Tom Thomas
@terradactle.bsky.social
Probably dumb jokes I thought about while running
she cumin my anise till i nutmeg
April 24, 2025 at 2:07 PM
she cumin my anise till i nutmeg
severance but for indoor/outdoor cats
March 22, 2025 at 1:18 AM
severance but for indoor/outdoor cats
guy who orders snacks the way you’d order cigarettes “yeah lemme get a doritos red pack”
March 21, 2025 at 12:45 PM
guy who orders snacks the way you’d order cigarettes “yeah lemme get a doritos red pack”
totinos are PIZZA ROLLS, tostitos are TORTILLA CHIPS, TOSTINOS do not exist. know the difference!
February 28, 2025 at 12:08 AM
totinos are PIZZA ROLLS, tostitos are TORTILLA CHIPS, TOSTINOS do not exist. know the difference!
mobbing the streets after a birds win is such a great reminder of what a PROPER city this is. the density to be able to just pack broad street, the iconic backdrop of city hall. what do they even do when the chiefs win, meet at hardees?
January 27, 2025 at 3:13 PM
mobbing the streets after a birds win is such a great reminder of what a PROPER city this is. the density to be able to just pack broad street, the iconic backdrop of city hall. what do they even do when the chiefs win, meet at hardees?
you cant be neutral on a moving milk hotel
January 25, 2025 at 4:46 PM
you cant be neutral on a moving milk hotel
hey girl, are you a small town in Snyder county, PA? because you are shamokin damn!!
January 24, 2025 at 8:25 PM
hey girl, are you a small town in Snyder county, PA? because you are shamokin damn!!
the most unrealistic part of the Wire IMO, was everyone was too shrewd at negotiating. i dont get the impression local politicians are all that bright IRL. case in point: the arena
January 14, 2025 at 12:36 PM
the most unrealistic part of the Wire IMO, was everyone was too shrewd at negotiating. i dont get the impression local politicians are all that bright IRL. case in point: the arena
(introducing someone to an artist whos just been cancelled) howd you like to get in on the ground floor?
January 13, 2025 at 7:45 PM
(introducing someone to an artist whos just been cancelled) howd you like to get in on the ground floor?
(anti trans guy): its a little ditty about jack and diane, not little ditty about JACKIN diane
January 10, 2025 at 3:14 PM
(anti trans guy): its a little ditty about jack and diane, not little ditty about JACKIN diane
ice cream flavor idea: oreo speedwagon
January 8, 2025 at 5:08 PM
ice cream flavor idea: oreo speedwagon
radio DJs be like “heres some tunes to get you through your workday!” the tunes: “its a bittersweet symphony, thats life. try to make ends meet, youre a slave to money then you die”
December 30, 2024 at 10:41 PM
radio DJs be like “heres some tunes to get you through your workday!” the tunes: “its a bittersweet symphony, thats life. try to make ends meet, youre a slave to money then you die”
when the SEPTA bus just says SEPTA instead of the route number
December 13, 2024 at 7:27 PM
when the SEPTA bus just says SEPTA instead of the route number
a lot of people don’t know this but pac-man is short for “political action committee man”
December 13, 2024 at 11:25 AM
a lot of people don’t know this but pac-man is short for “political action committee man”
have you heard of Cris Criss Collinsworth? Well I’m Pissed Pisstollensworth
November 25, 2024 at 1:35 AM
have you heard of Cris Criss Collinsworth? Well I’m Pissed Pisstollensworth
What if instead of the “don’t say gay” bill, we did the “dude say hey” bill and you gotta say what’s up to everybody you see. Could be a good idea
February 8, 2024 at 8:35 PM
What if instead of the “don’t say gay” bill, we did the “dude say hey” bill and you gotta say what’s up to everybody you see. Could be a good idea