People trying to drag you because you find art/communities encouraging genuinely abusive thought patterns is wild to me.

Same as art containing gore to me. Huge difference between art made to vent/share experiences and help people not feel alone vs communities specifically designed to encourage self harming behavior and homocidal/suicidal behavior. Such things affected me personally. Your take is extremely reasonable.

My dumb ass literally went 'I wish I were a girl' so many times and then one day I stumbled onto a subreddit for trans people and it blew my mind and absolutely obliterated my fragile egg ToT

Lol I remember when I was doing the exact same thing in Pokemon when I was like 7. In Black and White I was presented with the 'boy or girl' choice and I sat there for a while until deciding on girl. Every time I played a 'male' character in a game I would feel weird and restart with the fem option.

I went from never really crying to crying nearly daily! After years out and on hrt, I feel a better balance and freedom. Life is hard, but it is a lot better than it was. We've got this.

I feel you. Take care <3