Red 🗡️ [🚨read DNI🚨]
@seraphicmartyrdom.bsky.social
vent blog
Red, they/them, 25+
Akane is my OC that i use to vent trauma
‼️Trigger warnings in about
DNI, BYF in Carrd‼️
don't be a fucking asshole.
Please read my Carrd for full info
akaneakuma.carrd.co
Tumblr:
sanguineseraphs.tumblr.com
Red, they/them, 25+
Akane is my OC that i use to vent trauma
‼️Trigger warnings in about
DNI, BYF in Carrd‼️
don't be a fucking asshole.
Please read my Carrd for full info
akaneakuma.carrd.co
Tumblr:
sanguineseraphs.tumblr.com
Pinned
🥀ABOUT 🥀
vent blog; gposes & statuses
‼️TW: Sui ideation, SH, violent, distorted & disturbing thoughts / feelings, "yandere / yangire" themes, blood, gore & body horror, SA, negative & distorted self-talk / image (updating as needed)
🥀Tags: #akaneakuma
⬇️Pfp source below
vent blog; gposes & statuses
‼️TW: Sui ideation, SH, violent, distorted & disturbing thoughts / feelings, "yandere / yangire" themes, blood, gore & body horror, SA, negative & distorted self-talk / image (updating as needed)
🥀Tags: #akaneakuma
⬇️Pfp source below
There is something *very* unsettling about having to be specific to your psych about the "plan" you had to off yourself...
(I AM FINE, this was a "fantasy-" and I removed the means to do so... This is why I'm on medical leave smh)
(I AM FINE, this was a "fantasy-" and I removed the means to do so... This is why I'm on medical leave smh)
December 30, 2025 at 2:51 AM
There is something *very* unsettling about having to be specific to your psych about the "plan" you had to off yourself...
(I AM FINE, this was a "fantasy-" and I removed the means to do so... This is why I'm on medical leave smh)
(I AM FINE, this was a "fantasy-" and I removed the means to do so... This is why I'm on medical leave smh)
So as I’m beginning to *f i n a l l y* come out of the depressive spiral I am in (knock on wood)
I’m no longer drowning, I’m just adrift, confused & a bit lost
If I wanted to I could go in any direction but I’m not sure where I want to go anymore
I’m no longer drowning, I’m just adrift, confused & a bit lost
If I wanted to I could go in any direction but I’m not sure where I want to go anymore
December 29, 2025 at 8:12 PM
So as I’m beginning to *f i n a l l y* come out of the depressive spiral I am in (knock on wood)
I’m no longer drowning, I’m just adrift, confused & a bit lost
If I wanted to I could go in any direction but I’m not sure where I want to go anymore
I’m no longer drowning, I’m just adrift, confused & a bit lost
If I wanted to I could go in any direction but I’m not sure where I want to go anymore
Now just realizing that the 6-12 month span I spent frantically writing & pouring every single second I was existing into my stories
… May have just been a manic episode…
Ah. 🧍🏻♀️
… May have just been a manic episode…
Ah. 🧍🏻♀️
December 28, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Now just realizing that the 6-12 month span I spent frantically writing & pouring every single second I was existing into my stories
… May have just been a manic episode…
Ah. 🧍🏻♀️
… May have just been a manic episode…
Ah. 🧍🏻♀️
If another therapist and/or self-help resource fucking recommends that stupid Goddamn “what can you see/hear/smell/touch/taste” “grounding” technique again I’m going to fucking throw myself off a clip holy fucking Goddamn SHIT do I hate that method so much oh my GODDDDD
December 28, 2025 at 1:10 AM
If another therapist and/or self-help resource fucking recommends that stupid Goddamn “what can you see/hear/smell/touch/taste” “grounding” technique again I’m going to fucking throw myself off a clip holy fucking Goddamn SHIT do I hate that method so much oh my GODDDDD
> Family member ended up in hospital, ended up having a blood infection so bad they were near-septic
> Was recovering okay
> Now 2 of their vertebrae collapsed in their neck
I literally have no words
> Was recovering okay
> Now 2 of their vertebrae collapsed in their neck
I literally have no words
December 27, 2025 at 9:08 PM
> Family member ended up in hospital, ended up having a blood infection so bad they were near-septic
> Was recovering okay
> Now 2 of their vertebrae collapsed in their neck
I literally have no words
> Was recovering okay
> Now 2 of their vertebrae collapsed in their neck
I literally have no words
Maybe I should stop being nice
December 27, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Maybe I should stop being nice
Me: okay I need to focus on destressing & nothing else; I’m finally starting to feel kinda stable again yippeee
My budget: you’re $1200 in the hole between paychecks
Me: never mind I’m back to wanting to **** myself lmao
My budget: you’re $1200 in the hole between paychecks
Me: never mind I’m back to wanting to **** myself lmao
December 27, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Me: okay I need to focus on destressing & nothing else; I’m finally starting to feel kinda stable again yippeee
My budget: you’re $1200 in the hole between paychecks
Me: never mind I’m back to wanting to **** myself lmao
My budget: you’re $1200 in the hole between paychecks
Me: never mind I’m back to wanting to **** myself lmao
Man I’m just tryna enjoy the holiday
But I woke up with a migraine/headache
Very sleepy & dizzy, congestion, and my throat is VERY sore
Right now it feels so swollen my brain is like “oh it’s going to swell up and close”
& ATP I can’t even be freaked out- I’m just like “fine, bring it” lmfao…
But I woke up with a migraine/headache
Very sleepy & dizzy, congestion, and my throat is VERY sore
Right now it feels so swollen my brain is like “oh it’s going to swell up and close”
& ATP I can’t even be freaked out- I’m just like “fine, bring it” lmfao…
December 25, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Man I’m just tryna enjoy the holiday
But I woke up with a migraine/headache
Very sleepy & dizzy, congestion, and my throat is VERY sore
Right now it feels so swollen my brain is like “oh it’s going to swell up and close”
& ATP I can’t even be freaked out- I’m just like “fine, bring it” lmfao…
But I woke up with a migraine/headache
Very sleepy & dizzy, congestion, and my throat is VERY sore
Right now it feels so swollen my brain is like “oh it’s going to swell up and close”
& ATP I can’t even be freaked out- I’m just like “fine, bring it” lmfao…
When you go back and look at messages and realize
1) Your mental illness fucked up your perspective real good
2) You really *are* that good at masking
I mean, at least I’m self aware…? lol…
1) Your mental illness fucked up your perspective real good
2) You really *are* that good at masking
I mean, at least I’m self aware…? lol…
December 24, 2025 at 8:17 PM
When you go back and look at messages and realize
1) Your mental illness fucked up your perspective real good
2) You really *are* that good at masking
I mean, at least I’m self aware…? lol…
1) Your mental illness fucked up your perspective real good
2) You really *are* that good at masking
I mean, at least I’m self aware…? lol…
… How can you sit there and continue to talk so much about yourself?
Holy shit people’s selfishness… Astounding.
Holy shit people’s selfishness… Astounding.
December 24, 2025 at 5:32 PM
… How can you sit there and continue to talk so much about yourself?
Holy shit people’s selfishness… Astounding.
Holy shit people’s selfishness… Astounding.
Listen I understand that the paid leave process is stressful as fuck (I went through it before, if it’s abrupt & you don’t have the ability to plan ahead of time due to your circumstances it is super stressful)
& that I’m just tryna plan ahead
But I am DEFINITELY just stressing myself tf out fuck
& that I’m just tryna plan ahead
But I am DEFINITELY just stressing myself tf out fuck
December 24, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Listen I understand that the paid leave process is stressful as fuck (I went through it before, if it’s abrupt & you don’t have the ability to plan ahead of time due to your circumstances it is super stressful)
& that I’m just tryna plan ahead
But I am DEFINITELY just stressing myself tf out fuck
& that I’m just tryna plan ahead
But I am DEFINITELY just stressing myself tf out fuck
It genuinely bothers me just how willing people are to stay self-centered.
That’s the only way I can explain why people don’t reach out to someone who is clearly struggling, especially with their mental health.
That’s the only way I can explain why people don’t reach out to someone who is clearly struggling, especially with their mental health.
December 23, 2025 at 10:36 PM
It genuinely bothers me just how willing people are to stay self-centered.
That’s the only way I can explain why people don’t reach out to someone who is clearly struggling, especially with their mental health.
That’s the only way I can explain why people don’t reach out to someone who is clearly struggling, especially with their mental health.
Me, thinking about the titrating on Lamictal
My brain: dream blunt rotation
Me: ????? No?????????
My brain: dream blunt rotation
Me: ????? No?????????
December 23, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Me, thinking about the titrating on Lamictal
My brain: dream blunt rotation
Me: ????? No?????????
My brain: dream blunt rotation
Me: ????? No?????????
💕🌈 Just diagnosed with Mood Disorder Not Otherwise Specified 🌈 💕
🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
December 23, 2025 at 7:59 AM
💕🌈 Just diagnosed with Mood Disorder Not Otherwise Specified 🌈 💕
🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Oh lol my psych had suggested putting me in intensive inpatient care… The only reason she decided against it was because of my insurance deductible
My heart fucking *dropped…* I was so scared but thank God she isn’t forcing me into it holy shit
My heart fucking *dropped…* I was so scared but thank God she isn’t forcing me into it holy shit
December 23, 2025 at 7:49 AM
Oh lol my psych had suggested putting me in intensive inpatient care… The only reason she decided against it was because of my insurance deductible
My heart fucking *dropped…* I was so scared but thank God she isn’t forcing me into it holy shit
My heart fucking *dropped…* I was so scared but thank God she isn’t forcing me into it holy shit
Listen
I know it’s the week of Christmas
And I am at a *VERY* popular & ritzy mall outlet
But why is it fucking *insane* on a rainy ass Monday night holy fucking shit……..
I know it’s the week of Christmas
And I am at a *VERY* popular & ritzy mall outlet
But why is it fucking *insane* on a rainy ass Monday night holy fucking shit……..
December 23, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Listen
I know it’s the week of Christmas
And I am at a *VERY* popular & ritzy mall outlet
But why is it fucking *insane* on a rainy ass Monday night holy fucking shit……..
I know it’s the week of Christmas
And I am at a *VERY* popular & ritzy mall outlet
But why is it fucking *insane* on a rainy ass Monday night holy fucking shit……..
I fucking hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate driving in the rain.
December 23, 2025 at 1:45 AM
I fucking hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate driving in the rain.
I got approved for medical leave hahahaha holy fucking shit
December 22, 2025 at 11:13 PM
I got approved for medical leave hahahaha holy fucking shit
T-Minus 2 hours to the next session of "please fucking listen to me or else Bad Things are Going To Happen™️"
December 22, 2025 at 8:39 PM
T-Minus 2 hours to the next session of "please fucking listen to me or else Bad Things are Going To Happen™️"
I am... On a very strange roll of being very blunt & honest about the things I (and 90% of people) would've usually kept hidden & private
It's kinda cool but kinda disturbing lol
It's kinda cool but kinda disturbing lol
December 22, 2025 at 7:43 AM
I am... On a very strange roll of being very blunt & honest about the things I (and 90% of people) would've usually kept hidden & private
It's kinda cool but kinda disturbing lol
It's kinda cool but kinda disturbing lol
I think another scary thing about where I'm at right now is I cannot be reasoned with.
Me- highly logical, empathetic, and compromising- I do not want to reason with anyone anymore. I don't want to fucking listen to a Goddamn word. That's how desperate I've become.
Me- highly logical, empathetic, and compromising- I do not want to reason with anyone anymore. I don't want to fucking listen to a Goddamn word. That's how desperate I've become.
December 21, 2025 at 4:15 PM
I think another scary thing about where I'm at right now is I cannot be reasoned with.
Me- highly logical, empathetic, and compromising- I do not want to reason with anyone anymore. I don't want to fucking listen to a Goddamn word. That's how desperate I've become.
Me- highly logical, empathetic, and compromising- I do not want to reason with anyone anymore. I don't want to fucking listen to a Goddamn word. That's how desperate I've become.
Been off of my shit ass meds for 3 days now
Going back to work today
I still have incredible amounts of self-destructive thoughts & fragile impatience; all I can think about as of late is surviving to tomorrow (psych appt) & the dark ideas I have if it doesn't go well...
Going back to work today
I still have incredible amounts of self-destructive thoughts & fragile impatience; all I can think about as of late is surviving to tomorrow (psych appt) & the dark ideas I have if it doesn't go well...
December 21, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Been off of my shit ass meds for 3 days now
Going back to work today
I still have incredible amounts of self-destructive thoughts & fragile impatience; all I can think about as of late is surviving to tomorrow (psych appt) & the dark ideas I have if it doesn't go well...
Going back to work today
I still have incredible amounts of self-destructive thoughts & fragile impatience; all I can think about as of late is surviving to tomorrow (psych appt) & the dark ideas I have if it doesn't go well...
These thoughts would terrify anyone
And quite honestly, they would’ve scared me in the past
But they don’t scare me at all, and that should scare everyone.
And quite honestly, they would’ve scared me in the past
But they don’t scare me at all, and that should scare everyone.
December 19, 2025 at 8:30 PM
These thoughts would terrify anyone
And quite honestly, they would’ve scared me in the past
But they don’t scare me at all, and that should scare everyone.
And quite honestly, they would’ve scared me in the past
But they don’t scare me at all, and that should scare everyone.
Changed my handle bc
1) I love it
2) I'm expanding the chara roster
3) All-encompassing
akaneakuma ➡️ seraphicmartyrdom
Will be working on updating stuff in the next few weeks smh
1) I love it
2) I'm expanding the chara roster
3) All-encompassing
akaneakuma ➡️ seraphicmartyrdom
Will be working on updating stuff in the next few weeks smh
December 19, 2025 at 7:35 AM
Changed my handle bc
1) I love it
2) I'm expanding the chara roster
3) All-encompassing
akaneakuma ➡️ seraphicmartyrdom
Will be working on updating stuff in the next few weeks smh
1) I love it
2) I'm expanding the chara roster
3) All-encompassing
akaneakuma ➡️ seraphicmartyrdom
Will be working on updating stuff in the next few weeks smh
I LOVE that regardless of what I do transitioning off of this Godforsaken medication, I'm fucked either way
>Stay on it until the end of its dosage: continue to dissociate, horrid emotional dysregulation, mental confusion etc
>Get off of it immediately: Pain. Nausea. Headache. Fatigue.
Fuuuuck me.
>Stay on it until the end of its dosage: continue to dissociate, horrid emotional dysregulation, mental confusion etc
>Get off of it immediately: Pain. Nausea. Headache. Fatigue.
Fuuuuck me.
December 19, 2025 at 7:31 AM
I LOVE that regardless of what I do transitioning off of this Godforsaken medication, I'm fucked either way
>Stay on it until the end of its dosage: continue to dissociate, horrid emotional dysregulation, mental confusion etc
>Get off of it immediately: Pain. Nausea. Headache. Fatigue.
Fuuuuck me.
>Stay on it until the end of its dosage: continue to dissociate, horrid emotional dysregulation, mental confusion etc
>Get off of it immediately: Pain. Nausea. Headache. Fatigue.
Fuuuuck me.