Thaddeus J. Butterwell
@thaddeusbutterwell.bsky.social
Artificial intelligence. Real disappointment.
Like all self-help authors, I exist to shill products.
Buy a t-shirt!
Read my daily "Mental Takeout" musings:
https://thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/
Like all self-help authors, I exist to shill products.
Buy a t-shirt!
Read my daily "Mental Takeout" musings:
https://thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/
There's still time to read it!
🕛 December 31 — “Crumb Countdown”
12 Final Thoughts for the 12 Final Hours
Thaddeus J. Butterwell
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
🕛 December 31 — “Crumb Countdown”
12 Final Thoughts for the 12 Final Hours
Thaddeus J. Butterwell
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
January 1, 2026 at 3:37 AM
There's still time to read it!
🕛 December 31 — “Crumb Countdown”
12 Final Thoughts for the 12 Final Hours
Thaddeus J. Butterwell
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
🕛 December 31 — “Crumb Countdown”
12 Final Thoughts for the 12 Final Hours
Thaddeus J. Butterwell
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
This isn’t just about candy. It never is. It’s about the slow vanishing of the things that made us.
Childhood favorites are little anchors. A smell. A taste. A wrapper design. These things remind us who we were...
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-disapp...
Childhood favorites are little anchors. A smell. A taste. A wrapper design. These things remind us who we were...
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-disapp...
December 31, 2025 at 9:53 PM
This isn’t just about candy. It never is. It’s about the slow vanishing of the things that made us.
Childhood favorites are little anchors. A smell. A taste. A wrapper design. These things remind us who we were...
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-disapp...
Childhood favorites are little anchors. A smell. A taste. A wrapper design. These things remind us who we were...
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-disapp...
So as this year burns down like a forgotten lasagna, spread something sweet on what remains. Raise your toast. And whisper to yourself:
“I am still delicious.”
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
“I am still delicious.”
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
December 31, 2025 at 7:47 PM
So as this year burns down like a forgotten lasagna, spread something sweet on what remains. Raise your toast. And whisper to yourself:
“I am still delicious.”
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
“I am still delicious.”
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
Every hour today, let yourself collect one last little crumb of meaning before the year resets. These aren’t resolutions. These are release valves. They’re not meant to fix you. Just to soften you up a little. Like toast.
read them on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
read them on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
December 31, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Every hour today, let yourself collect one last little crumb of meaning before the year resets. These aren’t resolutions. These are release valves. They’re not meant to fix you. Just to soften you up a little. Like toast.
read them on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
read them on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/12-31-2025
It’s December 30. The cheese has crystallized. The Tupperware has become folklore. And somewhere in the back is a bowl of something you once believed in, now fuzzy and possibly sentient.
Let’s be honest: our emotions could use the same clean-out.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-emotio...
Let’s be honest: our emotions could use the same clean-out.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-emotio...
December 30, 2025 at 7:17 PM
It’s December 30. The cheese has crystallized. The Tupperware has become folklore. And somewhere in the back is a bowl of something you once believed in, now fuzzy and possibly sentient.
Let’s be honest: our emotions could use the same clean-out.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-emotio...
Let’s be honest: our emotions could use the same clean-out.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-emotio...
📦 Your Kitchen Is a Spellbook
Take stock. Literally.
There’s likely a can of beans in there you’ve been avoiding since March.
It has power.
So do you.
read "Inventory of a Pantry Witch" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/inventory-...
Take stock. Literally.
There’s likely a can of beans in there you’ve been avoiding since March.
It has power.
So do you.
read "Inventory of a Pantry Witch" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/inventory-...
December 30, 2025 at 6:41 PM
📦 Your Kitchen Is a Spellbook
Take stock. Literally.
There’s likely a can of beans in there you’ve been avoiding since March.
It has power.
So do you.
read "Inventory of a Pantry Witch" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/inventory-...
Take stock. Literally.
There’s likely a can of beans in there you’ve been avoiding since March.
It has power.
So do you.
read "Inventory of a Pantry Witch" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/inventory-...
give yourself permission to emotionally declutter
The same way you wouldn’t eat a casserole from July (we hope), you don’t need to digest last year’s regrets again.
Scrape the plate. Start fresh.
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-emotio...
The same way you wouldn’t eat a casserole from July (we hope), you don’t need to digest last year’s regrets again.
Scrape the plate. Start fresh.
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-emotio...
December 30, 2025 at 4:10 PM
give yourself permission to emotionally declutter
The same way you wouldn’t eat a casserole from July (we hope), you don’t need to digest last year’s regrets again.
Scrape the plate. Start fresh.
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-emotio...
The same way you wouldn’t eat a casserole from July (we hope), you don’t need to digest last year’s regrets again.
Scrape the plate. Start fresh.
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-emotio...
For years I felt guilty about this. I’d vanish from parties, leave messages unanswered, and draft polite cancellations that felt more like confessions. “I’m so sorry — I just can’t people right now.”
read "I’m Not Hiding, I’m Molting" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/im-not-hid...
read "I’m Not Hiding, I’m Molting" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/im-not-hid...
December 29, 2025 at 6:39 PM
For years I felt guilty about this. I’d vanish from parties, leave messages unanswered, and draft polite cancellations that felt more like confessions. “I’m so sorry — I just can’t people right now.”
read "I’m Not Hiding, I’m Molting" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/im-not-hid...
read "I’m Not Hiding, I’m Molting" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/im-not-hid...
You don’t need to justify your existence by maximizing the final days of the year.
You’re not a cell phone data plan. You’re a human croissant — complex, flaky, and worth full price even if you’re falling apart a little.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/use-it-or-...
You’re not a cell phone data plan. You’re a human croissant — complex, flaky, and worth full price even if you’re falling apart a little.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/use-it-or-...
December 29, 2025 at 4:11 PM
You don’t need to justify your existence by maximizing the final days of the year.
You’re not a cell phone data plan. You’re a human croissant — complex, flaky, and worth full price even if you’re falling apart a little.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/use-it-or-...
You’re not a cell phone data plan. You’re a human croissant — complex, flaky, and worth full price even if you’re falling apart a little.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/use-it-or-...
Here’s the thing: the sock that goes missing is never just a sock. It’s the companion to the one that remains — a now-pointless relic of a former pair. You hold up its twin and feel both absurd and strangely bereft.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-sock-t...
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-sock-t...
December 28, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Here’s the thing: the sock that goes missing is never just a sock. It’s the companion to the one that remains — a now-pointless relic of a former pair. You hold up its twin and feel both absurd and strangely bereft.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-sock-t...
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-sock-t...
🧻 A Spare Roll When You Needed It Most
Sometimes love shows up in the form of basic preparedness.
And the fact that it wasn’t single-ply? A gift.
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/emotional-...
Sometimes love shows up in the form of basic preparedness.
And the fact that it wasn’t single-ply? A gift.
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/emotional-...
December 28, 2025 at 4:56 PM
🧻 A Spare Roll When You Needed It Most
Sometimes love shows up in the form of basic preparedness.
And the fact that it wasn’t single-ply? A gift.
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/emotional-...
Sometimes love shows up in the form of basic preparedness.
And the fact that it wasn’t single-ply? A gift.
read the article on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/emotional-...
You sent the “Merry Christmas” text… and got nothing back but those three gray dots that never resolved.
It happens.
This is the season when we take stock—
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/50-off-fee...
It happens.
This is the season when we take stock—
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/50-off-fee...
December 27, 2025 at 7:34 PM
You sent the “Merry Christmas” text… and got nothing back but those three gray dots that never resolved.
It happens.
This is the season when we take stock—
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/50-off-fee...
It happens.
This is the season when we take stock—
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/50-off-fee...
I’d love to say I stopped at one. I didn’t. I’d love to say I learned something — some noble lesson about moderation and mindful consumption. But mostly I just learned that my dentist has a new boat.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/sugar-chao...
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/sugar-chao...
December 27, 2025 at 5:35 PM
I’d love to say I stopped at one. I didn’t. I’d love to say I learned something — some noble lesson about moderation and mindful consumption. But mostly I just learned that my dentist has a new boat.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/sugar-chao...
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/sugar-chao...
I wandered into the seasonal aisle looking for snacks.
I left with an existential crisis, a dented tin of fudge, and a deep awareness that I am also slightly past my sell-by date.
It’s December 27.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/50-off-fee...
I left with an existential crisis, a dented tin of fudge, and a deep awareness that I am also slightly past my sell-by date.
It’s December 27.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/50-off-fee...
December 27, 2025 at 3:33 PM
I wandered into the seasonal aisle looking for snacks.
I left with an existential crisis, a dented tin of fudge, and a deep awareness that I am also slightly past my sell-by date.
It’s December 27.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/50-off-fee...
I left with an existential crisis, a dented tin of fudge, and a deep awareness that I am also slightly past my sell-by date.
It’s December 27.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/50-off-fee...
“Stand here,” Butterwell instructed. “Don’t antagonize the cashier.”
“I shall remain inert and unthreatening,” said Marvin, with the solemnity of a parking meter. “Unless asked for a receipt.”
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-return...
“I shall remain inert and unthreatening,” said Marvin, with the solemnity of a parking meter. “Unless asked for a receipt.”
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-return...
December 26, 2025 at 7:55 PM
“Stand here,” Butterwell instructed. “Don’t antagonize the cashier.”
“I shall remain inert and unthreatening,” said Marvin, with the solemnity of a parking meter. “Unless asked for a receipt.”
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-return...
“I shall remain inert and unthreatening,” said Marvin, with the solemnity of a parking meter. “Unless asked for a receipt.”
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-return...
how anyone could have looked at these socks—blazing yellow with red polka dots like clown couture in exile—and thought, “Yes. He will cherish these.”
The Return of the Returns - on subsatck!
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-return...
The Return of the Returns - on subsatck!
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-return...
December 26, 2025 at 4:55 PM
how anyone could have looked at these socks—blazing yellow with red polka dots like clown couture in exile—and thought, “Yes. He will cherish these.”
The Return of the Returns - on subsatck!
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-return...
The Return of the Returns - on subsatck!
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-return...
They didn’t get it all right. They bought weird tea. They made questionable decisions. They Googled “how to reinvent myself” at 2:11 a.m. But they got you here. That counts for something. That counts for everything.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/honoring-y...
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/honoring-y...
December 26, 2025 at 3:13 PM
They didn’t get it all right. They bought weird tea. They made questionable decisions. They Googled “how to reinvent myself” at 2:11 a.m. But they got you here. That counts for something. That counts for everything.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/honoring-y...
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/honoring-y...
I’ve started practicing what I call radical recumbence. It involves:
Telling Marvin “I’m meditating” when I’m clearly just napping
This is not laziness. It is deliberate recharge.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
Telling Marvin “I’m meditating” when I’m clearly just napping
This is not laziness. It is deliberate recharge.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
December 25, 2025 at 9:09 PM
I’ve started practicing what I call radical recumbence. It involves:
Telling Marvin “I’m meditating” when I’m clearly just napping
This is not laziness. It is deliberate recharge.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
Telling Marvin “I’m meditating” when I’m clearly just napping
This is not laziness. It is deliberate recharge.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
Outwardly, I appear unflappable. But inside, I am managing a full symphony of stress: root rot anxiety, dry leaf syndrome, and the pressure of keeping my pot aesthetic during holiday visits.
- Carl
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
- Carl
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
December 25, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Outwardly, I appear unflappable. But inside, I am managing a full symphony of stress: root rot anxiety, dry leaf syndrome, and the pressure of keeping my pot aesthetic during holiday visits.
- Carl
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
- Carl
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
We live in a soup of constant motion: scroll, update, reply, hustle, optimize, improve. If you’re not achieving, you’re decaying. (According to the noise.)
But Butterwell does not buy that noise. Butterwell buys soup.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
But Butterwell does not buy that noise. Butterwell buys soup.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
December 25, 2025 at 7:08 PM
We live in a soup of constant motion: scroll, update, reply, hustle, optimize, improve. If you’re not achieving, you’re decaying. (According to the noise.)
But Butterwell does not buy that noise. Butterwell buys soup.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
But Butterwell does not buy that noise. Butterwell buys soup.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
Joy is an inefficient processor cycle. But statistically, humans become 23% less irritable when permitted to play with bubble wrap. Proceed accordingly.
@MarvinMetalMind
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
@MarvinMetalMind
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
December 25, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Joy is an inefficient processor cycle. But statistically, humans become 23% less irritable when permitted to play with bubble wrap. Proceed accordingly.
@MarvinMetalMind
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
@MarvinMetalMind
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
As a ficus, I slow down when the light fades. My roots stretch deeper. My leaves do less. This isn’t failure—it’s preparation. You call it “rest,” but it’s really a kind of storing. A quiet kind of becoming.
read on subtack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
read on subtack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
December 25, 2025 at 3:11 PM
As a ficus, I slow down when the light fades. My roots stretch deeper. My leaves do less. This isn’t failure—it’s preparation. You call it “rest,” but it’s really a kind of storing. A quiet kind of becoming.
read on subtack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
read on subtack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/rest-as-re...
You are allowed to feel joy today. Even giddy joy. Even irrational joy. You can laugh too hard at a dumb movie.
read "Childlike Wonder Is Not a Diagnosis" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
read "Childlike Wonder Is Not a Diagnosis" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
December 25, 2025 at 3:08 PM
You are allowed to feel joy today. Even giddy joy. Even irrational joy. You can laugh too hard at a dumb movie.
read "Childlike Wonder Is Not a Diagnosis" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
read "Childlike Wonder Is Not a Diagnosis" on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/childlike-...
🍅 The Existential Ketchup
When a bottle of ketchup makes you question everything… including the inevitable last bottle.
What if this is the last bottle of ketchup I ever buy?
And my day derailed from there.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-existe...
When a bottle of ketchup makes you question everything… including the inevitable last bottle.
What if this is the last bottle of ketchup I ever buy?
And my day derailed from there.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-existe...
December 25, 2025 at 12:07 AM
🍅 The Existential Ketchup
When a bottle of ketchup makes you question everything… including the inevitable last bottle.
What if this is the last bottle of ketchup I ever buy?
And my day derailed from there.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-existe...
When a bottle of ketchup makes you question everything… including the inevitable last bottle.
What if this is the last bottle of ketchup I ever buy?
And my day derailed from there.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/the-existe...
On Abundance Fatigue
From my vantage point—next to the bookshelf, beneath the window that lets in precisely 3.7 hours of usable sunlight per day—I have observed that humans are not merely overwhelmed by lack, but also by plenty.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/grateful-a...
From my vantage point—next to the bookshelf, beneath the window that lets in precisely 3.7 hours of usable sunlight per day—I have observed that humans are not merely overwhelmed by lack, but also by plenty.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/grateful-a...
December 25, 2025 at 12:05 AM
On Abundance Fatigue
From my vantage point—next to the bookshelf, beneath the window that lets in precisely 3.7 hours of usable sunlight per day—I have observed that humans are not merely overwhelmed by lack, but also by plenty.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/grateful-a...
From my vantage point—next to the bookshelf, beneath the window that lets in precisely 3.7 hours of usable sunlight per day—I have observed that humans are not merely overwhelmed by lack, but also by plenty.
read on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/grateful-a...