SvetBeard
@svetbeard.bsky.social
<statement that is both profound and utterly generic>
Inventor of the giraffe guillotine: “They said it was useless. They said I was mad! I’ll show them and their little necks too!”
January 2, 2026 at 3:52 PM
Inventor of the giraffe guillotine: “They said it was useless. They said I was mad! I’ll show them and their little necks too!”
I’d like to see an AI deliver a steaming pile of bullshit one-tenth as masterful as this. Good work! A+!
December 24, 2025 at 10:23 PM
I’d like to see an AI deliver a steaming pile of bullshit one-tenth as masterful as this. Good work! A+!
Sell them with guns and call it a “chest holster.” Those rights are sacred 🤬
December 19, 2025 at 2:31 AM
Sell them with guns and call it a “chest holster.” Those rights are sacred 🤬
If he’d tried to rename it to the “Trump-Lincoln Memorial” or the “Trump-Washington Monument” it would be gauche and ignored. This is the exact same thing.
December 18, 2025 at 8:12 PM
If he’d tried to rename it to the “Trump-Lincoln Memorial” or the “Trump-Washington Monument” it would be gauche and ignored. This is the exact same thing.
My area has had a bus driver shortage in recent years too.
December 17, 2025 at 5:20 PM
My area has had a bus driver shortage in recent years too.
The word “novella” evolved from a contraction of the words “no vellum” since longer works were produced on vellum.
December 17, 2025 at 1:47 PM
The word “novella” evolved from a contraction of the words “no vellum” since longer works were produced on vellum.
Unfortunately, the originalist Supreme Courts has held that emoluments only count if paid in gold dubloons, “cheques” written with a quill, or stacks of beaver pelts. Sorry!
December 15, 2025 at 8:50 PM
Unfortunately, the originalist Supreme Courts has held that emoluments only count if paid in gold dubloons, “cheques” written with a quill, or stacks of beaver pelts. Sorry!
That would explain my sudden urge to buy 10 of the latest iPhone…
December 14, 2025 at 8:58 PM
That would explain my sudden urge to buy 10 of the latest iPhone…
How do you know if you skipped that part?
December 14, 2025 at 8:52 PM
How do you know if you skipped that part?
It’s hard to pickup sub-text if you don’t read the text.
December 14, 2025 at 8:49 PM
It’s hard to pickup sub-text if you don’t read the text.
This is clearly someone who’s never spoken with a 6-year old.
December 13, 2025 at 4:58 PM
This is clearly someone who’s never spoken with a 6-year old.
Exactly. Although, now that I look more closely, it looks like a chunk of onion that fell out of the food processor…
December 10, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Exactly. Although, now that I look more closely, it looks like a chunk of onion that fell out of the food processor…
It’s a cousin to that one piece of fuzz and the vacuum cleaner.
December 10, 2025 at 8:57 PM
It’s a cousin to that one piece of fuzz and the vacuum cleaner.
Except that it’s this: youtu.be/yfM13RnN7qw
A-Goong Went the Little Green Frog
YouTube video by The Countdown Kids - Topic
youtu.be
December 10, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Except that it’s this: youtu.be/yfM13RnN7qw
The best is that in my car about 60% of the time when I get in and start up, my iPhone will switch from audiobook, podcast, Pandora, or anything and jump to loudly playing the first “A” song in my library. It’s inconsistent so I can’t figure out why.
December 9, 2025 at 11:27 PM
The best is that in my car about 60% of the time when I get in and start up, my iPhone will switch from audiobook, podcast, Pandora, or anything and jump to loudly playing the first “A” song in my library. It’s inconsistent so I can’t figure out why.
My Costco membership is starting to feel like a better investment in democracy and rule of law than giving to candidates…
December 2, 2025 at 5:03 PM
My Costco membership is starting to feel like a better investment in democracy and rule of law than giving to candidates…
Best to avoid the baggage fee and just carryon your traveler privilege.
November 29, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Best to avoid the baggage fee and just carryon your traveler privilege.
There are two extra letters in that “onto.”
November 27, 2025 at 2:34 PM
There are two extra letters in that “onto.”
St. Louis area about 20 minutes ago:
November 12, 2025 at 3:00 AM
St. Louis area about 20 minutes ago:
All good negotiators know that the first step is to give away all your leverage.
November 10, 2025 at 3:58 PM
All good negotiators know that the first step is to give away all your leverage.
Maybe typewriters could make a comeback…
October 28, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Maybe typewriters could make a comeback…
As soon as the AI is finished ironing out the design. For some reason, the current plans show the sphere with a right hand that has 11 fingers on it.
October 13, 2025 at 2:50 PM
As soon as the AI is finished ironing out the design. For some reason, the current plans show the sphere with a right hand that has 11 fingers on it.
Late 80s or early 90s there was a brief fad for a device called “The Revenger.” It was a black box that looked a bit like a radar detector. It had three buttons that made the appropriate sound when pressed, “Machine Gun,” one I forget, and “Death Ray.” They should make that a standard dash feature.
October 8, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Late 80s or early 90s there was a brief fad for a device called “The Revenger.” It was a black box that looked a bit like a radar detector. It had three buttons that made the appropriate sound when pressed, “Machine Gun,” one I forget, and “Death Ray.” They should make that a standard dash feature.