@stayferalsam.bsky.social
Thinking about the time my step-dad saw my stash of pads and asked me how many periods I was planning on having this year.
12. The answer is 12.
12. The answer is 12.
December 24, 2025 at 7:19 AM
Thinking about the time my step-dad saw my stash of pads and asked me how many periods I was planning on having this year.
12. The answer is 12.
12. The answer is 12.
Dear pomegranates, why you gotta be like that?
December 24, 2025 at 5:05 AM
Dear pomegranates, why you gotta be like that?
Need to relieve some holiday stress? Smash some candy canes like they insulted your family. And since you don’t want to waste them, you could sprinkle them over some warm brownies. And now you have some newly bedazzled brownies, so eating some might also be nice. How’s your holiday stress now?
December 8, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Need to relieve some holiday stress? Smash some candy canes like they insulted your family. And since you don’t want to waste them, you could sprinkle them over some warm brownies. And now you have some newly bedazzled brownies, so eating some might also be nice. How’s your holiday stress now?
When someone tells me they are gluten free.
December 4, 2025 at 5:26 AM
When someone tells me they are gluten free.
Everyone I buy presents for got an advent calendar this year (if you haven’t looked at advent calendars recently, there are some really cool ones).
They’re all enjoying starting them today, and I’m enjoying being done with Christmas shopping.
They’re all enjoying starting them today, and I’m enjoying being done with Christmas shopping.
December 1, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Everyone I buy presents for got an advent calendar this year (if you haven’t looked at advent calendars recently, there are some really cool ones).
They’re all enjoying starting them today, and I’m enjoying being done with Christmas shopping.
They’re all enjoying starting them today, and I’m enjoying being done with Christmas shopping.
I was giving my nephew a piggy back ride and he said I smelled like Lifesavers. This is also the child that refuses to tell me he loves me, so I’ll take what I can get.
December 1, 2025 at 2:57 AM
I was giving my nephew a piggy back ride and he said I smelled like Lifesavers. This is also the child that refuses to tell me he loves me, so I’ll take what I can get.
Talking to my grandma about how she’ll be 95 in a few months, and she said, “That’s an f***ing big number.” Yes it is gram, yes it is.
November 28, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Talking to my grandma about how she’ll be 95 in a few months, and she said, “That’s an f***ing big number.” Yes it is gram, yes it is.
My mom has basically become an Etsy shop in retirement. Need something sewn, crocheted, cut out, or crafted? She’s your gal—just send her a text and consider your “order” placed.
November 27, 2025 at 5:26 PM
My mom has basically become an Etsy shop in retirement. Need something sewn, crocheted, cut out, or crafted? She’s your gal—just send her a text and consider your “order” placed.
We tried an ice-skating date night. The moment we stepped onto the ice, we transformed into newborn giraffes who had zero business being there. Festive? Yes. Worth the risk of a potential ER copay? Absolutely not.
November 23, 2025 at 5:56 PM
We tried an ice-skating date night. The moment we stepped onto the ice, we transformed into newborn giraffes who had zero business being there. Festive? Yes. Worth the risk of a potential ER copay? Absolutely not.
I bought matching holiday sweatshirts for a boyfriend who broke up with me before I could give his to him. I kept them, hoping I’d someday have the right person to share them with. Two years later, I finally do.
November 22, 2025 at 6:38 AM
I bought matching holiday sweatshirts for a boyfriend who broke up with me before I could give his to him. I kept them, hoping I’d someday have the right person to share them with. Two years later, I finally do.
He said holding the umbrella for me while I was getting in the car made him feel like he was escorting a celebrity. I joked, “No photos, please,” trying to play it cool — but inside, I couldn’t stop smiling at how sweet he is and how special he makes me feel.
November 4, 2025 at 5:45 AM
He said holding the umbrella for me while I was getting in the car made him feel like he was escorting a celebrity. I joked, “No photos, please,” trying to play it cool — but inside, I couldn’t stop smiling at how sweet he is and how special he makes me feel.
My nephew was chowing on snacks in the back seat and, very matter-of-factly, said, “You can eat this,” when he noticed the GF label on his fruit snacks. Thanks for looking out, kiddo.
November 4, 2025 at 1:29 AM
My nephew was chowing on snacks in the back seat and, very matter-of-factly, said, “You can eat this,” when he noticed the GF label on his fruit snacks. Thanks for looking out, kiddo.
Tried playing “I Spy” with my nephew… but he insisted on using a Donald Duck voice the whole time. 10/10 chaos. 🦆
November 3, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Tried playing “I Spy” with my nephew… but he insisted on using a Donald Duck voice the whole time. 10/10 chaos. 🦆
Driving my 9-year old nephew home while he was reading the different holidays on the calendar app. I had to figure out what a few of the holidays were that he was pronouncing like Hankawaka (Hanukkah) and Kawasaki (Kwanza).
October 20, 2025 at 4:47 AM
Driving my 9-year old nephew home while he was reading the different holidays on the calendar app. I had to figure out what a few of the holidays were that he was pronouncing like Hankawaka (Hanukkah) and Kawasaki (Kwanza).
I’m eating ice cream while unloading the dishwasher and it feels like a win-win.
October 6, 2025 at 1:51 AM
I’m eating ice cream while unloading the dishwasher and it feels like a win-win.
To all the ladies on the dating app who went for the tech bro instead of the teacher—thank you for overlooking him. As Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman: “Big mistake. Big. Huge.”
September 28, 2025 at 8:57 PM
To all the ladies on the dating app who went for the tech bro instead of the teacher—thank you for overlooking him. As Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman: “Big mistake. Big. Huge.”
Thank you, brain, for taking a tiny dead spider in my bed and producing a nightmare where thousands swarmed out of the walls and trapped me in a hallway like it was an escape room designed by Satan.
September 27, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Thank you, brain, for taking a tiny dead spider in my bed and producing a nightmare where thousands swarmed out of the walls and trapped me in a hallway like it was an escape room designed by Satan.
Saw a dog furiously digging a hole at the dog park and that is the kind of DPE I am here for.
September 27, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Saw a dog furiously digging a hole at the dog park and that is the kind of DPE I am here for.
Congrats to my friend celebrating her 40th wedding anniversary. She got one of the good ones, and she still knows it to this day.
September 22, 2025 at 4:56 AM
Congrats to my friend celebrating her 40th wedding anniversary. She got one of the good ones, and she still knows it to this day.
I got roasted by an 8yo. He shared a nugget life hack, then said he thinks reheated burgers taste better. I told him he had a lot of life hacks, and he said that wasn’t a life hack, that was just heating things up. The backseat exploded into giggle.
Kids 1, Auntie 0.
Kids 1, Auntie 0.
September 16, 2025 at 2:35 AM
I got roasted by an 8yo. He shared a nugget life hack, then said he thinks reheated burgers taste better. I told him he had a lot of life hacks, and he said that wasn’t a life hack, that was just heating things up. The backseat exploded into giggle.
Kids 1, Auntie 0.
Kids 1, Auntie 0.
Thank you to the two men who pointed me in the right direction when I was unbelievably lost trying to get back to the highway from my hike. May the good karma follow you into the woods on whatever adventure you’re about to take.
September 16, 2025 at 2:24 AM
Thank you to the two men who pointed me in the right direction when I was unbelievably lost trying to get back to the highway from my hike. May the good karma follow you into the woods on whatever adventure you’re about to take.
I’m about 5 years away from the steep, metal, spiral steps being dangerous instead of novel.
September 15, 2025 at 5:10 AM
I’m about 5 years away from the steep, metal, spiral steps being dangerous instead of novel.
If someone asked me to send them a nude, I’d just send them a drawing of a stick figure. It’s close enough.
September 10, 2025 at 5:11 AM
If someone asked me to send them a nude, I’d just send them a drawing of a stick figure. It’s close enough.
I bought the biggest, most beautiful cauliflower I’ve ever seen. Thank you to the organic farmer that grew this beauty. My stomach thanks you as well.
September 8, 2025 at 4:06 AM
I bought the biggest, most beautiful cauliflower I’ve ever seen. Thank you to the organic farmer that grew this beauty. My stomach thanks you as well.
My niece is slowly befriending the neighborhood cats at her dad’s new place. She promised she isn’t feeding them, they just come around because they like her. Probably true, we all really like her too.
September 8, 2025 at 4:05 AM
My niece is slowly befriending the neighborhood cats at her dad’s new place. She promised she isn’t feeding them, they just come around because they like her. Probably true, we all really like her too.