Andrew Shaw
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spartacusmills.bsky.social
Andrew Shaw
@spartacusmills.bsky.social
The history books will have to be rewritten. They’ll simply say John Major punched the Queen. Everything else will be a footnote.
Bands are just not hot like this anymore
February 3, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Well if that doesn’t win him the Nobel Peace Prize I don’t know what will.
Trump: "Because of the cold -- extreme cold -- I personally asked President Putin not fire on Kyiv and the cities and towns for a week. He agreed to do that."
January 29, 2026 at 5:45 PM
Reposted by Andrew Shaw
After Suella Braverman's defection, 12.5% of Reform UK MPs have been photographed stepping on a guide dog
January 26, 2026 at 1:17 PM
I’m getting the feeling that we should probably pass on the mad right wingers at the next election.
January 24, 2026 at 7:48 PM
Basically the worst people in the world then. I hear Genghis Kahn, Vlad the Impaler and Chris de Burgh are also in the frame.
BREAKING: Israel’s ‍Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu ⁠has accepted an invitation from United States ​President Donald ‍Trump to join the “Board of ⁠Peace” aje.news/hw7tfo
January 21, 2026 at 7:42 AM
Yes how dare they build something illegally on the West Bank. Don’t they know the rules?
Palestinian football pitch faces Israel demolition ultimatum
The football club is ordered to remove the pitch, which Israel says was illegally built, or have it torn down.
www.bbc.co.uk
January 20, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Reposted by Andrew Shaw
A very happy birthday to Tom Baker
January 20, 2026 at 7:42 AM
Ack so what. He can have my 20 metre swimming certificate if he likes. It doesn’t mean he completed five minutes of furious doggie paddling at Harpenden Swimming Baths in 1987 does it? They can’t take that away from me.
A very embarrassing day for the world
January 15, 2026 at 10:22 PM
The transfer window gets crazier every season
BREAKING: Nigel Farage confirms that Robert Jenrick has defected from Tories to Reform UK - the most high profile defection yet.

He says Jenrick wasn't planning to join Reform UK any time soon and "might not have joined at all... you never know until the deal is signed".
January 15, 2026 at 5:09 PM
Alternatively you could say they beat a team 13 places above them on penalties. Literally.
January 10, 2026 at 10:10 AM
Looking forward to our Smokie’s Greatest Hits inspired away kit for next year. #bcafc
January 9, 2026 at 7:42 PM
Reposted by Andrew Shaw
Things are awful, so a little treat for the real Crush-Heads. It is now eleven years since I got this printed in the Metro.
January 8, 2026 at 4:54 PM
What a quirky little headline BBC. Which wealthy pensioner could be next in Harold Shipman’s sights?
January 5, 2026 at 8:14 PM
Reposted by Andrew Shaw
No reason, just LOL.

Prints of this @daveyjones.bsky.social banger are available from philiplarkin.com/product/lark...

#poetry #philiplarkin #viz #space #doom
January 5, 2026 at 1:28 PM
Such a weird response. Apparently freedom of speech means you have to post on every platform going. In which case please look out for my latest updates on Bluesky, Mumsnet and the classified ads section of The Watchtower
Cabinet Office Minister Baroness Anderson tells the Lords the Government will keep on using X.

"I still believe that X is an appropriate platform to use because I believe in freedom of speech..."

"It is incredibly important that there is a counter narrative on those platforms," she says.
January 5, 2026 at 4:53 PM
So it’s 150k for the penis. It’s normally 50 each for the testicles but if you want both I’ll do it for 75 and throw in a spare glans. That’s my best offer.
Dr Oz: "The creation of a penis costs on average in America $150,000 per child ... if you add testicles, that's extra"
December 18, 2025 at 6:54 PM
I really want to say something insightful and witty here but I just can’t get beyond ‘Jeez what a horrible sad old twat’
This is both disgusting and expected.

The Scumbag-in-Chief
December 15, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Reposted by Andrew Shaw
If handing someone their arse, was a video clip
December 12, 2025 at 8:12 AM
I must have skipped the ‘obsessed with Hitler’ phase of my teenage years. Monster Munch and Beth from Neighbours possibly but never Hitler.
December 10, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Oh good. An ‘Immigration Special’. About time we heard more about immigration. No one ever seems to mention it these days.
December 4, 2025 at 11:35 AM
‘My lovely horse
Running through the fields
Where are you going with your fetlocks blowing in the wind?’
November 23, 2025 at 5:29 PM
I’m really enjoying all those who lecture us about patriotism taking such a firm stand in favour of our national broadcaster. Oh hang on….
November 11, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Reading The Guardian in Wetherspoons like the intriguing man of contradictions that I am.
November 8, 2025 at 9:32 AM