fuck it, I'll be the president of Harvard. i'll tell all those dorks who are upset about facts and reality to eat my shit and hair on national tv

Just witnessed someone make sangria by mixing red box wine and mountain dew and I feel like I'm either observing a genius or about to see someone raided by the feds

what has this country come to? a guy can't have a hobby of running an 8 billion dollar ponzi scheme?