Brent Shepherd (he/him)
@shepcatzero.bsky.social
Down these mean skeets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid.
I guess I'm going to die before anyone on TV ever learns to pronounce *fentanyl* correctly.
December 4, 2025 at 10:15 PM
I guess I'm going to die before anyone on TV ever learns to pronounce *fentanyl* correctly.
In case you're unfamiliar with my work, please allow me to reintroduce myself. Hi, I'm the undisputed king of leaning face first into the oven I just opened instead of waiting 3 seconds for that first blast of superheated air to dissipate.
November 30, 2025 at 11:34 PM
In case you're unfamiliar with my work, please allow me to reintroduce myself. Hi, I'm the undisputed king of leaning face first into the oven I just opened instead of waiting 3 seconds for that first blast of superheated air to dissipate.
A lot can happen between now and ‘28, but however it shakes out, I hope the Democrats settle on someone bold, progressive and visionary as our candidate, and whoever it is should make this their general-election campaign slogan:
Let’s Unfuck America Together
Free for the taking.
Let’s Unfuck America Together
Free for the taking.
The president is a political cartoon of corruption come to life, a gaudy grifter who is selling off pardons and lining his pockets, building a golden ballroom and protecting his fellow sex predator elites, all the while regular Americans are suffering and struggling to make ends meet.
Run on *that*
Run on *that*
November 30, 2025 at 5:08 PM
A lot can happen between now and ‘28, but however it shakes out, I hope the Democrats settle on someone bold, progressive and visionary as our candidate, and whoever it is should make this their general-election campaign slogan:
Let’s Unfuck America Together
Free for the taking.
Let’s Unfuck America Together
Free for the taking.
Not gonna lie, @profanity.accountant. 2025 feels sweary as fuck. How'm I doing?
November 30, 2025 at 6:52 AM
Not gonna lie, @profanity.accountant. 2025 feels sweary as fuck. How'm I doing?
God, sometimes I hate that I'm so good at casting, and in this case, to be clear, casting against type, but: Jonathan Groff as Hegseth in the inevitable limited series about this absolute clusterfuck we're living through.
Sorry, Groffsauce. Also: Not sorry, because you'll totally fucking crush it.
Sorry, Groffsauce. Also: Not sorry, because you'll totally fucking crush it.
November 28, 2025 at 9:49 PM
God, sometimes I hate that I'm so good at casting, and in this case, to be clear, casting against type, but: Jonathan Groff as Hegseth in the inevitable limited series about this absolute clusterfuck we're living through.
Sorry, Groffsauce. Also: Not sorry, because you'll totally fucking crush it.
Sorry, Groffsauce. Also: Not sorry, because you'll totally fucking crush it.
Hypothetically, a reporter would need to clear it first with his or her employer, which news outlet would have to be willing to have its White House access revoked, but it would take just one to say, “Mr. President, here are my press credentials. Go fuck yourself” to spark an “I am Spartacus” scene.
“You’re a stupid person” — Trump lashes out at a reporter who presses him on the fact that the suspected DC shooter was actually thoroughly vetted before he was let in the US from Afghanistan
November 28, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Hypothetically, a reporter would need to clear it first with his or her employer, which news outlet would have to be willing to have its White House access revoked, but it would take just one to say, “Mr. President, here are my press credentials. Go fuck yourself” to spark an “I am Spartacus” scene.
Introduce yourself with five concerts you’ve seen
Sting
Steely Dan
Branford Marsalis Quartet
David Bowie
The Go-Go’s
Sting
Steely Dan
Branford Marsalis Quartet
David Bowie
The Go-Go’s
Introduce yourself with five concerts you've seen
Ringo Starr
Michael Ball
Michael Crawford
Donny Osmond
The Monkees
Ringo Starr
Michael Ball
Michael Crawford
Donny Osmond
The Monkees
introduce yourself with five concerts you've seen
Depeche Mode
Nine Inch Nails
The Hooters
John Carpenter
Howard Shore
Depeche Mode
Nine Inch Nails
The Hooters
John Carpenter
Howard Shore
November 28, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Introduce yourself with five concerts you’ve seen
Sting
Steely Dan
Branford Marsalis Quartet
David Bowie
The Go-Go’s
Sting
Steely Dan
Branford Marsalis Quartet
David Bowie
The Go-Go’s
Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, uh, your opinion, Charlie Brown.
November 24, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, uh, your opinion, Charlie Brown.
Hallmark can do 30 more of these, and I for one can't wait to see two Jets fans meet cute just as they're both about to jump off the George Washington Bridge.
November 23, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Hallmark can do 30 more of these, and I for one can't wait to see two Jets fans meet cute just as they're both about to jump off the George Washington Bridge.
Literally only twice since he quit Meet the Press one of the Royal You has made a conscious effort to remind me that both-sidesing map fucker Chuck Todd still exists somewhere out there in the ether, opining to no one in particular.
Let's try to get that number down to zero. OK, kids?
Good talk.
Let's try to get that number down to zero. OK, kids?
Good talk.
The media fell in love with Trump — the most mendacious person in the world — because he gave them “interesting stories” and now they’re doing the same with her for the exact same reason
November 22, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Literally only twice since he quit Meet the Press one of the Royal You has made a conscious effort to remind me that both-sidesing map fucker Chuck Todd still exists somewhere out there in the ether, opining to no one in particular.
Let's try to get that number down to zero. OK, kids?
Good talk.
Let's try to get that number down to zero. OK, kids?
Good talk.
I just heard a co-worker say to another co-worker “I don’t seem to be able to know” which is the longest walk to “I don’t know” I’ve ever heard.
I’m astonished I didn’t hear Speaker Mike Johnson say it first.
I’m astonished I didn’t hear Speaker Mike Johnson say it first.
November 19, 2025 at 5:17 PM
I just heard a co-worker say to another co-worker “I don’t seem to be able to know” which is the longest walk to “I don’t know” I’ve ever heard.
I’m astonished I didn’t hear Speaker Mike Johnson say it first.
I’m astonished I didn’t hear Speaker Mike Johnson say it first.
Whether you love or hate Bill Clinton, you have to concede that, in the midst of a lot of lurid speculation and salacious allegations, he understands how and when to lie low and shut the fuck up.
November 16, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Whether you love or hate Bill Clinton, you have to concede that, in the midst of a lot of lurid speculation and salacious allegations, he understands how and when to lie low and shut the fuck up.
I'm still going to call it MSNBC just like I still call the jewel of the Chicago skyline the Sears Tower.
Most pointless, counterintuitive rebrand ever.
Most pointless, counterintuitive rebrand ever.
November 16, 2025 at 6:02 PM
I'm still going to call it MSNBC just like I still call the jewel of the Chicago skyline the Sears Tower.
Most pointless, counterintuitive rebrand ever.
Most pointless, counterintuitive rebrand ever.
Meet Patrick. He’s worth half a billion dollars and doesn’t own a pair of dress socks.
November 16, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Meet Patrick. He’s worth half a billion dollars and doesn’t own a pair of dress socks.
Now playing: MIDNIGHT SPECIAL (Nichols, 2016)
November 16, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Now playing: MIDNIGHT SPECIAL (Nichols, 2016)
Now playing: THE FACE OF ANOTHER (Teshigahara, 1966)
November 15, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Now playing: THE FACE OF ANOTHER (Teshigahara, 1966)
I called out of work Friday, the reason for which my employer and team need not know the specifics.
Vonnegut knows, though.
Shhhh …
Vonnegut knows, though.
Shhhh …
November 15, 2025 at 4:32 PM
I called out of work Friday, the reason for which my employer and team need not know the specifics.
Vonnegut knows, though.
Shhhh …
Vonnegut knows, though.
Shhhh …
Megyn Kelly: Sentient Dril Tweet
Megyn Kelly: "I know somebody very close to this case…Jeffrey Epstein, in this person's view, was not a pedophile…He was into the barely legal type, like he liked 15 year old girls…He wasn't into like 8 year olds…There's a difference between a 15 year old and a 5 year old."
November 14, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Megyn Kelly: Sentient Dril Tweet
Pretty sure that if you conducted a nationwide poll, you could get at least 7 out of 10 atheists to say this is reprehensible bullshit and heads should roll for it.
Oh wow @reuters.com got the photo here:
November 14, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Pretty sure that if you conducted a nationwide poll, you could get at least 7 out of 10 atheists to say this is reprehensible bullshit and heads should roll for it.
PLURIBUS: To be clear, I already loved Rhea Seehorn. Then they made her cranky.
November 14, 2025 at 10:35 PM
PLURIBUS: To be clear, I already loved Rhea Seehorn. Then they made her cranky.
Shout-out to those whimsical little imps WATER MAIN BREAKS, today's having timed itself to the precise moment in my shower when I was covered from neck to nethers in lather, leaving me at the mercy of the slow, pressureless trickle of at most a drinking glass's worth of water, like a ticking clock.
November 14, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Shout-out to those whimsical little imps WATER MAIN BREAKS, today's having timed itself to the precise moment in my shower when I was covered from neck to nethers in lather, leaving me at the mercy of the slow, pressureless trickle of at most a drinking glass's worth of water, like a ticking clock.
I have a power ranking of plausible endings to this story — admittedly rooted in hopes and dreams but also insights into human nature, for want of a better term. Some are more satisfying than others. Some are making a late surge as in the pennant races of old.
November 14, 2025 at 3:52 PM
I have a power ranking of plausible endings to this story — admittedly rooted in hopes and dreams but also insights into human nature, for want of a better term. Some are more satisfying than others. Some are making a late surge as in the pennant races of old.
But HER emails.
November 14, 2025 at 3:06 PM
But HER emails.