If people think taxes lower prices, I can’t imagine what other recreational fuckheadery they’re into.

Tell your nominee to promise that he or she will give themselves board seats on insurance companies.

It'll be a fucking calamity or historic proportions, but Holy Christ, will it be popular!

The rule of law is dead, anyway. You may as well get something out of it.

Can't they figure out that I'm trying to give cancer the biggest head start I can? I've been ignoring flaky white skin above my eyebrow for 6 years.

I wouldn't have these problems if the government was smaller.

The only difference between Washington and Caracas is that Hugo Chavez was sent to prison.

Saying that the only thing that George W. Bush and I had in common was an immediate sense of revulsion at the physical existence of Ted Cruz is off-the-fucking-charts mean, but it's also something you can actually look up, and it probably just made you giggle.

And if you're reading this and you're not Canadian or over 50, you might just look up who these people are, which means that othering rhetoric just made you smarter.

Can you name five other things that have done that lately?

Othering rhetoric is awesome. Grow up.

For example, I'm not sure rhetoric can be more "othering" than my referring to Melissa Lantsman as "Millennial Shelia Copps," but I'm equally unsure that it can be accurate, as any Canadian over 50 can tell you.

Is it impolite? Absolutely. Is it sexist? Sure, but only mildly. But it is accurate.

A lot of fancy-pants economists are probably out there thinking that Trump can't drive Treasury bond yields to 7%.

Not only do I think that they're wrong, I'll bet Donald can do it by this time next year!

I wish I were kidding, but sometimes I feel like the story of my adult life is watching Americans turn everything they touch into the O.J. trial.

I'm not complaining. It's unbelievable television. Way funnier than the fall of the Soviet Union!