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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 20h

ThanK you

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 20h

The darpa chief then mysteriously dies from the Toweldye virus

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 20h

The year is 1999. Quisp Boss has formed a rogue mercenary breakaway state he ominously calls Outer Towel. The famed agent Little Bigfoot is called out of retirement. His mission: infiltrate Outer Towel, and destroy the ultimate weapon (and his former wife): Towelputer!!

Codec call between Little Bigfoot and Quisp Boss

Final showdown between Little Bigfoot and Towelputer

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 20h

Did I stutter

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 20h

yes quisp is also there. he conducted the marriage ceremony. when the towelputer disintegrates he pops up again to say "chalk up another one FOR quisp". What else you got. Hit me

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 20h

for an additional monthly fee, we will implant the towelputer with a love chip and soak it in empathy chemicals and then yes you will be able to marry it.

but on your wedding night, you carry the towelputer over the threshold, breaking the sacred pact to keep it forever outside. it fades into dust

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 20h

Towelputer? Please sort all incoming deals from my favorite brands.

COMPUTING...WILL TAKE FOUR HOURS TO CALCULATE

That's fine towelputer. I will simply lounge in my outdoor space and use your other functions while I wait. My oh my you're getting hot!

MUCH EASIER TO DRY WITH MASTER

-New Ad spot

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 20h

the course of empire painting: destruction

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 21h

an email that physically shows up in your mailbox

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Reposted by Citizen Shane (spooky)

scari @cari.bsky.social · 21h

Imagine your life without emails

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 21h

oh yeah? then I've got something for yer inbox pal

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 21h

a man in a suit is sitting in a chair with his hand on his chin and a book in front of him .

Alt: a man in a suit is sitting in a chair with his hand on his chin and a book in front of him .

media.tenor.com

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 21h

all socks are stretchy but some socks are more stretchy than others

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

single serving socks for the refined consumer

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

all socks are enemies

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

never met a sock I didn't like!

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

the bookmark sock: a tale as old as time

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

socks are alright in my book

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

laundry twice a week. get ta work.

socks stay on at all times unless at the beach or the pool.

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

9 socks. 4 pairs and 1 extra

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

Well maybe this is the type of stuff you should be thinking about

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

There should only be one type of sock. Made by and sold by the government. It should only come in one size. It should be ill-fitting and unpleasant for all. Every year the government sockman comes to your house ot deliver your annual allotment of 9 socks. He is paid three hundred thousand dollars

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

A sock is not a contract

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

Every sock is a policy failure

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Citizen Shane (spooky) @shanesheehy.bsky.social · 1d

Which sock is the *right* sock for *you*? Which sock best embodies your unique identity? Which sock affords you the truest form of self-expression? Which sock has the best chance of offering you transcendental transformation? Which sock allows you to touch the face of god?

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