Slug Fest Stories
@slugfeststories.bsky.social
Milkshakes always taste better with a burger. This was the opinion of Carl and he was always right. No matter the subject Carl had an opinion and you’d better believe you’d be sharing it by the end of the night. Only one man, a monk, argued with him and won. He celebrated with burger and milkshake.
November 6, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Milkshakes always taste better with a burger. This was the opinion of Carl and he was always right. No matter the subject Carl had an opinion and you’d better believe you’d be sharing it by the end of the night. Only one man, a monk, argued with him and won. He celebrated with burger and milkshake.
Budd had two tattoos on his forehead. One was a rose with 3 petals and the other was a snake coiled around an egg. When his mother saw what he’d done she put away the lipstick and committed to a life of denial. Budd felt no guilt and even went so far as to get a third tattoo of a clown on his chin.
November 6, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Budd had two tattoos on his forehead. One was a rose with 3 petals and the other was a snake coiled around an egg. When his mother saw what he’d done she put away the lipstick and committed to a life of denial. Budd felt no guilt and even went so far as to get a third tattoo of a clown on his chin.
A man wearing pyjamas and crazy hair was shopping for cucumbers in aisle 6. Denny took a Polaroid snap and stuck it in his scrap book. Opposite this latest shot was a doodle of a king sitting under a rainy sky. Maybe it’s just me but the king’s crown looked a bit like a crow’s nest full of red ants.
November 6, 2025 at 10:38 PM
A man wearing pyjamas and crazy hair was shopping for cucumbers in aisle 6. Denny took a Polaroid snap and stuck it in his scrap book. Opposite this latest shot was a doodle of a king sitting under a rainy sky. Maybe it’s just me but the king’s crown looked a bit like a crow’s nest full of red ants.
One golf club swung then you run for the hills. Kitchen window cracked and little Jimmy knew his father would give his arse a good lashing. Nevermind, at least he still had the letters from Mary Sue promising fun and frolics on the isle of Munroe. Sunshine and rainbows awaited but first Daddy’s belt
November 6, 2025 at 10:32 PM
One golf club swung then you run for the hills. Kitchen window cracked and little Jimmy knew his father would give his arse a good lashing. Nevermind, at least he still had the letters from Mary Sue promising fun and frolics on the isle of Munroe. Sunshine and rainbows awaited but first Daddy’s belt
Jim Slaggers was on his 12th woman of the week. He liked them chesty, in fact, the more packets of Marlboro they smoked the more aroused he became. Something about the tar filled cough of a woman so enamoured him that he often spent days sitting in hospital wards seeking out the ill and infirm.
May 3, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Jim Slaggers was on his 12th woman of the week. He liked them chesty, in fact, the more packets of Marlboro they smoked the more aroused he became. Something about the tar filled cough of a woman so enamoured him that he often spent days sitting in hospital wards seeking out the ill and infirm.
Swigging wine straight from the bottle often causes a rush of blood to the right ear which can only be cured by a shot of cognac. Spencer learnt this the hard way when he had to endure an evening listening to Mozart with a throbbing right ear. He’d be exclusively sipping from a decanter from now on.
April 27, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Swigging wine straight from the bottle often causes a rush of blood to the right ear which can only be cured by a shot of cognac. Spencer learnt this the hard way when he had to endure an evening listening to Mozart with a throbbing right ear. He’d be exclusively sipping from a decanter from now on.
Marcy had been set up for a blind date by her best friend, Jean. She showed up smart casual with a bit of cleavage on display, but Ahab appeared with long mullet and six inch heels with tilted beret. “You’re beautiful,” she gushed as Ahab flashed a gap toothed smile. They never went on the 2nd date.
April 27, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Marcy had been set up for a blind date by her best friend, Jean. She showed up smart casual with a bit of cleavage on display, but Ahab appeared with long mullet and six inch heels with tilted beret. “You’re beautiful,” she gushed as Ahab flashed a gap toothed smile. They never went on the 2nd date.
Asa shaved his head for the first time and noticed a rather large heart shaped birthmark which had been hidden behind his left ear. His girlfriend gave it a lick and said she thought it proved he was an angel. Asa couldn’t wait for the hair to grow back so he could hide his so called angelic nature.
April 27, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Asa shaved his head for the first time and noticed a rather large heart shaped birthmark which had been hidden behind his left ear. His girlfriend gave it a lick and said she thought it proved he was an angel. Asa couldn’t wait for the hair to grow back so he could hide his so called angelic nature.
After finally beating a 14yr dependency on Valium, Randall found he could no longer read his beloved tarot. He pulled out a card. “The Fool,” he whimpered between drooling lips. He was sure it had something to do with his latest addiction, blue cheese on toast. 14yrs later and he’d prefer Gruyère.
April 27, 2025 at 12:50 AM
After finally beating a 14yr dependency on Valium, Randall found he could no longer read his beloved tarot. He pulled out a card. “The Fool,” he whimpered between drooling lips. He was sure it had something to do with his latest addiction, blue cheese on toast. 14yrs later and he’d prefer Gruyère.
There’s a dog with dyed pink fur on my estate. It looks a bit like a cat but because of the fur gets confused for a small boy or girl. One elderly gentleman offered it a boiled sweet out of a paper bag, but the dog just tried humping the confused pensioner’s leg. “Bit young for that,” he thought.
April 27, 2025 at 12:23 AM
There’s a dog with dyed pink fur on my estate. It looks a bit like a cat but because of the fur gets confused for a small boy or girl. One elderly gentleman offered it a boiled sweet out of a paper bag, but the dog just tried humping the confused pensioner’s leg. “Bit young for that,” he thought.
Brighton Bobby was a right rotter. Long ginger hair, luscious painted lips and a goatee that was half black and half silver, he fitted right in with the crowd at Club 33. “Three cockles and a pound of grapes,” he shouted at the bar man as a whiskey chaser was poured on his head. Very clean indeed.
March 2, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Brighton Bobby was a right rotter. Long ginger hair, luscious painted lips and a goatee that was half black and half silver, he fitted right in with the crowd at Club 33. “Three cockles and a pound of grapes,” he shouted at the bar man as a whiskey chaser was poured on his head. Very clean indeed.
A surfer bum with long sun bleached hair and beard was walking along the beach holding an umbrella. Behind him was a small grey alien with what looked like a laser gun. The stoner looked at the alien, laughed, then karate chopped it on the neck before slamming the umbrella into its face. Far out.
February 6, 2025 at 3:15 PM
A surfer bum with long sun bleached hair and beard was walking along the beach holding an umbrella. Behind him was a small grey alien with what looked like a laser gun. The stoner looked at the alien, laughed, then karate chopped it on the neck before slamming the umbrella into its face. Far out.
“The Future Humans” were a comedic sketch quartet headed by the mysterious Alfred Silver. Conspiracy theories persisted that Alfred had actually travelled back in time from the year 3033 in order to fulfil a life long yearning to be a jobbing comedian. They’re a bit like Monty Python but Canadian.
February 5, 2025 at 4:31 PM
“The Future Humans” were a comedic sketch quartet headed by the mysterious Alfred Silver. Conspiracy theories persisted that Alfred had actually travelled back in time from the year 3033 in order to fulfil a life long yearning to be a jobbing comedian. They’re a bit like Monty Python but Canadian.
An elderly gentleman with long grey hair and beard was queuing up to buy a ticket for the new Daredevil film. 3 kids behind him, sporting a variety of Nike tracksuits and trainers, were eating pick n mix when he turned to them and did a rather loud belch. It smelt of his lunch, which was beef jerky.
February 4, 2025 at 4:04 PM
An elderly gentleman with long grey hair and beard was queuing up to buy a ticket for the new Daredevil film. 3 kids behind him, sporting a variety of Nike tracksuits and trainers, were eating pick n mix when he turned to them and did a rather loud belch. It smelt of his lunch, which was beef jerky.
A mannequin dressed in high heels and a leather thong was catching the attention of passers by on Winapel St. The window dresser, Ben, thought maybe it would be a good idea to give “Reggie,” as he called her, a pipe. Two weeks later and they’d sold out of vapes and licorice all sorts. 101 marketing.
February 4, 2025 at 3:15 PM
A mannequin dressed in high heels and a leather thong was catching the attention of passers by on Winapel St. The window dresser, Ben, thought maybe it would be a good idea to give “Reggie,” as he called her, a pipe. Two weeks later and they’d sold out of vapes and licorice all sorts. 101 marketing.
Ernest Flambéed was North Carolina’s wealthiest communist. He was trying to create his own personal militia, which would be peopled with a mix of Ku Klux Klan members and one time hippies who still hated the man. He wanted to call it “The Repo Men” but this didn’t prove popular with members. Drat!
February 4, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Ernest Flambéed was North Carolina’s wealthiest communist. He was trying to create his own personal militia, which would be peopled with a mix of Ku Klux Klan members and one time hippies who still hated the man. He wanted to call it “The Repo Men” but this didn’t prove popular with members. Drat!
Cheryl was watching Karate Kid 3 for what must have been the 25th time. She’d always had a crush on Daniel and would often fantasise about being put through torturous training regimes by him. When the film had finished she went and ordered a karate self help manual off Amazon. So many creeps around.
February 4, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Cheryl was watching Karate Kid 3 for what must have been the 25th time. She’d always had a crush on Daniel and would often fantasise about being put through torturous training regimes by him. When the film had finished she went and ordered a karate self help manual off Amazon. So many creeps around.
50s Hollywood star, Gabe Demoore, was a known communist sympathiser, at least, according to Oscar winning actress, Estelle Brice, he was. She testified and so after his last big box office hit, Sweet Nothings, Gabe was blacklisted and had to take up a job as a plumber. Even his kids shunned him.
February 4, 2025 at 1:50 PM
50s Hollywood star, Gabe Demoore, was a known communist sympathiser, at least, according to Oscar winning actress, Estelle Brice, he was. She testified and so after his last big box office hit, Sweet Nothings, Gabe was blacklisted and had to take up a job as a plumber. Even his kids shunned him.
Floating above his dying body, Miguel was sure he was having a near death experience. He looked at the doctors and nurses, but all he could focus on was how large his ears seemed to be. “Blimey, have I really had such huge jugs my whole life?!” He swore if he lived he’d have them pinned back.
February 4, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Floating above his dying body, Miguel was sure he was having a near death experience. He looked at the doctors and nurses, but all he could focus on was how large his ears seemed to be. “Blimey, have I really had such huge jugs my whole life?!” He swore if he lived he’d have them pinned back.
Jenny had a fascination with what she was doing whilst she was asleep. So obsessed was she that she hired a private detective to sit outside her house between 3 and 5am just to make sure she wasn’t sleep walking naked through the streets. Needless to say, he kept her secrets to himself.
February 4, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Jenny had a fascination with what she was doing whilst she was asleep. So obsessed was she that she hired a private detective to sit outside her house between 3 and 5am just to make sure she wasn’t sleep walking naked through the streets. Needless to say, he kept her secrets to himself.
The madman was abusing Mother Nature once again. He cocked his leg against a tree, pulled up a few dandelions and screamed bloody murder at the moon. It wasn’t long before Percy was back in the arms of his lover, sharing a mug of green tea and marshmallows. He roars only in sunlight, never at night.
February 3, 2025 at 6:22 PM
The madman was abusing Mother Nature once again. He cocked his leg against a tree, pulled up a few dandelions and screamed bloody murder at the moon. It wasn’t long before Percy was back in the arms of his lover, sharing a mug of green tea and marshmallows. He roars only in sunlight, never at night.
The Moors were fighting hard against Templars Jack and Jill. One of them had a long beard and shaved head, which is a rather interesting story of its own. That night, Jill undressed for her captor and revealed a belly button pierced with lead. Needless to say she slept alone. Never was a snorer.
February 3, 2025 at 6:11 PM
The Moors were fighting hard against Templars Jack and Jill. One of them had a long beard and shaved head, which is a rather interesting story of its own. That night, Jill undressed for her captor and revealed a belly button pierced with lead. Needless to say she slept alone. Never was a snorer.
Alfred was a robotic drone pilot for the US airforce. He’d recently had a dream he was flying over a huge statue of a goose eating cheese. When he awoke he turned to his sleeping partner and whispered “who knew?” She replied in her sleep, “only the best of men and all the dirty animals.” Hmmm ok.
February 3, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Alfred was a robotic drone pilot for the US airforce. He’d recently had a dream he was flying over a huge statue of a goose eating cheese. When he awoke he turned to his sleeping partner and whispered “who knew?” She replied in her sleep, “only the best of men and all the dirty animals.” Hmmm ok.
Dennis was looking for cough medicine in the local pharmacy. He’d rushed down in his dressing gown after waking with a spluttering fit which caused him to cough up half a lung of black tar. He ended up taking a spoonful of rhubarb concentrate which he’d read was good for this sort of thing.
February 3, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Dennis was looking for cough medicine in the local pharmacy. He’d rushed down in his dressing gown after waking with a spluttering fit which caused him to cough up half a lung of black tar. He ended up taking a spoonful of rhubarb concentrate which he’d read was good for this sort of thing.
Pascal was whispering words of love to his spaghetti bolognese. He’d read that if you did this the water content in any meal would be zapped full of positive ions thus helping the body stay young and supple. “You are my favourite precious.” The tomato based sauce glowed as it slopped onto the plate.
February 3, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Pascal was whispering words of love to his spaghetti bolognese. He’d read that if you did this the water content in any meal would be zapped full of positive ions thus helping the body stay young and supple. “You are my favourite precious.” The tomato based sauce glowed as it slopped onto the plate.