"It sure does!"

came out great

Well Fed buff.

You wait for the stables. Your tabard gets flipped up. The only missing armour piece. You are not being rewarded for doing a good job. You are being interacted with like any other game piece. You have no dialogue to click through. They get right to the action.

The reins are obnoxiously tight around your chest. Every time they turn you you feel it. Running from quest to quest in a level 20 zone, your gleaming edgelord armour catching the sunrays. You stand there as they click through dialogue, staring.

Collections menu.

Mount tab.

Your home.

"Legendary Challenger".

You weren't even paying attention to them. One more challenger. Your skills hit the one in one thousand to miss. His debuffs hit the one in one thousand to hit. Your memory of the situation gets hazy.

You take 'em on, it's only sporting. It's fun. A few of them are high enough level that they actually take 1% of your health off. You make sure to cycle through your skills as you beat them so they get to see all the flashy animations.

(from further down the hall) the coffee maker's just close to the room you'r ein and i was getting some continue

(muffled, from down the hall) you do

the classic awkward "it's not NOT porn"

accidentally crack open a bimbofication number and wear heavier and heavier sweaters to try and cover it up