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Why Non-Fatal Strangulation Is a Critical Warning Sign in Abuse Cases

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 11h

Inconsistency is a form of control. It keeps you walking on eggshells, constantly anticipating what will come next.
#EmotionalAbuse #WalkingOnEggshells

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 20h

Non-fatal strangulation is an extremely dangerous abuse tactic with severe risks and a strong link to future violence. #DomesticViolenceAwareness

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Non-fatal strangulation is an extremely dangerous abuse tactic with severe risks and a strong link to future violence.

10 Things Never To Say To Someone That Has Left an Abusive Marriage

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 1d

Leaving an abusive marriage takes courage. Words can heal or harm. Choose compassion.

Read more on my Substack.

shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...

Leaving an abusive marriage is an act requiring enormous courage and strength.

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 1d

Question: “But they apologized—shouldn’t you give them another chance?”

Answer: Apologies without real change are just another manipulation tactic. Abusers often apologize to keep you in the cycle of hope, but their behavior doesn’t change. True accountability requires action, not just words.

Walking on Eggshells: How Fear Becomes the Abusers Strongest Weapon

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 1d

Fear is the heartbeat of abuse. It is not just a side effect, but the very mechanism that sustains it. It is the abuser’s strongest weapon, creating an invisible prison built from threats, intimidation, and constant uncertainty. #DomesticAbuse

Domestic abuse victims describe life as walking on eggshells - fragile, tense, and one step away from danger.

Double Standards in Controlling Relationships: How Abusers Enforce Unfair Rules to Maintain Power

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 2d

Abusers demand attention when you're busy. Their entitlement means they won’t respect your time & will interrupt, expecting instant focus. If you don’t comply, they may rage, pout, act aggressively, or go silent. It’s a control tactic. 🚩

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 2d

Survivors often escape the abuse only to face disbelief or dismissal in family court. The system needs to catch up.
#coercivecontrol #domesticabuseawareness

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 2d

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. To honour it, I’ve opened the Shadows of Control Supporter subscriptions at 35% off — a quiet, survivor-centered home for reflection, healing, and connection.

Thank you to everyone who supports this work. 💜

shadowsofcontrol.substack.com

#DVAM2025

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 2d

It starts with intensity—grand gestures, constant affection, promises of forever. Then slowly, something shifts. The warmth cools, the rules tighten, and control takes the stage.
#CoerciveControl

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 3d

The invisible cage of #coercivecontrol is built piece by piece:

🔹 Criticism erodes self-esteem
🔹 Financial control limits independence
🔹 Isolation cuts off support
🔹 Gaslighting distorts reality

These tactics trap you. Coercive control is abuse.

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 3d

Abusers often apply double standards, forcing their partner to endlessly adhere to unreasonable rules while they disregard them without consequence. #DoubleStandards

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Learn about the harmful dynamics of double standards in controlling relationships. Survivors share their stories of enduring unfair rules and the emotional strain they face.

When Intimacy Becomes a Weapon: Revenge Porn as a Tool of Coercive Control

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 3d

Isolation is a powerful tool. When the only voice you hear is theirs, it becomes harder to see the manipulation.
#PsychologicalAbuse

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 3d

The threat of non-consensual sharing of intimate images, also known as revenge porn, preys on a victim’s vulnerability, trust, and privacy, turning intimate moments into a weapon of fear and control. #CoerciveControl

shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Explore the sinister reality of revenge porn: how it preys on vulnerability and trust, turning intimate moments into weapons of fear and control.

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 4d

Moving on' from domestic abuse is often spoken about like it’s one step, but it’s a journey that involves so many little moments of strength, patience, and compassion for yourself.

Physically leaving is just the beginning - the psychological side requires time, inner work and gentleness.

Survivors Share the Challenges They Faced Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 4d

“Why didn’t you just leave?” The truth is, leaving an abusive relationship is rarely simple. Fear, isolation, financial control, and threats often make escape feel impossible. Survivors’ stories reveal the barriers abusers build to trap and manipulate.

shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...

"Why didn’t you just leave?” This question, often asked of survivors of abuse, reveals a misunderstanding of the complex realities they’ve faced.

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 4d

Abuse is not defined by physical harm alone. Control, gaslighting, and constant criticism leave wounds too—just not the kind you can see.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness

The Abuse You Can’t See: How Abusers Control Without Ever Saying “No”

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 5d

“You should’ve seen the red flags.”

Hindsight is always clearer, but abusers are often experts at manipulation. Blaming survivors for not recognizing warning signs ignores the complexity of abusive dynamics.

Instead, focus on supporting their recovery, not on dissecting their past.

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 5d

Pay attention to the physical signs—tight chest, racing heart, knots in your stomach. Your body knows.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 5d

Coercive control is often invisible abuse, stripping away freedom piece by piece. Survivors describe how silence, subtle punishments, and relentless pressure grind them down until saying “yes” feels like the only way to survive. What looks like choice is, in reality, captivity in disguise.

When people imagine abuse, they often picture a partner shouting orders, laying down rules, or forbidding certain behaviours outright.

False Love: Manipulative Affection in Abusive Relationships

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 5d

Declarations of love can be used as a weapon by abusers who control, confuse, and dominate while hiding behind a mask of affection. #DomesticAbuseAwareness

shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Understanding manipulative affection: when love is twisted into a tool for control and harm.

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 6d

Belittling your achievements is a tactic used by toxic people to undermine your confidence and boost their own ego. Recognize and celebrate your successes independently of their approval. Your accomplishments are worthy of pride. #SuperiorityComplex #EmotionalAbuse 💔

Why it May Take Years to Recognize Abuse in Relationships

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 6d

As a result of gradual conditioning and emotional manipulation, it often takes domestic abuse victims years to realize they are being abused. Survivors share why it was so hard for them to see the abuse. #DomesticAbuseAwareness

shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Understanding the complex journey of recognizing abuse in relationships. Explore the experiences of survivors and why it can take years to realize the truth.

Survivors Share Why It Is So Hard to Leave an Abusive Relationship

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 6d

The legal system can retraumatize survivors—especially when coercive control isn’t properly understood or addressed.
#systemicabuse #domesticabuseawareness

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 7d

On average, abuse victims make seven attempts before successfully leaving domestic abuse. Survivors share their stories to shed light on the barriers faced and how abusers make leaving so difficult. #DomesticAbuseAwareness

shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Understanding the complexities of leaving an abusive relationship. Survivors share their stories to shed light on the barriers faced and how abusers make leaving so difficult.