Aw, it makes me sad to hear you so down on yourself! Obvs I don’t know your writing but I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that. *gentle internet stranger hug*

I hope this doesn’t seem insensitive, but it’s very important for any author to learn to receive feedback, especially in trad publishing where you may have very little creative control. Part of that skill is sifting through feedback & knowing what to use and what to ignore.

I have to disagree that getting editing help invalidates the hard work you did to write it. Unless you get AI to write it for you (yuk), it’s your words and your voice and your story. Editors can help make it better, but we can’t make it good. If it’s good, it’s because you wrote a good story.

That’s an awful feeling, I’m so sorry. I can only offer what helps me at that stage, which is supportive writer friends who tell me that my writing isn’t as shit as I think and urge me to keep going.

To be clear, a good dev editor doesn’t ONLY say what’s not working. They should also point out what’s working well, AND offer ideas about how to make improvements. (Ugh, character limits are not conducive to thorough explanations.)

I’m sorry it’s feeling impossible! I totally get it. It’s hard. I know “just do your best” isn’t helpful advice, but it’s kinda all you can do outside of hiring professional help. There are self-editing guides online; Jane Friedman and Louise Harnby both have sites with a lot of great resources.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting help from a dev editor before querying if you’re feeling stuck or uncertain. Dev editors don’t rewrite your book for you, they point out what’s not working and make suggestions about how to improve it.

Of course not everyone has the budget for a pro editor, much less multiple, and some authors might do things in a slightly different order. But there are many stages of editing, and betas shouldn’t go at the very beginning or the very end.

Your book doesn’t need to be “basically perfect” for betas. Ideally you’d revise as much as you can on your own, then get a dev editor, then betas to make sure the story is working how it should. Then comes line and/or copyediting to polish the prose, and proofreading for a final error check.

To be clear, this is directed at myself as much as it is anyone else.

Slap on some avocado and a dollop of sour cream and that would be fire. Maybe a dash of Tajin?

“Stake-driving,” as in driving a stake through the beating heart of our democracy

9 years ago was when I got back into writing for the first time since college, so same basic idea. As soon as I was told that two spaces looks unprofessional I dropped them like a hot rock.