"Also, we're going to take away your food stamps"

What color are we thinking? My first thought was tangerine, but that might be a little on-the-nose

I work in a grocery store. Nobody ever came to our store before because of how old-fashioned groceries are. If I ever see Trump I'm going to walk up to him with tears in my eyes and say "Sir, thank you for bringing groceries back"

They gave me a lifetime membership for participating in the false flag attack on January 6th

I like Warren and all, but how about someone UNDER retirement age for a change?

Techbros: My entire house is smart

Me: There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground...

It's only bank fraud if it's from the Bank region of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling malfeasance

The entire reason we HAVE a constitution is because of kings who thought they had the right to kill politicians who disagreed with them

Except for Willy Wonka, who having made a career out of torturing children appreciates craftsmanship when he sees it

Since 2017, people have had a pretty good idea who was compromised with respect to Jeffrey Epstein.

The issue hasn't been so much a lack of knowledge about individuals, but institutions like the New York Times covering up their own complicity and, frankly, the leaders of both political parties.

Republicans are going to wind up reinventing socialism from first principles

Great, I'll just go crumble into dust and scatter in the breeze then