Imagine going to bed at 00:45 after a heavy night of banana old fashioneds and Bridesmaids to find your bed is still stripped from good intentions the day before

Post pub trip to Farmfoods

Heard the worst pep talk in the gym: “If you don’t put the effort in you’re going to hate the way you look when you look in the mirror every morning.”

After a severe fork shortage in the house impacting the ability to serve up tea, I asked my eldest to check her school bag. She pulled out eight dirty forks and four spoons.

Setting an alarm to pluck my eyebrows tomorrow

The trigger button on the vacuum won’t work and now I am spiralling

Refreshing my emails every minute or so to see if tradesmen on Checkatrade are interested in my job on a Saturday night.

I’ve had enough of Pringles. That’s how much I’ve eaten this evening.

I think I’d better shave my legs

Bought a microwave this week after 14 years of not having one. My children are very excited at this technological advancement. Boy microwaved his glass of milk before bed. Said it was now room temperature.