To quote @lukeplunkett.com :

usually putting glasses over the headband helps. but my head is Large (it's where I store my knowledge) and they squeeze me too much. so i usually just give up

cute btw but i see someone asking how to keep things on their head i black out and share my advice

bobby pins

This whole section really.

it's all either "save the kids" or "you should get heterosexually married"