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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author

@sensorystories.bsky.social

12K followers 16 following 3.1K posts

Advocating through science based education, validation, and empathy Nicolefilipponeauthor.com/my-links

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · May 7

If you recently discovered you might be autistic or you're a parent who recently discovered your kiddo might be autistic & you're looking to learn about autism through science and lived experience...

Hi... I'm Nicole! 👋🏻

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

Not the person flattening the conversation and refusing to see the nuance.

It's us... the autistic ones... often being called rigid. 😬🤦‍♀️

Isn't it ironic... don't you think?

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

Not because we are rigid, but because we are unwilling to accept a flattened version of a highly nuanced topic.

And guess who ends up looking like the rigid one in this scenario?

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

But when we are talking to someone who is refusing to acknowledge the nuance we see as critical to the conversation... this often results in us pushing back pretty hard.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

And, interestingly, this is actually what makes cognitive flexibility possible... the sheer amount of information and nuance actively held in our brains at any given time. Because we see more of the picture than most other people can.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

One thing that has repeatedly shown up in research is autistic people having a unique ability to hold so much information and nuance in our minds, that it slows down our processing speed... a lot.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

Now, let's talk about cognitive flexibility in autistic people.

Because this is far more common than most people realize... but, frustratingly for many of us, it is often mistaken for rigidity.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

But really, the behavior was their attempt at desperately clinging to things that made the world make sense to them.

This is not inherent cognitive rigidity. It's an attempt at making sense out of what feels nonsensical.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

In both of these examples, it was social confusion that led to autistic people acting in ways that appeared rigid.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

2. Rigidity around word definitions.

Similarly, when autistic people are already constantly feeling lost in social interactions... and then people (seemingly randomly) use words incorrectly... it can feel deeply confusing and anxiety inducing for them/us.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

1. Rigidity around rules.

When an autistic person feels lost in social situations where unwritten/unspoken rules are common and they are finally given clearly written rules about something...

When those rules are (seemingly randomly) broken, it can be highly anxiety inducing for them.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

But because the diagnostic criteria are constructed based on observable behaviors that occur as a direct result of unmet needs, that's what you get in the DSM.

Here are a couple examples of how unmet needs can look like rigidity.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

I think cognitive rigidity is a survival response due to unmet needs.

So if a person's autistic needs are fully met, cognitive rigidity likely wouldn't show up.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 14h

Rigid thinking is not a universal autistic trait. In fact, some autistic people are more cognitively flexible than most nonautistic people.

So why is cognitive rigidity mentioned in the autism section of the DSM?

Here's my take...

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

😞

Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

It won't be easy. But it's doable.

I truly believe that with every ounce of my being.

And I sincerely hope I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Is anyone with me? ❤️

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

Because with unity, we can become a powerful force that influences meaningful change.

Change that gets all autistic people the support they/we so desperately need... and DESERVE.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

And I don't think splitting the diagnosis is the fix some people think it will be.

Unity is what we need.

It won't necessarily be a "fix" per se... but it can be the beginning of a healing journey. One our community needs so. badly. right now.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

And to do that, we need to listen to each other. Really listen. Not talk to be heard, but listen to understand.

Because what we need more than anything else right now is support. And not just any support. The RIGHT support. Which most of us aren't getting. The right support.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

Unfortunately, I don't think it will. Because until we find a way to stand together, none of us will be heard.

I'm going to repeat that because it's the most important line of this entire post.

Until we find a way to stand together...

None of us will be heard.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

Low support needs, late diagnosed autistic adults. Moderate to high support needs autistic adults. Parents of high support needs autistic children (kids and adults)...

And I think some people feel splitting the diagnosis will fix that.

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 1d

Should the autism diagnosis be "split"? (a question posed in a recent NY Times article)

I don't know.

But here's what I do know.

A lot of people are feeling erased in the discourse around autism right now...

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Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 3d

❤️

Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 3d

I'm glad you're here 😊❤️

Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 3d

Thank you so much 😊❤️

Nicole Filippone, Autistic Advocate & Author @sensorystories.bsky.social · 3d

And I'm realizing now that this is exactly what my platform needs to be.

Awareness isn't enough anymore. Guidance towards peace. That's what's needed.

And I think it's something I can offer.

So, if this sounds like what you need... stick around. I've got you. 🤗

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