I’m still dreading the fact today is Sunday (meaning I get to pretend in an exhausting performance that I’m both a boy and not completely fucking miserable for my mum and sister for 4 hours) but sure

It’s ok I went on and spoke to people afterwards I feel slightly better now

Fight with a friend over some really dumb bullshit and now I'm quite drunk and kinda upset and dk what to do with myself

Wonder how I've been in 4 abusive relationships with an attitude like that!

I have tried for so long to live causing as little "hassle" for others as possible that I suppress how I actually feel even when I feel like people are treating like shit, and then I end up exploding on the wrong people which makes me feel awful and the cycle intensifies in frequency again

Like fuck me. I immediately without fail every time start worrying about whether the mildest fights are gonna make people hate me now. I need to stop walking on eggshells wtf am I doing

Will update when we have the super based reformed Slavic matriarchy, but that's probably gonna take a few hundred years and a lot of tech stealing from Constantinople before we get there 💀

We've also got a ridiculous amount of vassals because I'm still in the process of consolidating power in establishing a few powerful but loyal vassals in the Kingdom that can serve as high chiefs, need more direct rule over the counts for now so I can completely revoke Tengri titles

As a result, I've already had to put down 2 mass rebellions from Tengri nobles in 3 years, both on their own larger than my entire army (which was also the case when I was subjugating Bulgaria in the first place, which is why the war took like 12 years lol)

Currently engaging in a process of stealing the wealth from all the local Tengri nobles by finding any plots they're involved in, imprisoning and repeatedly ransoming them for release while I revoke their titles for religious reasons and give it all to local Croatian Slavic Pagans instead 😭

First Senulatovic High Chief, assassinated by his son Vojnomir "Son of Veles" who would become the first Senulatovic King of Pannonia, (and also killed his one eyed brother in a duel so he could take the county he owned lol)

2nd King of Pannonia, Koloman "The Flayer" named so for regular executions

Many such cases lmfao

I'm currently playing as the Kingdom of Pannonia (which I formed from being a single county Count in Slavonia, assassinating my father to hijack the duchy, subjugating the Avars and after the first king died to dysentary, the Bulgarians)

Have to make Byzantium chill out :P

It’s so pathetic istg