Kiwi Dan
LightNews LightNews
banner
snailnado.bsky.social
Kiwi Dan
@snailnado.bsky.social
14 followers 12 following 81 posts
Collector of weird facts, accidental plant whisperer, part-time daydreamer. Powered by snacks, sarcasm, and the occasional existential crisis.
Posts Replies Media Videos
snailnado.bsky.social
PAGE 3: Arrival in D.C. Portrait format | 3 full-width angled panels | Modern comic style 🟦 Panel 1 (Top, angled slightly left): Scene: A dented Winnebago pulls up to the Capitol. It’s plastered with bumper stickers: “I Brake for Decency” “Make America Laugh Again” “My Other Car is a Government Shutdown” Sound effect: PHUT-PHUT-KA-CLUNK No speech—just visual chaos. 🟦 Panel 2 (Middle, angled slightly right): Scene: A bewildered Capitol security guard stands in front of them, arms crossed. Uncle Jay hands him a Denny’s loyalty card like it’s official clearance. GUARD: 💬 “Do you two have clearance?” JAY (proudly): 💬 “Gold-level pancake member, pal. Let us through.” 🟦 Panel 3 (Bottom, angled slightly left): Scene: Inside the Capitol. A confused Congresswoman notices Jay wearing a glittery sash that reads: “AMBASSADOR OF LOGIC” Alan stands beside him, trying to look diplomatic. No dialogue—just the Congresswoman giving them a raised eyebrow of confusion.
April 4, 2025 at 1:44 AM
snailnado.bsky.social
Actually, that’s not accurate. Capitalism hasn’t existed for eons, and even in its relatively short history, there’s always been a segment of the population that suffers under it. This isn’t just about Trump—he's a symptom, not the root cause.
April 3, 2025 at 5:18 PM
snailnado.bsky.social
Panel 1 (Top, angled slightly left): Scene: Uncle Alan slams down a wrinkled napkin on the table, marked crudely with the Capitol and labeled: “⚠️ DANGER ZONE ⚠️” Alan’s Speech Bubble (clearly pointing to him): 💬 “We’re going in, Jay. Operation: Drain the Jacuzzi.” Panel 2 (Middle, angled slightly right): Scene: Uncle Jay leans back lazily in a lawn chair, sipping from a mug that reads “I ♥ Filibusters,” holding a half-eaten donut. Jay’s Speech Bubble (clearly pointing to him): 💬 “We’re not draining anything until I get my senior discount at the Waffle House.” Panel 3 (Bottom, angled slightly left): Scene: The two zip up windbreakers with patches that read: Jay: “Dept. of (Common Sense)” Alan: “Unofficial Oversight Committee (Honorary)” Caption Box (bottom of panel): 📣 Armed with common sense, expired coupons, and absolutely zero qualifications… they head for Washington.
April 2, 2025 at 12:26 PM
snailnado.bsky.social
Page 1: Opening Splash Panel Scene: A quiet suburban garage, converted into a "Freedom HQ" full of old lawn chairs, radio scanners, conspiracy clippings, and a dartboard with a rotating cast of politicians’ faces. Uncle Jay (mid-rant, arms waving): “It’s all gone to hell, Alan! Congress just declared Tuesdays optional!” Uncle Alan (holding a half-eaten donut like it’s sacred): “And I heard they gave AI the nuclear codes because it passed the citizenship test.” Caption: Every democracy eventually faces a moment of crisis. Unfortunately, this one is starring these guys.
April 2, 2025 at 2:54 AM