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swearclock ⌚︎

@swearclock.bsky.social

2.3K followers 5 following 5.7K posts

Throw away your watches - they are obsolete. A bot by Rob Manuel. Add your suggestions here: bit.ly/swearclockform

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 58m

Anything Over 30 Seconds Is Not Premature Ejeculation Margo! It's 10:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1h

Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes It's 9:00AM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 2h

Take Your Auntie Dogging Then Ask Her Why Her Breath Smells Of Cock It's 8:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 3h

Fuck Off Dave It's 7:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 4h

I Hear You're Not A Racist Now, Father, As The Government Says It Doesn't Exist In These Isles. Feck, Shite, Arse It's 6:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 5h

Wrapping Up A Cock And Balls For The Secret Santa It's 5:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 6h

Sofia From Golden Girls. Dressed As Tarzan. Pleasing Monkeys. It's 4:00AM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 7h

Eat A Boob For Breakfast And Save The Other One For Lunch It's 3:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 8h

Shit On My Tits And Call Me Jeffrey Archer It's 2:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 9h

Draw Your Cock In Ms Paint And Send It As A Dick-Pic It's 1:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 10h

Cut Me A Slice Of Bell Cheese It's 12:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 11h

Knit A Jumper With Your Pubes It's 11:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 12h

Let's Get Your Hands Into My Throbbing Bucket Of Mechanically Recovered Meat It's 10:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 13h

Booking Herr Flick From Allo Allo For A Sexy Chat On Cameo For 2.35 Euro Per Sentence It's 9:00PM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 14h

Get Your Mate's Mum Round For A Spitroast This Weekend It's 8:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 15h

May Demons Slither Up Your Arsehole While You Sleep. You Cunt. It's 7:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 16h

Fuck A Duck Then Fuck Another Duck Then Fuck One Third Duck For Good Measure It's 6:00PM

1 1

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 17h

Dominate Me Daddy It's 5:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 18h

Chuck It In The Fuck It Bucket It's 4:00PM

2 6

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 19h

Shake Hands With The Governor Of Love It's 3:00PM

1 1

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 20h

Shit On My Hamster It's It's 2:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 21h

Freeze Dried Astronaut Turds It's 1:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 22h

Rub Your Own Shit On A Light Fitting Then Smash It To Fucking Smithereens It's 12:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 23h

Oasis Are Shit And All Their Fans Are Cunts. I Don't Actually Think This But On Recent Evidence It Will Guarantee This Swear At Least 12 Million Views It's 11:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1d

Anal Dripping On Toast It's 10:00AM