They will sometimes say they’re trying neg to be better but say you’re “really not helping”, they convince you that everyone will blame you for their actions, they will tell half truths to your therapist so she tells you you’re selfish. You don’t realize until you’re out how bad it was.

Because you get gaslight into thinking their anger and over reactions are because you aren’t good enough, and it gets worse and you gaslight yourself, because you love them, and then you are also just scared of them, and scared of how you’re “not good enough”, and they spin every bad thing onto you