and then theres the deep sleep dreams where its like 99% first person experiencing the whole thing first hand with often crazy realism (at least to my dream brain) mixed with my occasional recurring dream power. and last night it took till like 9am to get to a first person dream.

surface level sleep/dreams and the deep sleep/dreams. when i'm struggling to sleep the dreams are like 2d stuff. scrolling social media or reading discord or even watching a video, and as of a few days ago playing age of empires. stuff that in my brain hierarchy does feel like, lower tier somehow

and didn't realize how dependent i am on alcohol for falling deep asleep. like falling asleep sober from booze even with a lot of weed last night i would wake up every 2 hours and didn't get a deep sleep till hours later. and i've started to notice this weird dichotomy between the (contd)

aough

***half

super worried i won't get my license in time before mom has to go up to edmonton for the pre-transplant bootcamp

it wasn't sexy or arousing btw that's not what i mean. just me lying there thinking "PLS DON'T THINK I'M A PERVERT WEIRDO FOR GETTING THIS TEST" while she probably looked at the 4th penis she'd examined that day thinking "huh. they're not usually on girls. oh well."

thanks dawn i'll keep that in mind and try to swing by soon ☺️