The amount of boomers on my bus coming back from the protests today gives me hope. Standing room only 🥲

Me- “what would you do if I gave you a wedgie just now?”
Q- “ I mean, that’s fine I guess”

We are still not going to Target

Daniel craigs’s dog, Spaniel Craig

Bc it never snows here and today is just the powdery stuff, my landlord send one of his guys to LEAFBLOW the snow away at my apartment 😭

Abracadebra

The magic stool bus 🚽

Bloating can best be described as “how a chicken must feel before laying an egg”

Imagine going through your whole life thinking “skinny pig” is what people are saying instead of “guinea pig”. #nomoreweeknightedibles #notmelookingatbuyingaratoncraigslist #skinnypig

Every time you don't buy a book from Amazon, but use a good indie store who actually values the sale & treats you & your purchase with respect, the sun shines brighter, floofy puppies gambol in fresher grass, & Jeff Bezos's piles sting for just a biiiit longer.

Sounds GREAT to me.

Buy independent.

Helpful Spanish phrases to use in case you ever encounter ICE 🧊 🐷
• La Migra = ICE
• La Migra Está Aquí = ICE is here
• No digas nada y pida un abogado = Don’t say anything and ask for a Lawyer

When a random man in the general public is giving you his best sexy eyes attempt, bro nod him lmao it’s some sort of programmed thing where they will automatically bro nod back and confuse themselves 😌

Allow for #Mystery #Wonder and #Awe in your daily life

“Dean. Like bean but with a D”

“Where the sun don’t shine, it will shine again!”- my aunt trying to be inspirational

What’s up, thotdogs?!