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SimpsonsQOTD

@simpsonsqotd.bsky.social

12K followers 510 following 1.1K posts

Ah! I love these lazy Saturdays.

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · Feb 17

"Oh, will this horrible year never end?"

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 10h

"We're in pursuit of two female suspects.
One is wearing a green dress, pearls and has a lot of blue hair."

"A lot of blue hair?! Hahaha! What a freak!"

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 1d

"Why don't we all take a five-minute break?
It'll clear our heads."

"Good idea, Marge.
My mind is going a mile a minute."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 2d

"Tonight, on Guinness book of world records:
A man who holds the current record
for least amount of faces, with none!"

"Help me!"

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 3d

Bart! NO!

SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 3d

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 4d

“Video taping this crime spree is the best idea we ever had!"

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 5d

"Relax. I'm just boning up on the old constitution."

"You're going to regret that, pinko.
Oh, I am so sick of people
Hiding behind the bill of rights.
Look, he got chocolate on it."

"I didn't mean to."

"Mm-hmm. You just licked off the part
that forbids cruel and unusual punishment."

"Beautiful."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 6d

I" can't believe auntie Gladys is really gone.
Her legend will live forever."

*Yeah, the legend of the dog-faced woman.*

"Legend of the dog-faced woman.
Oh, that's good."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 7d

"Hey Einstein, put down your reading. It's lunch time."

"Naw, you go ahead."

"You don't wanna eat? What did you do?
Get one of them stomach staples?"

As Tolstoy said in Quotable Notables,
"Give me learning, sir, and you may keep your black bread."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 8d

"No, we're not worried. Our customers buy
Duff for its robust taste not its alcoholic content.
I predict our new alcohol-free Duff Zero
will sell even better than our previous brand.
Well, that's the end of me."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 9d

"Now, what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?"

"Mountain dew or crab juice."

"Blech! Ew! Geez! I'll take a crab juice."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 10d

“Slow down. The sidewalk's for regular walkin', not for fancy walkin'."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 11d

"Mojo! What have they done to you?!"

"Pray... For... Mojo."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 12d

"Hello. What's this?
Wire hangers, expired medicine, old newspapers...
Okay, Homer, stay calm.
Just quietly get this stuff inside your house."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 13d

"Barney, where's my car?"

"Well, all I remember about the last two months
Is giving a guest lecture at Villanova...
or maybe it was a street corner."

"So you lost my car, eh?
Well, that's just grand.
I ought to punch you in the nose
but I have to pick up my kids at school."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 14d

"Oh. What's this strange sensation in my chest?"

"I think your heart's beating again."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 15d

"What is this place?"

"Branson, Missouri.
My dad says it's like Vegas
If it were run by Ned Flanders."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 16d

"And this is for my huggy bug
in honor of this special day."

*"Special day?
Is it bacon day?
No, that's crazy talk.
She's getting impatient.
Take a stab at it."*

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 17d

"My quarter! Aagh!"

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 18d

"Where's Homer?
Oh, and to think I spent all afternoon
baking him this cake.
I pickled the figs myself."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 19d

"National Fatherhood Institute. Please hold.
♪ And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon ♪
♪ Little Boy Blue and the Man on the Moon ♪
♪ When you comin' home, Dad? ♪
♪ I don't know when... ♪ "

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 20d

"Read your town charter, boy.
'If foodstuff should touch the
ground, said foodstuff shall be
turned over to the village idiot.'
Since I don't see him around, start shoveling."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 21d

"I bring you love."

"It's bringing love!
Don't let it get away!"

"Break its legs!"

"It's not a monster. It's Mr. Burns."

"Aw, it's Mr. Burns.
Kill it! Kill it!"

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Reposted by SimpsonsQOTD

SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · Sep 25

"Ah! I love these lazy saturdays."

"It's wednesday, homer."

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SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 22d

"So I said if this is the House of Pancakes,
how come I can't eat the walls?"

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