My big desire is to be selfless, but there's nobody around that I would trust not to abuse me.

kill the part of you that calls your art "content"
kill the part of you that sees creating for fun as "unproductive"
kill the part of you that craves "number go up"
kill the part of you that thinks you're not a "real creator"
kill the part of you that sees praise as "forced"

I've been playing games. It's my holiday time.

Watching games: feels good, is mostly a waste of your time.
Playing games: feels challenging, sometimes hard, is likely a fun way to exercise mind.

When I don't have something to look forward to, I'm not happy enough to be your something to look forward to.

I think I am tired.

I've been practicing not caring about things that aren't my responsibility, as I have an irregular schedule and intensive work and I have to plan my rest, but now everything seems optional. Hanging out with online friends? Optional. Long distance relationship? Optional. Computer brain goes brrrr.

My upbringing was full of people who told me how to feel ("you're doing dishes -wrong-", "that school is -good-, don't even look at the others") instead of telling me how to accomplish things ("here, try it like this instead").

Sitting in front of Blender first time in a year. Going to make some thunderfull landscape

Teaching is going to be my favourite activities at work for sure.

Self reminder: Don't push myself.

What is up with me? I had a whole day off and I didn't even fire up my PC. I'm tired of the games I used to play, I don't have a programming project for fun right now. Life took me for a big spin but I'm back.

Hey bsky, you are now my listener friend and I'll tell you things that I think about during my days.