will definitely become a thread on my own account later.)

But: thank you for pointing UB’s joys out again, and reminding me that she wouldn’t exist in MTG without it. It’s all too easy to forget that in the shuffle. 🌅🕷️💚

Lindsey Odom @sciurusdrey.bsky.social · 3d

Friends who recognized what she meant brought me her card un-prompted in Atlanta…sometimes in addition to shit they knew I’d need but refuse to ask for, like the LITERAL DUFFEL BAG OF SNACKS that @zakman86.bsky.social brought w/ him from DENVER.

The foil he gave me is hanging in my office now.

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