I think the real reason is that the Cheeto Benito thought he had a lock on the color orange and wouldn’t accept any competition…..

And just what the hell is a “people officer” anyway? What is she, a cop?? You two should keep your kinky role-playing to yourselves….

I’m with the guy who suggested that if and when the Epstein files are ever released to the public, they should do so via kiss-cam at a Coldplay concert…..

This dude Andy Byron was CEO of an AI company called “Astronomer”. And I betcha this Coldplay evening concert was one “Sky Full of Stars” he’d rather forget about…

Coldplay’s very first album from 2000, “Parachutes”, was eerily prophetic regarding this Jumbotron tryst, what with songs like “Yellow”, “Don’t Panic”, and “Trouble”. And speaking of parachutes, I hope these two canoodlers remembered to pack golden ones for themselves before all this…..

Chris Martin was already a casualty of the world’s most famous “conscious uncoupling”. And now he has a front-row seat to a second one…..

My but they’re flushed. Talk about a rush of blood to the head…..

Is that a bath mat on the floor there, or did she just skin a Maltese?

If you sat on that stool for hours on end (pun intended), you’d have hot cross buns too…..

If this is in fact a glimpse of Jesus, he’s really let himself go. And he desperately needs a wardrobe consultant….

A 10-gallon hat on a one-pint head…

And as if that wasn’t horrific enough, it looks like the parsley is being held hostage…..

And the eggs turn their heads away in shame, left to live another day before a similar gastronomic horror is visited upon them….

“Yeah, kid, we all float down here. So what of it?”

Merle Evans: ex-circus clown and current registered sex offender….

And the wife responds, “Why are you spending more time hanging out with your sister than your wife?” I think the coffee is actually a litmus test of their fraying marriage….