We once organized a clown-themed party for our newspaper’s annual Best of issue. We had to really beg the nice clowns to participate since they were morally opposed to scary clowns. We compromised by creating entirely separate areas for them to be. Puddles, who identifies as a sad clown, performed.

Before the skip intro option existed, my teenager binged Friends one summer and I never wanted a feature to exist more. That theme song, every 20 minutes for weeks. Maddening.