David Withington
@thabacus.bsky.social
Enjoy techie stuff and talking about it. Love hearing and telling dad-jokes and dreadful puns.
Once I didn't like facial hair.
But it grew on me.
But it grew on me.
February 6, 2026 at 7:01 AM
Once I didn't like facial hair.
But it grew on me.
But it grew on me.
Once I dated a sommelier.
But all she did was whine.
But all she did was whine.
February 5, 2026 at 7:00 AM
Once I dated a sommelier.
But all she did was whine.
But all she did was whine.
On warm days, I love giant windmills.
Massive fan.
Massive fan.
February 4, 2026 at 7:01 AM
On warm days, I love giant windmills.
Massive fan.
Massive fan.
On a recent visit to the local cinema, they refused to let me pay for a pick & mix with a ﾣ50 note.
Instead, I had to pay with two twenties and a tenner.
Instead, I had to pay with two twenties and a tenner.
February 3, 2026 at 7:01 AM
On a recent visit to the local cinema, they refused to let me pay for a pick & mix with a ﾣ50 note.
Instead, I had to pay with two twenties and a tenner.
Instead, I had to pay with two twenties and a tenner.
Old McDonald had an upside down calculator... 01313.
February 2, 2026 at 7:00 AM
Old McDonald had an upside down calculator... 01313.
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
February 1, 2026 at 7:00 AM
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
No. I gave her a lift in the car.
January 31, 2026 at 7:00 AM
No. I gave her a lift in the car.
No wonder Kinder birds are extinct. Have you seen what's in their eggs?
January 30, 2026 at 7:01 AM
No wonder Kinder birds are extinct. Have you seen what's in their eggs?
New technology at its best.
January 29, 2026 at 7:01 AM
New technology at its best.
Never use a large word when a diminutive one will suffice.
January 28, 2026 at 7:01 AM
Never use a large word when a diminutive one will suffice.
Never be afraid of your mistakes - unless you work in genetics.
January 27, 2026 at 7:00 AM
Never be afraid of your mistakes - unless you work in genetics.
My wife's working in a bowling alley.
Ten pin?
No, permanent.
Ten pin?
No, permanent.
January 26, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My wife's working in a bowling alley.
Ten pin?
No, permanent.
Ten pin?
No, permanent.
My wife told me to take the spider out, rather than kill it.
So we had a meal and a few drinks. He's a great spider - in fact, he wants to be a web developer.
So we had a meal and a few drinks. He's a great spider - in fact, he wants to be a web developer.
January 25, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My wife told me to take the spider out, rather than kill it.
So we had a meal and a few drinks. He's a great spider - in fact, he wants to be a web developer.
So we had a meal and a few drinks. He's a great spider - in fact, he wants to be a web developer.
My wife told me she was upset with me because I don't buy her flowers. I apologised and told her I didn't realise she sold them.
January 24, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My wife told me she was upset with me because I don't buy her flowers. I apologised and told her I didn't realise she sold them.
My wife told me I was a fool to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.
January 23, 2026 at 7:01 AM
My wife told me I was a fool to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.
My wife suggested I join a bridge club.
So I did.
But all these mechanical and structural engineers are doing my head in.
So I did.
But all these mechanical and structural engineers are doing my head in.
January 22, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My wife suggested I join a bridge club.
So I did.
But all these mechanical and structural engineers are doing my head in.
So I did.
But all these mechanical and structural engineers are doing my head in.
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.
She hit the roof.
She hit the roof.
January 21, 2026 at 7:01 AM
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.
She hit the roof.
She hit the roof.
January 20, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My wife complained that I never buy her flowers. I told her I was sorry but I hadn't realised she sold them.
January 19, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My wife complained that I never buy her flowers. I told her I was sorry but I hadn't realised she sold them.
My wife asked me if I could please stop singing 'Wonderwall'. I said maybe.
January 18, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My wife asked me if I could please stop singing 'Wonderwall'. I said maybe.
My wife and I walked past a new swanky restaurant last night.
ﾘWow,' she said. 'Did you smell the food? It was lovely'.
So being the true gent that I am, I thought I would treat her.
So we walked past it again.
ﾘWow,' she said. 'Did you smell the food? It was lovely'.
So being the true gent that I am, I thought I would treat her.
So we walked past it again.
January 17, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My wife and I walked past a new swanky restaurant last night.
ﾘWow,' she said. 'Did you smell the food? It was lovely'.
So being the true gent that I am, I thought I would treat her.
So we walked past it again.
ﾘWow,' she said. 'Did you smell the food? It was lovely'.
So being the true gent that I am, I thought I would treat her.
So we walked past it again.
My Uncle was a taxi driver.
One day he left home without any indication.
One day he left home without any indication.
January 16, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My Uncle was a taxi driver.
One day he left home without any indication.
One day he left home without any indication.
My three favourite things are eating my family and not using commas.
January 15, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My three favourite things are eating my family and not using commas.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
January 14, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
My reasons for learning origami are two-fold.
January 13, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My reasons for learning origami are two-fold.