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teainnumvarala.bsky.social
Kavya Janani 🌻🌌🎶
@teainnumvarala.bsky.social
190 followers 140 following 520 posts
She/Her. 31. Melomaniac. Mom. Banker. Writer. Singer. Playlists Maker. Metaphysics Aficionado. HU 🌀
#KJDreamyPoet

Writer acct: @kavyajanani.bsky.social

One stop link for my works: https://linktr.ee/kavya.janani
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Meanwhile KJ's Wordle grid looked like this yesterday
Wordle grid
March 4, 2025 at 5:30 AM
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Guys...🥹

Credit: @_basakduran_ on IG
Starry Night Art by Basak Duran
February 23, 2025 at 4:23 AM
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TW: grief

#KJDreamyPoet
FOR NEITHER EVER, NOR NEVER, GOODBYE... (after Apparat) I don't know what to say anymore. I have written this poem a million times inside my head, whirling each word, each letter round and round inside my cerebrum, coating it with layers and layers of excruciating ache and grief. Sometimes, I think I should have put pen to paper when my wound was still fresh. But the words were scared of me. They didn't want to come to a woman who was splintering herself by thinking about how she could have been a saviour. Do you see it now? My whole skin is tattooed only with ifs, buts, and whys. If I could have been there for you... But you didn't trust me enough... Why didn't I check up on you? A thousand different scenarios gnaw and eat through my flesh and bones, making my whole being swim in an ocean of regrets. What's another one going to do to me than add to the mess? Sometimes, I console myself that I'm already an abode of devastation. But this devastation would be that nasty stain that wouldn't go away. I have to live with it, looking hard into it every day. You see, this poem would be disarrayed, much like how my soul has been since you left without any goodbyes or answers. All my neural networks have been rejecting the fact that you are no longer a living, breathing, thriving human being. That there are no more footprints of you on this Earth. That you will never get to drink another hot tea on a hot summer's day. Even the songs that we both loved do not know how to help me wade through something as catastrophic as this. Amidst all this, I want to ask you - What song did you listen to at the last? Didn't music, the very thing my blood is made up of, and the very thing that carried you through your darkest hours, save you at last? I cannot even hate it because it is the only thing that gives me the warmest hugs whenever I crave them. You see, I have been served only mango ice cream at three different events. The flavour you loved the most. Maybe you are trying to let me know of your presence. Maybe all the random songs that pop into my mind out of nowhere are sent by you to reassure me that everything is fine with you. Or maybe this is how I try to make sense of my grief. There are days when I feel perfectly normal. Like you are still out there, plotting your next annoying remark as a reply to something I posted online. And then there are days when I feel that my solar plexus has ruptured, with all the seven stages of grief colliding with each other inside my body. I'm never going to bid you goodbye as something or the other clangs at my heart with a remembrance of you. I will grow around this, keep flourishing as I always did, and let this pain co-exist peacefully with all my other emotions. It's funny how time has suddenly become a villain in my life. Throughout January, I was irritated that the month wasn't moving fast. I even willed it to go to February soon. Now, what wouldn't I sacrifice for it to be January 31st once again? But every morning, my phone flashes a date that's so alien to me. It will never be January 31st, 2025, again. We both loved time travel so much. In the end, I have realized that time is the only thing that cannot be bent. Time, to you in another plane, is an illusion. Time, to me in this murky reality, will be a healer. Time, my arch nemesis, will keep both of us safe. Kavya Janani. U
February 22, 2025 at 1:34 PM
teainnumvarala.bsky.social
Back in 2021, I did this small experiment. I took a dark poem of mine and wrote a happier version. It was truly cathartic. Read both the versions below and let me know what you think.

#KJDreamyPoet
IF YOU'RE ARE LOOKING FOR A RAY OF HOPE IN THIS POEM, YOU'LL FIND NONE Wake up and become a never-resting Ferris wheel, each cabin carrying a responsibility. Oh, how I wish I could unhinge myself and become a rollercoaster for once. My bones are haunted houses, thick with emptiness and suppressed energies. I am always climbing staircases that lead nowhere. Neither there are landings nor plush carpets to comfort my parched foot. What am I, if not a rag-doll stuffed with suffering? I am already a succulent abode of ache that I cannot be overwatered with more tribulations. On most days, I am a lump of sand stuck to the top of an hourglass, dribbling, dribbling, dribbling, to become a mound of disappointment to myself. I sashay through time's fickle passage, scratch nostalgia's skin, and juice every object around me, all for a sip of peace, but all I find is my body warming up to this mundane's caress. I warned you about not finding hope in this poem, so please stay away from this decrepit woman. Kavya Janani. U THE SUN BUILDS A HOME IN THIS POEM Wake up and become a water-fountain, bursting with so much energy that I can flood the pathway. I don't want to still. I don't want to become a sleeping river. I am my own honey. My bones are mansions, thick with the celebration of self-love, my name a decree chanted by the flowers. I am always climbing staircases that lead me to the sun. The steps are mottled with gold carpets to soothe my tired feet. What am I, if not a daffodil in human form? I am succulent with bliss and hence I let sorrow moonwalk off my heart. On most days, I am a sea of starlight, glowing, glowing, glowing, to become a breath of bright blue. I waltz to the tune of my heart (I am enough, I am enough), burn the embers of my past, kiss my heartbreaks a goodbye, and find myself sleeping on a bed of sunflowers. I am now a poem, encapsulating so much hope. So, come closer to this yellow soul. Kavya Janani. U
January 24, 2025 at 5:14 PM
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An Improved Heart ✨ From the 2020 archives ☺️
#KJDreamyPoet
I have sewn all my ventricles With broken shards of glass. The next time you touch my heart With palms smeared with hurt, You'd have to write apologies With the blood oozing From your beige fingertips. My heart is no longer A squishy fat tomato That you can cut into pieces And add to your salad Made of gaslighting syllables. Now there flows in my aorta The liquid gold of the sun. You still try to dip Frozen Antarctic lakes in it. Now they don't sting me. They melt, melt, melt. My heart no longer needs A sensitivity toothpaste, darling. My heart leaks so much love, But this time it's for Nourishing my scarred veins. Now my heart is a pancake. I top it with honeyed dreams, Cheeses made of liberalism, And berried independence, But not with your misogyny. My heart is a soil that no longer Absorbs dominance, darling. For once, my heart is owned Not by your patriarchy, But by myself and myself only. Kavya Janani. U
January 19, 2025 at 3:26 AM
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Absolutely loved playing these mini nerdles 😁
January 4, 2025 at 2:21 PM
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Book haul from yesterday's book fair visit.

The Cassandra Complex and Viral Yaanai were gifted by @omahazeeya.bsky.social ❤️
A set of books
January 2, 2025 at 4:59 PM
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Deiiii Zomato, ellathukum oru limit dhan 😑
A cheeky notification from Zomato
January 2, 2025 at 6:45 AM
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That was a rich blue, but it turns purple when photographed 😀
A steel tumbler containing butterfly pea flower tea
January 1, 2025 at 4:17 PM
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If you see this, post a pic from your device without any explanation.
A wooden kangaroo with its joey
December 30, 2024 at 7:55 AM
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Love solving an easy Sudoku grid 🤓
A finished Sudoku puzzle
December 29, 2024 at 1:16 PM
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🤣
An Archie comic strip from today's TOI Chennai Edition
December 27, 2024 at 8:37 AM
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Happy Christmas Eve, folks!

Do give this old horror short story a read: kavyajanani.wordpress.com/2023/05/28/t...
Gothic horror themed Christmas Eve
December 24, 2024 at 2:39 PM
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Set this tree up on my work desk 🫶🏾

P.S: That open false ceiling gave me a story idea for a horror novel 🤭 I'll soon be plotting it 😁
A mini Christmas tree
December 24, 2024 at 8:56 AM
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Me me me 🤣
A tweet by @kalesus_ saying - I got my Master's in yearnalism
December 23, 2024 at 9:04 AM
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You should all be on Fable

#BookSky 📚💙
2024 Reading Wrap by Fable
December 21, 2024 at 6:39 PM
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Fable's 2024 Reading Wrap is so cool

#BookSky 📚💙
2024 Reading Wrap by Fable 2024 Reading Wrap by Fable 2024 Reading Wrap by Fable 2024 Reading Wrap by Fable
December 21, 2024 at 6:37 PM
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From the 2020 archives ✨

#Poetry #KJDreamyPoet #PoetrySky
Every time I write a poem, I disappear into -the curves of my words -the contours of my anxiety -the thundering silence -the taste of my metaphors -the form that my poem takes, wading through the labyrinth, trying to find the purpose of my existence -a world where only I exist along with the bleached moon, stars, and the midnight blue Kavya Janani. U
December 20, 2024 at 1:25 PM
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Every year, I thank my to and fro commute for giving me the time to read books.

#BookSky 📚💙
My #GoodreadsYearInBooks stats
December 19, 2024 at 2:26 PM
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Pablo Neruda ✨

#PoetrySky #Poetry
'Leave me a place underground,' XXVI From: 'Las Piedras del Cielo' Leave me a place underground, a labyrinth, where I can go, when I wish to turn, without eyes, without touch, in the void, to dumb stone, or the finger of shadow. I know that you cannot, no one, no thing can deliver up that place, or that path, but what can I do with my pitiful passions, if they are no use, on the surface of everyday life, if I cannot look to survive, except by dying, going beyond, entering into the state, metallic and slumbering, of primeval flame?
December 19, 2024 at 6:24 AM
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I wrote this narrative poem on a brown paper bag a few days after my LASIK surgery in Dec 2020. Taylor Swift's evermore album was my only comfort during those days when I couldn't use any electronic gadgets.

#KJDreamyPoet #HappyBirthdayTaylor #Poetry #PoetrySky
FOREVER IS THE SWEETEST CON after Taylor Swift We sit on the rim of the dried-up well. Young hearts, doubled with intoxication. Our fingers inching forward to entwine. I ask you, "If I fall headlong into this, what would you do?" Would you grieve? Would you bury your face in your palms? Would your entire being shake with the animosity of the incident? Would you inform my parents? Would you feel my absence in the air? As I gaze into your hazel eyes, I know you wouldn't. 'Cause, for you, our forever is a mirage. You'd stand up, dust the mud off your pants, like you are dusting remnants of our Memories, and reach home hurriedly. You'd swear that I wasn't with you. Even a lie-detector wouldn't pass through Your tawny sugar-coated skin. 'Cause, for you, forever love is a fantasy. You'd find another girl, you'll make the Same promises to her. Hell, you wouldn't shed a tear! And, I, I would be a long-forgotten relic, at the bottom of a dried-up well, Wisteria growing from my bones. You'd cover up, you'd get away stealthily. Some day, you'd come to bury something Nearby the parched well. A lone marigold, a ring, or a letter, I'd never know. My soul would be reminded of the day you buried your past lover's belongings Amidst the weeds in my backyard. Did she die the way I did? Were you a repeat murderer of girls who Believed in forevers with you? Ah, I'd never know! And, no, I wouldn't haunt you. I would rather haunt someone who Deserved me when I was flesh and blood. Kavya Janani. U
December 13, 2024 at 2:38 PM
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Coloured in this app after a long time :)
A picture of three roses from a colouring app
December 11, 2024 at 4:37 PM
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Taylor Swift asked this in one of my favourite songs from folklore album. This was my answer to her back in 2020 ✨

#KJDreamyPoet
ARE THERE STILL BEAUTIFUL THINGS? sun rays peeping from behind the clouds, painting the picture of a parallel universe / thinnest crescent moon / bookshelves / shingle beaches / starry skies like a cut-out from a children's picture book / alcoves / rainbows / amber / a toddler's tiny palms cupping your cheeks / honeyed voices / purple sunsets / a cuckoo's call in the morning / pendulum clocks / sunlight filtering through dense woods / music that forms a whirlpool at the base of your heart / whitewashed buildings / cherry blossoms. Kavya Janani. U
December 11, 2024 at 3:37 PM
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A fragment from the weird dream I had on Sept 22nd, 2023.

Will do a series of such fragments 😂
In the first dream, I'm at a beautiful place that looks like the Matri Mandir in Pondicherry. A woman is standing wearing shorts and a face mask made of plaster of Paris. I ask her about the place and she tells me it is Turkey and then tells me the prices of all the things she has. Then I turn around and see many people having heads of Buddha (white in colour) instead of their own heads. I ask myself, 'How is everyone looking the same while wearing a Buddha mask?' Then, my family joins me and we start a long walk. That's when I realise that the place is a Fort. We keep walking while talking about many things. We reach a temple sanctum-sanctorum where there is a Hindu God. We stand in a line to pray. Then I see a place where they are giving annadaanam. My mom is sitting there. The place next to her is free. Then I rush there to sit and eat.
December 10, 2024 at 1:44 PM
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Randomly thinking about this dissection I made on Karu Karu Vizhigalaal because a friend asked for it on Twitter.
Karu karu vizhigalaal to Oru minnal vandhu saaikka - Naresh lyer Nee, nee, nee - Naresh lyer Oru malli charame, ilai sindhum, pudhu velli - Chorus Unnai thedum kangal - Naresh lyer Ye, ven, mann - Naresh lyer Nee thanga, nurai pongum, madhan pinnum - Chorus Unnai thedum - Naresh lyer Pudhu pudhu varigalal to Un mugame ennai soozha - Karthik Thaamarai ilai neer to Pudhaiyal needhana - Krish Nee, mannil, minnum - Karthik Oru malli charame, ilai sindhum, pudhu velli - Chorus Unnai thedum - Karthik Ye, vellai, ambaal - Karthik Nee thanga, nurai pongum, madhan pinnum - Chorus Unnai thedum - Naresh lyer Oru naal oru naal to Kalla thanam odum - Karthik Neerae illa paalaiyile to Thodarndhidum pizhai pizhai - Krish Karu karu vizhigalal to Siru amudham ennai kudikudhe - Karthik Iravinil urangaiyil to Oru minnal vandhu saaikka - Krish Thaamarai ilai neer to Pudhaiyal needhana - Krish (Second) Thaamarai ilai neer interspersed with chorus - Naresh lyer
December 10, 2024 at 12:07 PM