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spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Spamusement!
@spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
1 followers 0 following 26 posts
Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!
By Steven Frank unless otherwise indicated.
https://web.archive.org/web/20200415101153/http://www.spamusement.com/
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spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
They hold a whole lot of it

October 13, 2004
Spamusement #100: They hold a whole lot of it A person lifts a baby overhead, and the baby projectile vomits a massive stream of liquid directly onto the person's face.
December 20, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
a hot jack hammer rocked the hell out of Minnie

October 18, 2006
Spamusement #328: a hot jack hammer rocked the hell out of Minnie A police officer stands behind tape labeled "POLICE LINE," looking pensively at a tiled wall. A jackhammer is embedded in the wall, surrounded by a massive dark splatter, with a large pool of liquid on the floor below.
December 19, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
U are Stupid Dumbass If U Pay Retail Price For Softwares mentioned

October 1, 2004
Spamusement #88: U are Stupid Dumbass If U Pay Retail Price For Softwares mentioned Four software boxes sitting on a shelf. The top left title is "Virtual Gout" above a frowning face. Top right is "Attempt to Learn Guitar Then Give Up." Bottom left is "Pawn of The Man" featuring a sinister figure in a suit. Bottom right is "Omar Sharif Strip Poker" with a photo of the actor next to playing cards.
December 18, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
making whoppy have never been this staisfying

October 22, 2004
Spamusement #109: making whoppy have never been this staisfying Carrot Top is punched hard in the face by a fist from the right, accompanied by the text "WHOPPY!"
December 17, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Its a total invasion of privacy!

October 28, 2004
Spamusement #115: Its a total invasion of privacy! A camera viewfinder perspective from inside a mouth, looking out at teeth and a tongue as a toothbrush scrubs. The recording overlay text reads REC, TOOTHBRUSH CAM, and HARDCORE DENTAL ACTION.
December 16, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
New High tech product thats sure to please

February 22, 2005
Spamusement #198: New High tech product thats sure to please A black silhouette of a person dancing against a green background in the style of an iPod advertisement, but instead of a music player, they wear a small white toaster around their neck and eat a slice of toast. The caption reads: 2 slices. In your pocket.
December 15, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
We called you 7 times

March 7, 2005
Spamusement #205: We called you 7 times Commissioner Gordon stands with his hands on his hips, frowning at a sheepish Batman who is nervously touching his fingertips together in front of a dark city skyline with rising smoke.
December 14, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
why your computer is running slow

July 16, 2004
Spamusement #6: why your computer is running slow An open desktop computer tower filled with a large lump labeled "Mashed Potatoes what the"
December 13, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
You have been chosen to win a free cruise!

August 26, 2005
Spamusement #279: You have been chosen to win a free cruise! An unamused elderly woman with glasses stands in a doorway looking at the actor Tom Cruise, who is standing outside in a suit and tie, smiling broadly and waving.
December 12, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Life is like a coin

November 24, 2004
Spamusement #144: Life is like a coin A coin with a profile silhouette next to handwritten text reading "Small, round, and 95% zinc."
December 11, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
today is the day

August 31, 2004
Spamusement #57: today is the day A manic man runs with outstretched finger toward a wall-mounted button labeled "ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PUSH" while two panicked figures chase after him.
December 10, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
the best cure for depression, smile

October 10, 2004
Spamusement #97: the best cure for depression, smile A man in the bottom right corner of a vast white void wears a strained, pained grin with wide eyes and sweat drops.
December 9, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Look out for your Family

September 27, 2004
Spamusement #84: Look out for your Family A menacing family—father, mother, and daughter—advances with raised claw-like hands and blank stares toward two terrified, screaming figures in the foreground.
December 8, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Olsen Twins use online Pharmacy

July 23, 2004
Spamusement #18: Olsen Twins use online Pharmacy Two smiling skeletal figures with shoulder-length hair sit side-by-side at a desk facing a computer monitor.
December 7, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Would you let me in your dreams

March 9, 2005
Spamusement #207: Would you let me in your dreams A sleeping person dreams of a smiling, shirtless man wearing an inner tube, arm floaties, and flippers standing next to a penny-farthing bicycle.
December 6, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
show em all what you can do

January 28, 2005
Spamusement #182: show em all what you can do A small boy in a baseball cap looks up at a tall man in a top hat and asks, "Hey mister wanna hear me pop my shoulder." In the second panel, the boy rapidly pops his shoulder repeatedly with sound effects while the man looks at him sideways with a disturbed expression.
December 5, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Oprah's Secret Diet?

November 8, 2004
Spamusement #127: Oprah's Secret Diet? Two angry pterodactyls screech over an empty nest while a smiling Oprah Winfrey holds a fork and knife next to a plate containing two fried eggs.
December 4, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
This is faster than I thought it would be

February 23, 2005
Spamusement #199: This is faster than I thought it would be Santa Claus clings desperately to the rear runner of his flying sleigh, dragging behind in the air as a reindeer pulls the empty vehicle through a snowy night sky.
December 3, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Hola!

May 2, 2005
Spamusement #234: Hola! A smiling person in a bathrobe opens a refrigerator to reveal a mustachioed man inside wearing a sombrero and playing a guitar.
December 2, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
HOW TO MAKE MONEY WITH STOCKS

May 13, 2005
Spamusement #239: HOW TO MAKE MONEY WITH STOCKS A man sits in an armchair reading a newspaper under a banner that reads SMILESVILLE DAYCARE. Beside him stand two wooden stocks, medieval punishment devices used for restraining captives.
December 1, 2025 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Pyrex is the obvious choice for adult pleasure.

November 7, 2005
Spamusement #303: "Pyrex is the obvious choice for adult pleasure.". A person laughs hysterically while another person presses their face against the bottom of a clear rectangular glass baking dish, squishing their nose and mouth against the surface.
November 30, 2025 at 10:00 AM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
this might be a perfect fit

March 11, 2005
Spamusement #209: this might be a perfect fit
November 29, 2025 at 5:55 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
TURISMO DE AVENTURA !!!

September 5, 2004
Spamusement #62: TURISMO DE AVENTURA !!!
November 29, 2025 at 5:51 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
do you like fat ponies?

November 11, 2004
Spamusement #130: do you like fat ponies?
November 29, 2025 at 5:51 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
An Email From God!

November 17, 2004
Spamusement #137: An Email From God!
November 29, 2025 at 5:50 PM