Sperkplerg
@sperkplerg.from.wtf
63 followers 100 following 930 posts
Hooray. What fresh new hell do we get today?
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 1d
Embrace the suck.

This is about keeping some level of healthcare for ALL of us, not just you.

Refuse unconstitutional orders in the meantime, FFS.

Recognize, you're obeying a tyrant.
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 1d
Never, ever...

EVER refuse funnel cake.

Life is unpredictable.
1
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 1d
* Billions it doesn't have.

Altman knows this is a bubble. He's just maximizing his precollapse take.
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 1d
Know how to get your employees to disengage?

Do a mandatory "one-time" rif of 10 percent across the board to please shareholders, then do it again in 4 months.

Then do it again in another 4 months.

Yogurt has more culture than the American workplace.
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 3d
Cola: purveyor of divine fashion
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 4d
Know that phrase "The bigger they are, the harder they fall"?

Man, I really hope that rings true in this case.
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 5d
I might be misremembering this, but I'm pretty sure I surfaced at home with these in 1987.

Mom trashed/recycled these (and gave me the what-for), but I keenly remember an assertive recruitment for auto-tech bottom-dwellers like I *may* have been back then.

It is, indeed, a trap.
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 5d
So, wait a second. "Sticks" Noem here had to take a dump, and unlike the rest of us who brave the usual roadtrip Denny's horror show, she needs local cops to provide her a private powder room/botox shoot-up nook?

Shut the fuck up, and shit like the rest of us, Barbie.

Oh, and fuck you.
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 6d
That's called "piracy" if we're being honest about it.
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 7d
Color me crazy, but what if you proposed legislation to withhold pay from tyrannic military forces?

Gosh. That might actually work, huh?

What we need is a military willing to say no.

What we don't need is this "made-for-tik-tok" bullshit.

Lead, or get the fuck out of the way.
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 7d
Go, bees. Go!
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 7d
click to full size.

Count the bees.
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 7d
Seriously. You killed children.

You earned those nightmares.
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 7d
The "get" here is that none of these people actually *know* what happened.

Ever-alert sheepdogs, my fat ass.
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 7d
Ragdoll crawls *into* your skin once feeling better
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 7d
So, you're sure it'll even work?
1
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 7d
Watch the business idiots blow each other over their perceived greatness.

None of these flaccid fucks have ever rolled up their sleeves and done ANY work.

Fuck McKinsey and Fuck Forbes.

Robber barons.
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 8d
Rereading that, it wouldn't be egg salad. It'd be dipshit gravy.
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 8d
Can you imagine putting in sufficient time and effort to excel in the leadership of the military, then having to listen to pisshead Pete tell you you're falling short?

I'm surprised one of these guys didn't get up and turn Hegseth into egg salad while the crowd cheered.
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 9d
is it 'Hasbro's 'Hypertension?'"

I fucking love hitting the floor only to come back to free cheeseburgers.
1
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 9d
I _did_not_ expect to get hit so hard by news of Dolly Parton's hopefully temporary health decline.

I can't land what affects me so much, but I know I admire her genuine approach, and her kindness. Her range is other-worldly.

Besides that, wtf? This bums me out deeply.

Get better, Dolly. Dammit.
1
Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 9d
Mainlining "Greatest hits before 1990."

This woman's voice is a damned weapon.
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 9d
Teeing up "Islands in the stream" to make myself feel better.
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 9d
Goddammit.

Fight back, Dolly.

I think we need you.
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Sperkplerg @sperkplerg.from.wtf · 9d
Someone fucked in the head in MoCo? I am shocked.

Evil douchebag.