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Sir Michael

@sirmichael.bsky.social

16K followers 220 following 1.7K posts

Creator of the Sturdy Wheelbarrows podcast and the grandson who continues to be persecuted for wearing jean shorts to his grandad's funeral :(

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Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 3h

It's so unfortunate that everyone has this unfortunate perception of me. I mean, I totally get it but it's just such a curse being a beefcake like me :(

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 3h

Not sure, tbh. I could email and ask, though. Would be good to get clarification on these issues.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 3h

This is on me. I should have asked Jen more questions that you want information about. If you write out a list of door-based questions, I'm sure Jen will be delighted to hear from me and provide answers.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 4h

I hope so. I'm a good judge of these things and I really feel like Jen enjoyed chatting with me just as much as I enjoyed chatting with Jen.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 4h

A former teacher of mine once told me that there are no stupid or unnecessary questions and I carry those words of wisdom with me every day online

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 1d

Not sure. Is his first name Geoffrey? If not this reduces the chances significantly.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 1d

That's not what I've heard. I've heard he's a good man who's handling the fund very legitimately and it's not his fault that the one survivor who tried to claim the money went to the wrong address and he can't be blamed for having two Uncle Geoffreys.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 1d

She's excluded from consideration as she has a totally inexplicable vendetta against me just because of all the terrible things I've accidentally done to her

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 1d

This is going to be so inconvenient for me. I usually like a quiet Christmas at home spent not fighting criminals to the death. Very frustrating.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 1d

If you ask me, that charity is very dubious. The employee in the village shop who's allegedly responsible for "ripping her off" has a very respectable 71% record of charging customers the correct price and he's done a lot of good work in the community and he would rather not be blamed for things.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 1d

Some people are saying I did it to promote harmony across all the bird species. Others are saying I forgot this plot point. We can't know for sure who's right.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 2d

I understand your frustration but it's your own fault for not establishing a charity for people who can only do 45° head turns (on a good day). If you had, over 99c would be yours right now.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 2d

I know it may seem extravagant but philanthropy is just so important to me. I just love to give something back to the community

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 2d

I mean, I guess I hadn't thought of it like that. But again, I'm sure they're doing something of value and it would be wrong for me to get ALL the credit... wouldn't it?

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 2d

I'd rather not say

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 2d

Oh no! I'm so embarrassed 🙈 This is not what I was expecting to happen at all. But please send me copies of their essays about me, thanks in advance.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 2d

Oh no, this is embarrassing 🙈 Word has got out about my donation of over €0.99 to the local owl sanctuary. I must have forgotten to tick the “Anonymous” box by accident 🤦‍♂️ Now everyone's hailing me as a hero. Please, everyone, this isn't about me! The staff at the sanctuary have done just as much!

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 3d

I totally understand. Thank you for letting me know.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 3d

Thank you for this incredible opportunity. You won't regret it. I've already delegated the booking of our lunch to the successful businessperson I've just hired.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 3d

Successful business people have been gatekeeping this information from unsuccessful business people for too long. With this guide, not being successful in business will finally be a thing of the past.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 4d

Here's your next lesson in becoming a successful businessperson. Always reject the first offer:

No, thank you. I will instead offer you a compromise price of €101.01

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 4d

Firstly, Pam, I must compliment you on your choice of office decor. It looks spectacular. Secondly, yes.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 4d

I'm going to pitch it to my publisher first thing on Monday morning. They'd be fools to turn this opportunity down.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 4d

You've stuck to your principles. That's much more important in business than nebulous concepts like profits, revenues and not going bankrupt.

Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 4d

This is a DISASTER. I'm going to be in so much trouble at tomorrow's weekly family game of Ultimate Vanquisher 😡