Free speech means I should be invited to your party

Just found a poem I wrote in my phone notes 5 years ago

I love you like an English boy loves saying “I reckon”.

Does this make Nikki Haley second to none?

Even if clinking your glasses to cheers wasn’t such a well established thing, I bet it would keep being spontaneously invented most nights. I believe humans have an innate cin cin instinct.

So far in my short career as a husband I learned that if you’re going to start a sentence with “technically” you’re better off just not saying it at all.

What breakfast cereal and panettone have in common is that, as a society, we pretend that they both come in cardboard boxes, in apparent denial of the interior plastic bag that does the actual work of keeping them fresh. In this essay…

Only now realising that many people think Marilyn Monroe did a version of Santa Baby (she didn’t). I suspect they conflate it with „Happy Birthday, Mr President” for the same brat/daddy energy.

Can you imagine what it must’ve felt like for the first person to figure out that you can boil an egg?

And now we’re over to our 5-year-old-boy-interests correspondent, reporting from Gdańsk, Poland, where apparently there’s a cement mixer truck on a canal barge

Some hard-hitting gonzo journalism from The Times today

Monday, back at it. We can do this.

Ubiquitous piss bottles is not an element of life in 2023 that I saw coming. If someone had told me about it 15 years ago, I would’ve been like “wot?”