He’s doing all the Crazy Uncle hits

I think some bald dude made a call from inside the house

Fucking love being ignored for 30 minutes before I drop $600

I love how everyone in this movie takes the existence of Gizmo in stride. Like, no one asks “what species of animal is that?” or why is it cloning itself with water? Also- what does this drink? You’re just a bad pet owner dude.

Like, ending with an “i”?

K but the tick bite has had a Botox like effect on my butrcheck. I got one fleshly one and one that feels like I squat 500lbs

His head just did that

The tick bit my bottom, now my bottom is big.

In the last month I’m 2-0 vs ticks. They always get removed, put in a dated zip lock bag, and then frozen in the freezer next to the ice cream.

Bitch ass arachnids. I’m the captain.

You can’t just make up shit and present it as an established feature of life.

The images updated the public’s idea of torture, which until that time seemed to have some dramatized James Bond / Braveheart notions.