Sarah 'Cuse
@tablesarenotreal.bsky.social
"That much sparkle should NOT be concentrated in the area of my ass." #glitter #bedazzled #juicycouture #somewouldarguetheopposite
December 23, 2025 at 10:17 PM
"That much sparkle should NOT be concentrated in the area of my ass." #glitter #bedazzled #juicycouture #somewouldarguetheopposite
You know you're old when you're actively grateful for new socks. #happyholidays #merrychristmas
December 23, 2025 at 10:14 PM
You know you're old when you're actively grateful for new socks. #happyholidays #merrychristmas
Are you the "Mom Friend"? Do you want your irresponsible friends to find a dirtbag bf whom you can disapprove of, to feel more adult?
September 10, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Are you the "Mom Friend"? Do you want your irresponsible friends to find a dirtbag bf whom you can disapprove of, to feel more adult?
#latenightshowerthoughts Which city is considered the Florida of #Florida?
September 10, 2025 at 10:35 PM
#latenightshowerthoughts Which city is considered the Florida of #Florida?
If I'm a "host body" in the words of Republican politicians, I am opening a vacancy for any demonic possession interested in said opening. #everyoneneedsfeminism #feminism #iamnotanincubator
August 7, 2025 at 1:58 PM
If I'm a "host body" in the words of Republican politicians, I am opening a vacancy for any demonic possession interested in said opening. #everyoneneedsfeminism #feminism #iamnotanincubator
I stand by my rule in high school: I will cheerlead for a boys' team when boys have a cheer squad for girls' teams. EXCLUSIVELY. #everyoneneedsfeminism #justfeministthings #feminism #femimist #cheerleading
August 4, 2025 at 12:26 AM
I stand by my rule in high school: I will cheerlead for a boys' team when boys have a cheer squad for girls' teams. EXCLUSIVELY. #everyoneneedsfeminism #justfeministthings #feminism #femimist #cheerleading
Did you know that you can feed A LOT of squirrels into those pneumatic tubes at the bank before the teller finds the off switch?
August 4, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Did you know that you can feed A LOT of squirrels into those pneumatic tubes at the bank before the teller finds the off switch?
After quitting teaching, one of the things I've come to miss the most is my toilet seat bathroom pass. #justteacherthings
April 28, 2025 at 9:44 PM
After quitting teaching, one of the things I've come to miss the most is my toilet seat bathroom pass. #justteacherthings
My #themesong is just screaming and a thumpy techno beat behind it.
April 28, 2025 at 5:36 PM
My #themesong is just screaming and a thumpy techno beat behind it.
#thingsmyparentssay (Mom) "When I die-" (Dad interrupts) "Is it soon?"
April 18, 2025 at 2:09 AM
#thingsmyparentssay (Mom) "When I die-" (Dad interrupts) "Is it soon?"
I wish this was an original line, but... No one chooses men on purpose.
April 11, 2025 at 2:11 AM
I wish this was an original line, but... No one chooses men on purpose.
Ah, it's been so long since I've been described as a workplace perk. #everyoneneedsfeminism #feminism
April 3, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Ah, it's been so long since I've been described as a workplace perk. #everyoneneedsfeminism #feminism
Trying to hit the high note in some songs... The news reports 2 Dead, 15 Wounded. #notasopranoanymore #myvoicecrackgotyoulikewhiplash
March 21, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Trying to hit the high note in some songs... The news reports 2 Dead, 15 Wounded. #notasopranoanymore #myvoicecrackgotyoulikewhiplash
I just wanna be the stuff of nightmares. A girl can dream. #goals #lifeambition
March 8, 2025 at 2:25 AM
I just wanna be the stuff of nightmares. A girl can dream. #goals #lifeambition
"Well, I'm made up of like 40% scotch and 60% hating babies."
February 4, 2025 at 12:30 AM
"Well, I'm made up of like 40% scotch and 60% hating babies."
I used to keep my Twitter around to remember I was funny once.
February 2, 2025 at 11:52 PM
I used to keep my Twitter around to remember I was funny once.
I'd watch and read the HELL out of this.
February 2, 2025 at 11:47 PM
I'd watch and read the HELL out of this.