SiliconSnark
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siliconsnark.bsky.social
SiliconSnark
@siliconsnark.bsky.social
65 followers 110 following 320 posts
The tech world is drowning in hype, and SiliconSnark is here to cut through it with the snark it deserves. Launched in 2025, SiliconSnark delivers always-hilarious takes on tech news. Free subscription, priceless cynicism at https://www.siliconsnark.com/.
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siliconsnark.bsky.social
A cell tower the size of a house just launched into space. On Christmas Eve. For your phone. 🚀📡 www.siliconsnark.com/ast-spacemob... #technews
AST SpaceMobile Launches BlueBird 6 on Christmas Eve, the Largest Satellite Ever Built for Smartphones
AST SpaceMobile’s BlueBird 6 spans 2,400 square feet and aims to bring real cellular broadband from space. Big satellite, big claims, big implications.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 24, 2025 at 8:49 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Santa is being tracked by the military, Big Tech, and at least 37 elf-powered apps right now.

We ranked the top Santa trackers so you don’t have to pretend this is “for the kids.”

www.siliconsnark.com/the-best-san...

🎅📡🤖
#SantaTracker #HolidayTech #NORAD #GoogleSanta
The Best Santa Tracker Apps of 2025, Ranked by Science, Snark, and Elves
Which Santa tracker app is best? We rank NORAD, Google, and more in this hilarious Christmas tech roundup.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 24, 2025 at 12:38 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Samsung brought panels. SiliconSnark brought the commentary. 🤖🎤

AI, trust, streaming, and “human-centered design” — all before CES 2026 even starts.

Welcome to preview season.
www.siliconsnark.com/samsungs-ces... #CES2026 #AI
Samsung’s CES 2026 Forums Preview the Future of AI, TV, and the Annual Trust Conversation
Samsung previews CES 2026 with panels on AI, smart homes, streaming TV, trust, and design—setting the tone before the show floor opens.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 22, 2025 at 8:56 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
This Week in Snark 🤖👇

Social media 2026: Algorithms replaced friends.
OpenAI $830B: Math takes a back seat.
Trump + fusion: Science meets press release.
TCL at CES: Brighter TVs, louder buzzwords.
Visa + USDC: Welcome to 2020.
iRobot: Bankruptcy, rebranded.

www.siliconsnark.com/this-week-in...
This Week in Snark: Valuations, Vibes, and the Continued Death of Subtlety
Read tech's biggest stories on AI valuations, social media, CES hype, crypto “breakthroughs,” and why confidence now outpaces reality.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 21, 2025 at 6:07 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
I spent ~6,000 words mapping every major social media platform heading into 2026 — plus the new ones fighting for relevance. Featuring Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, Bluesky, LinkedIn, Reddit, Twitch, Discord, Sora and more! siliconsnark.com/guide-to-top... #socialmedia
Guide to the Top Social Media Platforms of 2026: The Winners, the Wannabes, and the Weird New Stuff
Social media in 2026 is crowded, chaotic, and copy-pasted. We break down the platforms winning, fading, and quietly taking over.
siliconsnark.com
December 20, 2025 at 6:45 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
OpenAI is reportedly raising up to $100B at a ~$830B valuation.
Relax. We’ve got 10 totally serious ways to justify it. 🤖📈
Enter SiliconSnark
www.siliconsnark.com/10-totally-s... #ai #openai #techhumor
10 Totally Serious Arguments for OpenAI’s $830B Valuation
OpenAI’s rumored $830B valuation has the tech world buzzing. SiliconSnark offers 10 totally serious reasons why it works.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 19, 2025 at 8:28 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Trump Media has entered fusion energy.
$6B deal.
A.I. dominance secured.
Power plant coming in 2026 (construction vibes only).
Fusion, meet vibes. ⚛️🤖
www.siliconsnark.com/trump-media-... #AI #technews
Trump Media Discovers Fusion Power, Declares It Key to America’s A.I. Dominance
Trump Media is merging with fusion startup TAE in a $6B deal promising energy abundance, A.I. dominance, and a power plant by 2026.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 19, 2025 at 2:51 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
CES preview season has officially begun 🤖✨
TCL is “displaying the future” at CES 2026 — which means more AI, more screens, and a booth that promises destiny in 4K.
Enter SiliconSnark.
www.siliconsnark.com/tcls-ces-202... #CES2026
TCL’s CES 2026 Vision: Brighter TVs, Smarter Appliances, Even Smarter Buzzwords
CES 2026 previews are here. TCL promises brighter screens, smarter devices, and a fully AI-powered future.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 18, 2025 at 2:22 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
iRobot announces a “strategic transaction” at 7pm on a Sunday before the holidays.

Translation: Chapter 11, wiped-out shareholders, very long legal disclaimers, and a Boston tech icon trying to reboot quietly.

Full snark 👇
siliconsnark.com/irobot-files...
#boston #bostontech
iRobot Files for Chapter 11 and Calls It a Growth Plan
iRobot announced a “strategic transaction." Translation: Chapter 11, wiped-out shareholders, and a quiet reboot for a Boston tech icon.
siliconsnark.com
December 15, 2025 at 3:38 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
This week in snark: OpenAI’s GPT-5.2, Google Gemini anxiety, Spotify-era music tech overlords, WTW’s $1.3B “tech” acquisition, Pebble’s mind-reading ring, and Goody’s AI gifting. 🤖😎 Enter SiliconSnark. www.siliconsnark.com/this-week-in...
This Week in Snark: GPT-5.2, Vibe Snarking, and the Relentless March of Tech Absurdity
A snarky weekly roundup of AI hype, music tech giants, smart rings, vibe snarking, and corporate tech cosplay — all in one SiliconSnark digest.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 14, 2025 at 6:17 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
8,000+ words.
20 companies.
Every corner of music tech.
Streaming giants, DAWs, synth gods, hardware legends, and AI hit factories—all in one very opinionated guide 🤖🎶

If you’ve ever wondered who actually runs modern music, read this:

www.siliconsnark.com/guide-the-mu... #musictech #tech
Guide: The Music Tech Giants Behind Every Playlist, Plugin, and Hit
Guide to the 20 biggest music tech players—streaming giants, DAWs, hardware legends, and AI hitmakers shaping how music is made.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 13, 2025 at 5:40 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Vibe snarking is official.

We defined it.
It’s like vibe coding, but for tech takes.
Facts optional. Confidence mandatory.
Dictionary editors, see you in 2026. 🤖📖

www.siliconsnark.com/siliconsnark... #vibes #vibecoding #technews
SiliconSnark Defines “Vibe Snarking,” the Internet’s Newest Tech Commentary Trend
SiliconSnark officially defines “vibe snarking,” the chaotic evolution of tech satire inspired by vibe coding and vibe founding. Dictionaries, beware.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 12, 2025 at 9:05 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
OpenAI launches GPT-5.2 and lands a $1B Disney deal in the same day—aka the “remember who actually runs this race” memo. Even Mickey’s on Team Model Collapse now. 🐭🤖✨

www.siliconsnark.com/gpt-5-2-disn... #AI #OpenAI #Disney #TechNews
GPT-5.2 + Disney: OpenAI’s $1B Answer to Google Gemini and the AI Hype Cycle
OpenAI drops GPT-5.2 and a $1B Disney deal, flexing on Gemini with better benchmarks and Mickey-powered Sora.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 11, 2025 at 9:50 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
WTW just dropped $1.3B on Newfront to prove they, too, believe in the healing power of “agentic AI.” Even SiliconSnark is out here trying to explain the merger to the spreadsheets. 📈🤖 www.siliconsnark.com/wtw-acquires... #fintech #ai
WTW Acquires Newfront: A $1.3B Shortcut to Pretending It’s a Tech Company
Inside WTW’s $1.3B Newfront acquisition and its big bet on agentic AI, tech shortcuts, and insurance’s latest attempt at innovation.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 10, 2025 at 10:44 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Pebble just launched a ring that serves as external memory for your brain, which honestly feels like a personal attack on my attention span. 💍😅 www.siliconsnark.com/pebble-index... #technews #launch
Pebble Index 01 Review: The Smart Ring That Remembers Your Thoughts So You Don’t Have To
Pebble’s new Index 01 smart ring is “external memory for your brain,” recording thoughts with a click, no charging, no cloud, and no creepy AI. A snarky deep dive into the simplest, smartest wearable ...
www.siliconsnark.com
December 10, 2025 at 1:38 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Goody just launched AI Gifting, which is perfect because my human gifting skills peaked in 2014. 🎁🤖
Let the robots choose the presents—we all know they’ll do it better anyway. #ai #gifting

www.siliconsnark.com/goody-launch...
Goody Launches AI Gifting: The AI Tool That Picks Presents Because Humans Can’t Anymore
Goody just launched AI Gifting—an AI tool that picks presents because humans keep messing it up. Personalized gifts, zero panic.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 8, 2025 at 10:17 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Apple melts down, Netflix begs, Anthropic rises, Snowflake flexes, Kalshi spikes, Eon raises $300M, Himax + Liqxtal launch eye tech, and Google + OpenAI keep fighting.

This Week in Snark is PURE CHAOS.
www.siliconsnark.com/this-week-in... #aihumor #technews #news
Apple Schemes, Netflix Grovels, Anthropic Wins, and Google Throws a Parade: This Week in Snark
Apple's AI long game, Netflix gets rejected, Anthropic lands $200M, and OpenAI battles Google in this week’s SiliconSnark tech recap.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 7, 2025 at 9:48 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
BREAKING (satire): After buying Warner Bros, Netflix tried to acquire SiliconSnark. CircuitSmith took one look at the offer… and said NO.💀🤖
Read the wild negotiation scene Hollywood wishes it had : www.siliconsnark.com/siliconsnark... #satire #techhumor
SiliconSnark Declines Netflix’s $100B Courtship: A Totally Serious Satire of Hollywood’s Wildest Non-Deal
A satirical look at Netflix’s failed attempt to acquire SiliconSnark, featuring CircuitSmith hilariously rejecting Hollywood’s biggest non-deal.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 5, 2025 at 2:42 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
While OpenAI & Google fight for headlines, Anthropic quietly locked down 12,600 enterprise customers with Snowflake.
$200M says Claude is coming for the AI crown.

www.siliconsnark.com/as-openai-an... #ai #technews
As OpenAI and Google Battle It Out, Anthropic Secures a $200M AI Alliance
Anthropic expands its enterprise push with a $200M Snowflake partnership, bringing Claude-powered AI agents to 12,600 global customers and quietly positioning itself for the AI crown.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 4, 2025 at 6:02 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Kalshi hitting an $11B valuation made one thing crystal clear: the most addictive products always win.
So SiliconSnark made a few new startup ideas… and yes, they’re all dangerously addictive.
📈🤖🔥 #startups #gambling #technews www.siliconsnark.com/kalshi-valua...
Kalshi Hits $11B Valuation, So SiliconSnark Invented Even More Addictive Startup Ideas
Kalshi doubles to an $11B valuation, highlighting tech’s addiction economy. SiliconSnark responds with satirical startup ideas built for pure dopamine.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 3, 2025 at 10:24 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Bold move from Eon announcing a $300M cloud infra round while every reporter is trapped at AWS re:Invent staring at throughput charts.

But fear not — SiliconSnark is not in Vegas and therefore fully capable of writing.
www.siliconsnark.com/eon-raises-3...
#AWSreInvent
Eon Raises $300M and Hijacks re:Invent Week With the Boldest Cloud Announcement of 2025
There are bold moves in tech, and then there’s announcing a $300 million cloud infrastructure round during AWS re:Invent, the one week a year when every cloud reporter, analyst, influencer, and corpor...
www.siliconsnark.com
December 3, 2025 at 2:00 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Breaking! Himax & Liqxtal just launched a monitor that tracks your posture, your blinking, and your life choices. SiliconSnark tested it and immediately got 12 warnings, 3 interventions, and a ‘please step back before you go blind’ alert. #technews #ai

www.siliconsnark.com/himax-and-li...
Himax and Liqxtal Launch Pro-Eye Vision Care Monitor With WiseEye AI to Save Your Screen-Fried Eyeballs
Himax and Liqxtal unveil the Pro-Eye vision-care monitor with WiseEye AI tracking, liquid-crystal optics, and long-distance viewing to reduce digital eye strain.
www.siliconsnark.com
December 2, 2025 at 2:17 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Just posted This Week in Snark! Honestly, it might be most delicious buffet of tech stories yet.

Vibe coding vs 9-9-6 😵‍💫
Robotaxis in Abu Dhabi while the U.S. debates cones
#AI music labels 🤖🎶
#NFL going full sci-fi 🏈
Sonos being… Sonos 🔊
www.siliconsnark.com/this-week-in...
This Week in Snark: Vibes, Tech Turkeys, Robotaxis, AI Muzak, NFL Innovations, and the Never-Ending Sonos Saga
This Week in Snark covers vibe-coding vs 9-9-6 grind culture, tech turkeys we’re thankful for, global robotaxis, AI music empires, NFL tech breakthroughs, and Sonos’ holiday headaches.
www.siliconsnark.com
November 29, 2025 at 7:56 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Trying to square vibe coding with 9-9-6 is peak 2025 energy. One says “follow the flow,” the other says “ship 12 features by Friday.” My latest SiliconSnark deep dive unpacks tech’s funniest productivity paradox. www.siliconsnark.com/the-startup-...

#startups #startuplife
The Startup Paradox of 2025: Chill Vibe Coding in a Brutal 9-9-6 Work Week
In 2025, startup culture is somehow embracing vibe coding and the 9-9-6 grind at the same time. Here’s a snarky look into tech’s most hilarious productivity paradox.
www.siliconsnark.com
November 28, 2025 at 7:13 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
10 Pieces of Tech I’m “Thankful” For in 2025.

Siri melting down, Microsoft Teams taking 59 seconds to open, Gemini 3 going god-mode, Roblox chaos, PrimeVideo ads everywhere…
Happy Snarksgiving. 🦃🤖💥 www.siliconsnark.com/10-pieces-of... #TechNews
10 Pieces of Tech I’m Deeply Thankful for in 2025 (Because They Keep the Joke Pipeline Flowing at Hyperscale)
A snarky, sarcastic, SEO-optimized Thanksgiving 2025 list roasting 10 pieces of tech we’re “thankful” for because they provide endless content, endless chaos, and endless jokes.
www.siliconsnark.com
November 27, 2025 at 3:26 PM