Shahnaz Zarif
@shahnaz.bsky.social
Notorious flirt. Egregious nerd. Garden variety neurodivergent. Reformed edge lord.
I’ve been posting less lately because i’m trying to meet my need for affirmation and external validation outside of my phone.
March 13, 2025 at 3:09 PM
I’ve been posting less lately because i’m trying to meet my need for affirmation and external validation outside of my phone.
The Potentials convened via Sending Stone for the first time in almost a decade to write a notes app statement on Michelle Trachtenberg’s death, and in the most “us” turn of events possible, none of us could log into our account. The statement is as follows…
February 28, 2025 at 10:42 AM
The Potentials convened via Sending Stone for the first time in almost a decade to write a notes app statement on Michelle Trachtenberg’s death, and in the most “us” turn of events possible, none of us could log into our account. The statement is as follows…
My partner: “Do you wanna see Double Indemnity at the Cinema?”
Me: “OMG! I haven’t seen that in years! Why not, it’ll be a laugh!”
Him: “a laugh?”
Me: “Dennis Rodman & Jean Claude Van Damme playing hyper-masc is camp”
Him: “?”
It is not the film I think it is.
Me: “OMG! I haven’t seen that in years! Why not, it’ll be a laugh!”
Him: “a laugh?”
Me: “Dennis Rodman & Jean Claude Van Damme playing hyper-masc is camp”
Him: “?”
It is not the film I think it is.
February 28, 2025 at 10:31 AM
My partner: “Do you wanna see Double Indemnity at the Cinema?”
Me: “OMG! I haven’t seen that in years! Why not, it’ll be a laugh!”
Him: “a laugh?”
Me: “Dennis Rodman & Jean Claude Van Damme playing hyper-masc is camp”
Him: “?”
It is not the film I think it is.
Me: “OMG! I haven’t seen that in years! Why not, it’ll be a laugh!”
Him: “a laugh?”
Me: “Dennis Rodman & Jean Claude Van Damme playing hyper-masc is camp”
Him: “?”
It is not the film I think it is.
Ben Kweller pronounced “Sex reminds her of eating spaghetti” 18 years ago, and yet twee-core men cringe at “macaroni in a pot” during W.A.P?
There’s a microagression in here somewhere.
There’s a microagression in here somewhere.
February 13, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Ben Kweller pronounced “Sex reminds her of eating spaghetti” 18 years ago, and yet twee-core men cringe at “macaroni in a pot” during W.A.P?
There’s a microagression in here somewhere.
There’s a microagression in here somewhere.
Finally watched Raggedy Ann & Andy’s Musical Adventure on the advice of a student who has been telling me for months that it’s the greatest film of all time… and it might be the greatest film of all time!
Saccharine and trippy in equal parts.
Thankyou the 70s for not sparing kids of weirdness.
Saccharine and trippy in equal parts.
Thankyou the 70s for not sparing kids of weirdness.
February 5, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Finally watched Raggedy Ann & Andy’s Musical Adventure on the advice of a student who has been telling me for months that it’s the greatest film of all time… and it might be the greatest film of all time!
Saccharine and trippy in equal parts.
Thankyou the 70s for not sparing kids of weirdness.
Saccharine and trippy in equal parts.
Thankyou the 70s for not sparing kids of weirdness.
I hate the emo boys who fake fan girled me in my youth even more now they’re 40. Chronic pain and fatigue prevent me from attending shows even when I’ve bought tickets & arranged travel. They get to treat the music that presses the bruises on my heart like bearded-band teed-Ibiza.
February 3, 2025 at 8:04 PM
I hate the emo boys who fake fan girled me in my youth even more now they’re 40. Chronic pain and fatigue prevent me from attending shows even when I’ve bought tickets & arranged travel. They get to treat the music that presses the bruises on my heart like bearded-band teed-Ibiza.
Can’t wait to turn 50 and start doing that Baby Jane makeup.
January 31, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Can’t wait to turn 50 and start doing that Baby Jane makeup.
Why the cast of Scream 7 are complicit in Genocide - a thread.
For almost 30 years, Scream has been one of my specialist topics. I could go on Mastermind with the level of useless knowledge I hold and deeply enjoy about this franchise.
For almost 30 years, Scream has been one of my specialist topics. I could go on Mastermind with the level of useless knowledge I hold and deeply enjoy about this franchise.
January 31, 2025 at 11:32 AM
Why the cast of Scream 7 are complicit in Genocide - a thread.
For almost 30 years, Scream has been one of my specialist topics. I could go on Mastermind with the level of useless knowledge I hold and deeply enjoy about this franchise.
For almost 30 years, Scream has been one of my specialist topics. I could go on Mastermind with the level of useless knowledge I hold and deeply enjoy about this franchise.
Reposted by Shahnaz Zarif
mark sucked that man’s dick right off the bone
January 29, 2025 at 10:35 PM
mark sucked that man’s dick right off the bone
I don’t mean to be a traitor to my generation (and aesthetic / subculture etc) and all, but I wouldn’t recognise a Lana del ray song in a line up of one. 🤷🏻♀️
January 30, 2025 at 7:51 AM
I don’t mean to be a traitor to my generation (and aesthetic / subculture etc) and all, but I wouldn’t recognise a Lana del ray song in a line up of one. 🤷🏻♀️
Can’t tell if it’s worse that my cat made his first kill tonight or that every night my dog makes puppy eyes and drools whilst I eat my dinner.
January 29, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Can’t tell if it’s worse that my cat made his first kill tonight or that every night my dog makes puppy eyes and drools whilst I eat my dinner.
My job was rewarding today.
January 29, 2025 at 5:02 PM
My job was rewarding today.
Anora is traumatic as hell for anyone from a working class background who dreams of sudden filthy wealth, but knows the other shoes gonna drop any second. The fear and shame of returning to your old life after flying too close to the flame is captured a little too well.
A* give it all the Oscar’s.
A* give it all the Oscar’s.
January 26, 2025 at 11:34 AM
Anora is traumatic as hell for anyone from a working class background who dreams of sudden filthy wealth, but knows the other shoes gonna drop any second. The fear and shame of returning to your old life after flying too close to the flame is captured a little too well.
A* give it all the Oscar’s.
A* give it all the Oscar’s.
The sky kinda ruled last night
January 26, 2025 at 11:21 AM
The sky kinda ruled last night
For the most part, living with intrusive thoughts sucks… but occasionally you’ll get a harrowing moment from cinema instead of your own life, and and it’s like “Sweet! Reruns!”
January 25, 2025 at 5:48 PM
For the most part, living with intrusive thoughts sucks… but occasionally you’ll get a harrowing moment from cinema instead of your own life, and and it’s like “Sweet! Reruns!”
I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve, but recently I’ve been practicing brutal honesty.
It turns out it is unwise to tell you PT that you haven’t showered, or done your exercises.
It turns out it is unwise to tell you PT that you haven’t showered, or done your exercises.
November 14, 2024 at 2:21 PM
I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve, but recently I’ve been practicing brutal honesty.
It turns out it is unwise to tell you PT that you haven’t showered, or done your exercises.
It turns out it is unwise to tell you PT that you haven’t showered, or done your exercises.
The most offensive thing about Saltburn is that it’s a period piece set in 2006 whilst i was also at Uni, and the attention to fashion and music is so accurate that I’m cringing at myself.
December 26, 2023 at 7:09 PM
The most offensive thing about Saltburn is that it’s a period piece set in 2006 whilst i was also at Uni, and the attention to fashion and music is so accurate that I’m cringing at myself.
Hi, I’m Shahnaz, and I’m here to ruin Die Hard.
Firstly, John McLane is a reckless, trigger happy cop who brags about not following the rules & rather than making any attempt to de-escalate the situation he puts profit before people by instinctively protecting a corporation.
Firstly, John McLane is a reckless, trigger happy cop who brags about not following the rules & rather than making any attempt to de-escalate the situation he puts profit before people by instinctively protecting a corporation.
December 25, 2023 at 12:03 AM
Hi, I’m Shahnaz, and I’m here to ruin Die Hard.
Firstly, John McLane is a reckless, trigger happy cop who brags about not following the rules & rather than making any attempt to de-escalate the situation he puts profit before people by instinctively protecting a corporation.
Firstly, John McLane is a reckless, trigger happy cop who brags about not following the rules & rather than making any attempt to de-escalate the situation he puts profit before people by instinctively protecting a corporation.
My dog is back on his food refusal bullshit. This whole family really shines with demand avoidance at Christmas.
December 20, 2023 at 7:02 PM
My dog is back on his food refusal bullshit. This whole family really shines with demand avoidance at Christmas.
I’m totally xmassed out already, and yet simultaneously yearning for connection.
I want to reach out because I feel alone, but I don’t want to do anything Xmas related or ruin anyone’s festivities.
I want to reach out because I feel alone, but I don’t want to do anything Xmas related or ruin anyone’s festivities.
December 19, 2023 at 7:12 PM
I’m totally xmassed out already, and yet simultaneously yearning for connection.
I want to reach out because I feel alone, but I don’t want to do anything Xmas related or ruin anyone’s festivities.
I want to reach out because I feel alone, but I don’t want to do anything Xmas related or ruin anyone’s festivities.
I’ve said it before & I will again. Roast dinners are the emperors new clothes of food and the reaction to them makes me cringe
“I put a corpse in the oven with some fat, and now my id is evolutionarily hardwired to salivate at the smell of roasting flesh”.
It’s like announcing you got a boner.
“I put a corpse in the oven with some fat, and now my id is evolutionarily hardwired to salivate at the smell of roasting flesh”.
It’s like announcing you got a boner.
December 16, 2023 at 10:25 AM
I’ve said it before & I will again. Roast dinners are the emperors new clothes of food and the reaction to them makes me cringe
“I put a corpse in the oven with some fat, and now my id is evolutionarily hardwired to salivate at the smell of roasting flesh”.
It’s like announcing you got a boner.
“I put a corpse in the oven with some fat, and now my id is evolutionarily hardwired to salivate at the smell of roasting flesh”.
It’s like announcing you got a boner.
I miss when Fire Emblem games were good.
It’s not even that long ago, I just can’t engage with Engage.
It’s not even that long ago, I just can’t engage with Engage.
December 15, 2023 at 11:22 PM
I miss when Fire Emblem games were good.
It’s not even that long ago, I just can’t engage with Engage.
It’s not even that long ago, I just can’t engage with Engage.
The premise of the movie Silent Night (2021) is that during an apocalypse a group of friends have one last Christmas together before taking painless suicide pills.
As someone who can’t manage 3+ hours of socialising, compromising on music or medieval festive foods i’d simply have taken the pill.
As someone who can’t manage 3+ hours of socialising, compromising on music or medieval festive foods i’d simply have taken the pill.
December 15, 2023 at 9:50 PM
The premise of the movie Silent Night (2021) is that during an apocalypse a group of friends have one last Christmas together before taking painless suicide pills.
As someone who can’t manage 3+ hours of socialising, compromising on music or medieval festive foods i’d simply have taken the pill.
As someone who can’t manage 3+ hours of socialising, compromising on music or medieval festive foods i’d simply have taken the pill.