The visceral, silent rage that ignites me when people's arses bump Mango's buggy hood on the bus is really quite invigorating

Writers: yes, you are still a "real" writer if you
- have never published anything
- have no readers
- didn't write anything this month
- didn't write anything this year
- can't articulate words anymore
- can only float and mournfully wail
- were murdered ten years ago on this very spot

do we spitsie over the duvet when there's a perfectly clean muslin right there oh yes we did *under breath* shit

My partner moved my cat off his lap and George (my cat) emitted what could only be described as the cat version of a yell at the audacity of it all - a sound I have never heard - prompting him to say that ‘now you know how they talk to me when you’re not around. They just yell at me all the time’

Cat makes loud noise. I silently flail my hands at him and make eyes at the briefly peaceful Moses basket. He thinks this is a game and makes more noise. I die inside and consider another coffee.

Can someone enable me and tell me it's a good idea to spend a score on two fleece duvet covers please

I mean look at the money I've saved while having to preserve the sanctity of my milk and eschew wine *cough increasingly expensive cheese buyer cough*

I thought milk baths were meant to be a luxury, she whimpers in the kitchen at half 4 in the morning while warding the cats off from her soggy t shirt

Outside having a vape and there's a cacophony of crackling through the baby monitor, oh my God, has Mango turned into a furnace or something? No, the cat is sitting on it.

Mango has some kind of sniffle which apparently will only cease either when I'm holding her upright or when we relocate to the living room and I down a extra strong coffee so I don't fall asleep holding her.

I'm torn between worry and quietly banging my head against the wall.

the cats stole my side of the sofa so I moved Lemony off and was about to relocate Sirius but then my husband said he was going on the balcony so I could borrow his side and fuck me, the BETRAYAL on Lemony's face when I left his brother sleeping and sat next to him

bad cat mum

Optimist: The cup is half full

Pessimist: The cup is half empty

Breastfeeding parent: *feels boobs* The left one is empty, the right one is full.

well I guess that's a no on the making myself a coffee during a nap then and a yes on the am I the cat's bitch

I'm going to either suggest a cream based carbonara for dinner or repeatedly use the word 'diaper' instead of 'nappy' this evening to make him realize the error of his ways

Husband is stuck in 2.5 miles of standstill traffic to get into shopping centre to fix a socket for work. I don't know what's worse, the fact that Black Friday has infiltrated our queue obsessed country making the queues even longer or the fact the bastard used the word 'mall' when telling me this.

Everybody is either eating or napping now so it’s time to admit that every Matrix movie was good.

And of course the cats pick feeding time at the finally relieved zoo, when me and baby are summarily stranded on the sofa I recently decided I hate, to remind me why my ex pretended to be allergic to them

Baby going to get a new fur coat for Christmas at this rate

Mango has been trying to sleep shit since 7.13. I'd say she gets more done in her sleep than I do when I'm awake but here we are still waiting and I've done laundry, cooked and eaten an omelette and asked the cats WHY while leaking milk everywhere in the meantime so that's not technically accurate.